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AIBU to say adult DD cannot have a pet?

(81 Posts)
HiWorld Mon 25-Sep-17 22:12:06

I honestly have no idea if I'm being unreasonable!

DD (19) lives at home (full time job) and would like a hamster. She had hamsters as a kid and never cleaned them out and it was always left to me, swore never again. She says it was because they were from pet shops and they were not handled properly by them so used to bite. She says she has researched breeders who handle them from babies. However, I still can't imagine her cleaning it out! I don't want that stinking out her room!

Plus, we have cats!! She says she can shut her door and thinks her room is her space... I do agree but the reality is, is till her final say, right?

She did want rats but I wouldn't even be able to look at them

BeatriceBeaudelaire Mon 25-Sep-17 22:19:32

I mean it’s your house ... your rules, I guess x

Discotits Mon 25-Sep-17 22:23:06

Your house, you get to say.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves Mon 25-Sep-17 22:24:30

It's your house, unless she pays rent on the room as has a full time job. Then I'd let her get it. Hamsters do smell.

HiWorld Mon 25-Sep-17 22:26:30

She doesn't pay rent for the room really just a small contribution for the food and shampoos, etc. In bathroom

Xmasbaby11 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:28:49

I think I'd let her tbh. It'll be in her room and she will probably be a lot more responsible than when she was younger. Show that you trust her.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 25-Sep-17 22:35:39

Even if she did pay rent, its up to the landlord whether pets are allowed.

SingingMySong Mon 25-Sep-17 22:36:38

Has she shared a bedroom with her hamsters before? They're noisy at night.

HiWorld Mon 25-Sep-17 22:37:59

Yes she has lol she likes the noise. Has to sleep with the fan on, she's an odd one grin it's the smell I don't want

Ilikehappy Mon 25-Sep-17 22:38:17

I think you should agree but she has to absolutely guarantee she will clean it out regularly enough to prevent smells.

Onehellofaride Mon 25-Sep-17 22:38:36

Depends on your DD I think you know her best. We got DD who is 8 a hamster for her birthday early this year and numerous people told us we would end up looking after it. I knew she would and she has we have to do nothing with it. She handles her all the time, feeds and cleans her out and her room does not smell at all.

Onehellofaride Mon 25-Sep-17 22:39:08

Oh and we got a flying saucer wheel so it makes no noise

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Mon 25-Sep-17 22:43:19

They don't have to smell. Ours were all toilet trained (they'd go in a jam jar which could be changed every day).

just5morepeas Mon 25-Sep-17 22:45:59

Your house your rules.

teaandtoast Mon 25-Sep-17 22:47:09

Will you have to clean it out when she goes on hoiday or goes travelling?

expatinscotland Mon 25-Sep-17 22:48:05

We have a male Syrian hammy who doesn't smell at all. 11-year-old DD and I look after him because we absolutely love hammies. We handle him all the time but he sleeps in the utility room because he is very noisy at night.

It's your house, though, so your rules.

JoJoSM2 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:48:10

If you didn't want any animals in the house full stop, then fair. But arguments about her cleaning out etc I wouldn't even think about. She's 19 yo and should be allowed to be a responsible adult.

splendidisolation Mon 25-Sep-17 22:48:10

Personally i dont like the ethics of this - keeping an animal locked in a room when it can probably smell the permanent presence of predators right under the door crack.

Secondly, i think its your house and at 19 she should be out getting her own place if she wants her own pets.

It all sounds a bit infantile tbh. I mean shes a grown up woman with a job.

SendintheArdwolves Mon 25-Sep-17 22:48:33

At 19, you think she would neglect an animal in her care?

You "can't imagine her cleaning it out" - I don't want to come over all harsh, but jeez. You either have a very low opinion of her, or she's weirdly immature.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Mon 25-Sep-17 22:48:37

YWNBU. Aside from the fact that hamsters are gross, it could well be that you’d be the one ending up cleaning it out etc when she gets bored. Plus, as others have said, it’s your house.

TurquoiseChevrotain Mon 25-Sep-17 22:50:29

@splendidisolation hamsters aren't infantile. It's sad they're seen like that. Lots of people buy them for Christmas for their kids and they're neglected for the next 3 years. If you mean her living at home... Well, what's so wrong with saving for a mortgage?

Mittens1969 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:50:57

Personally i dont like the ethics of this - keeping an animal locked in a room when it can probably smell the permanent presence of predators right under the door crack.

This is very true.

JaneEyre70 Mon 25-Sep-17 22:54:24

I don't go anywhere near my DDs bedrooms, they are 19 and 21 and their responsibility and their personal space. If they wanted a smelly pet, it wouldn't bother me as they are the ones that are going to share a space with it and not me! I'd let her get on with it, and don't step in if it isn't clean though far easier said than done!! She's an adult now, and at least she's asked before bringing one home.

expatinscotland Mon 25-Sep-17 22:54:51

I'm a woman in her mid-40s who loves Syrian hamsters. I think they make terrific pets if they've been socialised well. This is our 4th hammy. I guess I'm infantile, but that's okay with me, Chris the hammy is adorable.

Slimthistime Mon 25-Sep-17 22:56:10

I didn't know hamsters were noisy at night. That sounds funny!

OP your house, your rules. You don't want to end up hamster sitting when she's out partying etc

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