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Husband messaging SIL

(61 Posts)
silvergirl85 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:28:08

My husband is close with his brothers wife, this has been the case for many years, long before I came on the scene. I’ve always known this and been ok with it, they would have nights of them 2 going out for drinks etc as they are good friends. However recently they’ve been messaging daily, I haven’t been looking at his phone, but when we are sitting together her name flashes up several times...nothing inappropriate as far as I’m aware. AIBU to think this is a bit weird?

Doobigetta Mon 25-Sep-17 22:33:56

It could be completely innocent- planning a surprise for the brother/husband? Have you asked your husband why they're messaging each other?

WhoWants2Know Mon 25-Sep-17 22:34:09

Are there any birthdays or events that they might be secretly planning?

Princesspinkgirl Mon 25-Sep-17 22:34:43

Or are they up to no good

silvergirl85 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:37:13

I’ve said to him in passing “oh how’s (SIL name)” and “you’ve been chatting to her a lot-how is she” that sort of thing. He never rises to it and doesn’t seem like trying to hide anything. He is a flirty sort of personality and I am the opposite, I could never imagine messaging his brother the same amount!!

Nuttynoo Mon 25-Sep-17 22:37:44

How old are they? My brother is close to my sil too and will often pop round for dinner even if my other brother isn’t around. They text etc. But he sees her as the normal big sister he was cruelly denied because me and my sister are weirdos grin

Jasharps Mon 25-Sep-17 22:40:20

I'm very close to my husband's brothers. Regularly text and go out. We're very good friends and have known each other a long time. I think of them as brothers and as the only girl in the family (apart from my DDs and MIL). I'm their sister!

GemmaCollinsBabes Mon 25-Sep-17 22:44:46

I text my husband's brother 30-40 times a day! We have very similar sense of humour when it comes to things in the news.
We often have lunch alone when we are working in the same town.
I seen him as my brother.

silvergirl85 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:46:26

They’re both mid 30’s. I think it probably is innocent, I just find it weird that he seems to text her more than me. He’s never done anything questionable in the past, it’s most likely me being over sensitive.

GotToGetMyFingerOut Mon 25-Sep-17 22:46:49

Gemma 30-40 times a day is alot of texts to anyone!

GemmaCollinsBabes Mon 25-Sep-17 22:53:28

Got It's a fair few but we text a conversation during radio programmes and links to articles throughout the day.

My close friends and I will regularly exchange the same amount. Especially if we are reading the same book or planning an event.

Penny4UrThoughts Mon 25-Sep-17 23:03:40

Is anyone else wondering if GemmaCollins and silvergirl married brothers... grin

Demander Mon 25-Sep-17 23:06:54

He doesn't have to message you, he's sitting next to you. smile
Suggest they are mates who enjoy making funny comments to each other by text.

donquixotedelamancha Mon 25-Sep-17 23:25:00

Imagine a bloke posting: 'My DW has a male friend she messages frequently- I don't like it'.

The reception would not be fun. Words like 'controlling' would be bandied around.

Men and women can be friends. Some people text a lot (I don't get it). Examine why you feel this way and then talk to your husband and ask for a little reassurance, perhaps a bit more effort in communication with you.

GirlOnATrainToShite Mon 25-Sep-17 23:27:19

30-40 times a day shock

I message my BIL (OH brother), I like him and I never had a brother .

Chloebobbins Mon 25-Sep-17 23:34:27

My husband has a few female friends who he knew long before he met me. They text quite a lot and he will go out on nights out with them but it doesn't bother me. I have met them plenty of times myself, and if he wanted to leave me for one of them, then he has had about ten years before he met me to get with them. Well one he did but it didn't really work out, anyway it doesn't bother me. Some people just get along really well.

Rachie1973 Mon 25-Sep-17 23:38:20

As you say, they were friends before you came along. It would be unfair to expect them to alter that to suit you.

Mittens1969 Mon 25-Sep-17 23:43:06

It sounds very much like a close brother-sister relationship, I think. It definitely doesn't sound like anything to worry about from what you've said.

cafenoirbiscuit Mon 25-Sep-17 23:47:18

Can't imagine having the energy or interest to send a text to anyone
30 - 40 times a day .......

Jux Mon 25-Sep-17 23:52:05

Can you imagine messaging your sister's dp?

GemmaCollinsBabes Mon 25-Sep-17 23:58:37

Oh gosh now I look like a bizarre texting woman.
Honestly we have a back and forth about a specific topical news radio programme which warrants maybe 20 texts in two hours along the lines of (example from the election for example)

Him "It will be interesting to hear so and so this morning"
Me "yeah he's a pro at avoiding the question"
Him "that article about him in x newspaper got to the bottom of a lot of stuff"
Me "but they won't bring it up will they?"
Him "he's coming on!"
Then chatter during the interview. Just a bit like IMing someone. Duller than dull. Then we'll text as the news unfolds throughout the day.

LouHotel Tue 26-Sep-17 00:02:51

It sounds like they have a sibling relationship. Has the SIL been part of the family since they were teens?

Gorgosparta Tue 26-Sep-17 05:53:49

Does he spend the same amount of time with her everyday that he does with you?

If not, its not really the same and cant be compared. I dont text dh alot. Maybe once during the day, once a week. I text other people loads more.

silvergirl85 Tue 26-Sep-17 06:13:59

Thanks for all your responses. Yes she’s been around for many more years than me, I think you’re all right that it’s more like a sibling relationship.

AVirtuousLife Tue 26-Sep-17 06:58:38

Sorry OP but I think that's quite unusual to say the least.

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