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to wish these guys would keep their comments to themselves?

(25 Posts)
Didyoumeantobesorude1 Mon 25-Sep-17 16:59:53

I'm old. Seriously well past middle age and approaching senescence. I like doing stuff on my own; in fact it's great. So why do men feel the need to pass comments to me? It's fucking infuriating. It's not offensive remarks (though god knows I had plenty of that when I was younger) but jokey flirtatious crap. Example: I'm in a fairly upmarket arts venue, browsing the work on view. I happen to be looking at a painting of a wine bottle when the attendant hovers over and offers this pearl of wisdom: "You're too young to drink".
This stuff gives me the rage. I don't want to be interrupted in this way. I must have some kind of approachable appearance because I bet fierce upper class women don't get bothered in this way.
AIBU? would you be flattered? how would you lovely mumsnetters respond to this? I just laughed inanely and wandered off. I know it's not serious enough to report the poor guy but I find it so, so annoying.

Seniorcitizen1 Mon 25-Sep-17 17:49:18

Try going to normal arts venues rather than upmarket ones, whatever they are

Mosaic123 Mon 25-Sep-17 17:51:29

Annoying but I think he's trying to be friendly.

MarthaArthur Mon 25-Sep-17 17:52:34

Wow so people can't interact with anyone anymore. He was being nice and jokey you sound grumpy. No wonder we are becoming a nation of miseries.

Amanduh Mon 25-Sep-17 18:28:31

I'd probably say get over yourself

WorraLiberty Mon 25-Sep-17 18:30:39

I was going to suggest you got over yourself too, but I fear there are no ladders long enough.

CockacidalManiac Mon 25-Sep-17 18:34:56

Try going to normal arts venues rather than upmarket ones, whatever they are

grin

WingsofNylon Mon 25-Sep-17 18:59:40

Huh?!

Corcory Mon 25-Sep-17 19:04:37

Oh dear - grow up!

LaurieFairyCake Mon 25-Sep-17 19:07:52

I get where you're coming from - constantly forced to be in conversations with men, forced to be pleasing to them with your 'inane' laugh.

Sometimes you just want to be left the fuck alone to enjoy your own shit.

Didyoumeantobesorude1 Mon 25-Sep-17 19:09:32

Haha ok maybe upmarket was the wrong word. It was the Royal Academy in London. The thing is that it was full of men looking at art entirely unchallenged. None of the attendants approached any of them with their comments. I don't want someone to appear suddenly at my shoulder and say something like this. It's really annoying.

Didyoumeantobesorude1 Mon 25-Sep-17 19:10:43

Thanks Laurie, you understand.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 25-Sep-17 19:12:51

I must have some kind of approachable appearance because I bet fierce upper class women don't get bothered in this way

I presumably do. I haven't experienced this. I have spent quite a lot of time on my own on the RA.

Kenworthington Mon 25-Sep-17 19:13:24

Yes Laurie hits the nail on the head. I'm with you both on this.

woollyminded Mon 25-Sep-17 19:17:04

Oh hell yeah. The old you-must-be-in-desperate-need-of-some-man-attention-over-there-all-on-your-own. I am also well aged and quite enjoy my own company. God help ya if you fancy a thoughtful sandwich in the upmarket caff of one of these upmarket galleries.

TalkinBoutNuthin Mon 25-Sep-17 19:18:23

I've been knowm to gaze at them, slowly raise an eyebrow, and ask 'does that line actually ever work?'

Afternooncatnap Mon 25-Sep-17 19:20:28

Are you saying you think young men are hitting on you.

Maybe they see your alone and just want to be friendly.

Maybe you could give another example as I see no issue with the situation you described.

I wish people would be friendly to me more often. It's nice when people talk to you.

KERALA1 Mon 25-Sep-17 19:21:10

Are you attractive op? I used to get this now I'm over 40 not so much...do get you though forced to be polite to random men really tedious and sexist as almost always men to women

Lethaldrizzle Mon 25-Sep-17 19:23:27

I think it's a bit sad to not like strangers talking to you. One day you may get ignored all togeher. Its a bit like the thread in which one poster complained she kept getting approached by strangers because her baby was so cute!

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox Mon 25-Sep-17 19:26:37

I have to say I agree with you. I'm mid 40's and and very independent and I always seem to get men asking if I need help. My usual response is "because I'm a woman or do I just look stupid?" I know it's rude but it bloody annoys me. I once had a tug of war with a man in a cafe who wanted to carry my tray to the table. To be fair he worked there and it was a 'posh' cafe, he carried everyone's trays but I wasn't having any if it. He eventually sloped off mumbling "but it's my job." grin

I have a problem blush

DavidPuddy Mon 25-Sep-17 19:40:53

I understand, too. Why should you be imposed upon while you are in the middle of something just so a dull man can feel witty and benevolent?

woollyminded Mon 25-Sep-17 19:46:53

I'm well over 40, not it's not 'young men hitting on me' and no, it's not friendly. I'm all for a nice chat but that I'm sent what this is. I have found that the last thing these men want is a conversation. My take on is that they think I would be grateful to be delighted at their attention because I am nowt but a lonely woman out on my own with no better offer.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 25-Sep-17 19:51:10

God help ya if you fancy a thoughtful sandwich in the upmarket caff of one of these upmarket galleries

I can honestly say I have not had any difficulties. Royal Academy, National Gallery, both Tates, the V&A, the Rijksmuseum, all the major museums in Florence and Paris.

I'm sure it must be awful but for me it is just not a thing that happens.

CoughLaughFart Mon 25-Sep-17 20:17:43

You're not unreasonable to want to be left alone. You are unreasonable to expect people to be psychic. All you have to do is politely let them know you're not interested.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 25-Sep-17 20:24:45

You're not unreasonable to want to be left alone. You are unreasonable to expect people to be psychic. All you have to do is politely let them know you're not interested

But why should they assume in the first place that OP wants to have a conversation?

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