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Lifting at night

(55 Posts)
GreenApples987 Mon 25-Sep-17 12:32:03

Hi,

I'm posting here for traffic.

DH's been lifting our son (5.8 years old) at night for a wee while he sleeps (we don't wake him up for this) for a month now. We cut the drinks by 7-7:30pm, ask him to wee before going to bed (8:30ish) and DH lifts him for another wee around 11pm. Sometimes this routine works a charm and DS wakes up dry, but most of the time even after having a wee at 11, DS still wakes up wet, either in the middle of the night (2-3am) or very early in the morning (5-6am). It's been a constant with bed sets to wash nearly everyday and a grumpy child in the morning to do the school run(probably because of the bed wetting interrupting his sleep). We are all very tired and wondering if this is really the way to go to potty train him during the night.

Does anyone have a word of advice, please? We are feeling very tired and hopeless at this point.

A bit of background: we took DS off the night nappies and started the lifting mainly because the nappy was not holding the volume of wee anymore and he was already waking up wet during the night even wearing them.

WishfulThanking Mon 25-Sep-17 12:35:32

Have you seen your GP? They will refer you to the bedwetting team.

beCreativeInitiate Mon 25-Sep-17 12:36:59

Time to consult a Dr.

The advice is for any child over 5 1/2, get proper advice.

It may be immaturity but you won't get the answers you need here. Maybe good suggestions but as this isn't out of laziness or naughtiness, there isn't much you can do WRT behaviour with rewards.

beCreativeInitiate Mon 25-Sep-17 12:37:58

An appallingly written answer above (writing while walking) but hope you got the drift.

Moanyoldcow Mon 25-Sep-17 12:38:46

I'd talk to the GP - it sounds like he could do with an investigation.

SingingMySong Mon 25-Sep-17 12:43:43

It sounds like the right hormone hasn't kicked in for him yet.

Check out www.eric.org.uk. They generally advise not to lift as it can encourage children to wee in their sleep.

I would go back to nappies and work on the other building blocks. Lots to drink in the daytime but cut back earlier. No red juice. We make sure tea is served by 6pm with one small drink, and no drinks after that, and DD (age 10) has lights off at 8.30. More daytime drinking will help stretch and tone his bladder, but stopping early really helps. But if the hormone hasn't kicked in yet it might just not be his time yet, and it sounds like there's a lot of volume there still.

Keep his bedroom dark to help stimulate the melatonin.

Research different nappy options - could you go up a size? You could also change him (with or without lifting him) when you go to bed.

dementedpixie Mon 25-Sep-17 12:44:06

It's normal for some kids to wet until the age of 7/8 so i don't think a GP would help just yet. Lifting is not recommended unless you wake them so they are aware of what they are doing otherwise you are teaching them to wee in their sleep which is not what you want.

Have they ever been dry? Dryness is related to producing a hormone that reduces urine overnight. It also relies on being able to wake with a full bladder. If they are not producing the hormone they are not going to be able to stay dry. I'd go back to pull ups for the time being

NannyR Mon 25-Sep-17 12:45:47

Lifting can be useful, but it's important that you wake him up before he goes to the toilet. Lifting whilst asleep reinforces the idea of weeing whilst asleep, and you want him to be aware of a full bladder and wake naturally because of that awareness. Although night dryness is a physiological process and not something you can train a child to do, and if he's not ready its not going to happen.

SingingMySong Mon 25-Sep-17 12:49:09

Enuresis clinic aren't interested until they are 7 here unless daytime is a problem, but maybe I'm out of date. It might be different round yours anyway. We found the school nurse more helpful than GP.

flufffypinkrug Mon 25-Sep-17 12:50:08

I believe lifting can cause more problems if they are not aware that they are weeing if they remain asleep. It's like getting them in the habit of weeing in their sleep.

I would chat with the GP or health visitor for some advice, but I wouldn't be too worried. He's still a little young for it to be a big concern. It may just be his hormones aren't how they need to be yet.

Mittens1969 Mon 25-Sep-17 12:50:51

Tbh, I know it's a pain but waking your DS up in the night isn't helping him. He's being encouraged to wee whilst still asleep. A PP's suggestion to change his nappy before you go to bed is a great idea.

We went through this with DD2 when she was 4 years old; in the end we just put her to bed without a nappy/pull-up and let her wet the bed. It was exhausting for a while but then she got it and she hasn't wet the bed for more than a year now.

But you should also get professional advice. It's not potty training as your DS can't help it. It must be awful for him.

Raaaaaah Mon 25-Sep-17 12:55:30

I always thought that the advice was to seek help from 7yrs? Has this changed beCreative. We have the same situation with our just turned 6 DD. A load of urine soaked laundry is not the way to start the day!

We do plenty of clear fluids during the day, no drink after tea, dark room, lift but awake at 11:00 but still wet a majority of the time. She is keen not to wear nappies.

RedHelenB Mon 25-Sep-17 12:56:47

My dd just didn't seem to have the mechanism to wake up when they needed a wee but she outgrew it by y1.

GrumpyOldBag Mon 25-Sep-17 13:00:16

good advice from singingmysong
worked for my DS many years ago.

TalkinBoutNuthin Mon 25-Sep-17 13:01:31

You can't potty train night time dryness if he's weeing that much.

His hormone hasn't kicked in, and you can't make it kick in earlier. If he gets to 7 they will give hormone medication, but at this age I doubt they would do anything.

Lifting is pointless, it does nothing to train at all, and can encourage bad habits.

Once he can go occasional nights without wetting, or is only wetting as he wakes up, you can use an alarm which will wake him when it gets wet. Pointless to try to use if it is going to be waking him up several times a night.

To try to get dryer earlier you can cut drinks out earlier, by about 6 pm, but this is very hard to do if you have a child that doesn't drink brilliantly during the day.

No dark drinks, so no squash, no chocolate milk, etc.

For some children cow's milk can be a problem. Try making sure he doesn't have milk in the evening.

But really, it is waiting for the body to mature and start developing the hormone.

BorisTrumpsHair Mon 25-Sep-17 13:02:23

Hang in there OP - layer up the bed.

The hormones usually kick in at around 7. We saw enuresis nurse when dd was 6, and she started to improve dramatically about that time. Not because of any "treatment" she had but because of age/hormones kicking in.

I never lifted though. Reduced liquids after 6.30 and another wee before lights out if he reads to himself in bed.

EezerGoode Mon 25-Sep-17 13:06:39

Use pj pants,they do them up to age 15.. on the shelves in all supermarkets so it's obviously a common issue..get the bigger size to soke up more wee.ive had to use them with all my 4 kids up to age 9. No big deal.they stopped needing them with needing to see a GP

EezerGoode Mon 25-Sep-17 13:08:40

If yr letting him wee ,by lifting ,in the night ,and not waking him that's not helping the problem.as yr not training the bladder to hold the wee while child is asleep...

Runningpear Mon 25-Sep-17 13:10:16

I would say no drinks from 6pm and reduce amount drunk from 5pm onwards in addition to the above. 7.30pm seems too late to still be drinking especially as he seems to be doing a large volume of wee in the night.

SasBel Mon 25-Sep-17 13:10:47

Back to nappies. DD has just turned 8 and is still not dry at night, her little brother has been since he was 2.
In our case, DD sleeps very deeply and has insufficient hormone to stop urine production. She has recently started to have the odd dry nights so not going to bother the Dr's just yet.
Good luck!

drspouse Mon 25-Sep-17 13:11:09

If you are still getting wet beds with or without nappies, then layer as follows:

Waterproof sheet
Washable bed pad (they tend to be sold as incontinence aids)
Sheet
Waterproof sheet no 2
Washable bed pad no 2
Sheet no 2
Have duvet no 2 to hand - or my tip is a patchwork type quilt which is much easier to wash/dry than a duvet. This sort of thing.

We had a champion wee-er who we managed to night train with lifting aged about 4 because he was out-weeing his nappies and getting rashes - so we would have to do washing anyway plus the rash. But a pre-midnight lifting worked for him.

EverythingWillBeGreat Mon 25-Sep-17 13:11:47

He isn't ready.
If he has never been dry before, it will be a matter of time and waiting for his body to self regulate.

You can go and see the GP to check any other issues (e.g. Cystitis).
A gp can direct you to an eunuresis clinic with alarms in pants etc
But TBH we found that waiting and making as little fuss as possible about it was easier for dc2 rather than adding the stress of having alarm and putting the expectation on him that he ought to be dry.
Dc2 was in nappies at your DC age and wasn't reliable until he was 10yo.
He is now 13yo and has had a couple of accident since then, maybe once a year.

drspouse Mon 25-Sep-17 13:11:57

7.30pm seems too late to still be drinking

Yes this also

And while an evening lifting is not SUPPOSED to work, it did work for us - maybe by chance.

EverythingWillBeGreat Mon 25-Sep-17 13:13:29

And YY to drspouse layering system.
Makes things much easier.
Actually by the time dc2 was about 8~9 yo he would just strip the top sheet in his own wo even waking us up.

ReachOutAndTouchDave Mon 25-Sep-17 13:15:43

I went through Enuresis clinic stuff with my eldest DS. When I told the consultant and nurses I'd lifted him they were a bit disapproving so I don't think it's the recommended advice. (We stopped anyway as we lived in a house with a downstairs bathroom and it was a massive PITA. )
I have to say they were largely unconcerned about bedwetting once they'd ruled slightly scary stuff out (he has a birthmark on his spine which can be an indicator of stuff apparently) and eventually we were downgraded to the Enuresis nurses who were also a bit unconcerned.
He stopped wetting when he was 10. Yes that's a long time to have to wait but some children just don't get the right hormone until they are a bit bigger. Anyway, I think my point is, I was worried, none of the medical staff were.

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