To report sister to social services after latest revelation from niece?(131 Posts)
In short, there have been several questionable incidents and the latest one has me reeling and wanting to report her to social services. My toddler nephew was holding his finger and grizzling, and I noticed a small scar. So I asked my niece (who is just under 5) what happened, and she said 'he cut it on daddy's razor and it bled a lot'. My first reaction: disbelief and speechless. So I asked her exactly what happened. She said he picked up daddy's razor and cut himself on it. There was a lot of blood.
What the hell do I do with this? There are other incidents: left alone in bath, left alone to watch TV while mum sleeps upstairs, ... Is this none of my business or should I just report?
No help, but couldn't read without bumping you up.
Definitely report, don't wait for a more serious incident to happen
I doubt they'd be interested tbh. It was an accident. Plenty of kids get hurt in the home because things aren't put away. In an ideal world they wouldn't buy everyone is human.
How do you know they're being left to watch telly ? I wouldn't take a five year olds word for it.
I would be more concerned about them being left in the bath tbh but then I've cut myself on a Razer recently I'm 42
But yes report
Why don't you offer support rather than report? Maybe she's struggling?
You can, but I share dame's view that it will be seen as an accident. How about buying your DSis a bathroom cabinet and starting a conversation?
Are they under stress? Strapped for cash? Struggling with other issues?
I wouldn't report. I don't think this warrants social work intervention.
Social Services? Are you SURE they're left alone in the bath etc? I'd be sure before I report.
Kids can get into all sorts that you believe are well-secured. I've been amazed at toddlers learning how to get past baby-proof latches and gates and anything. Accidents happen and toddlers are wily little things.
Can you give us any non-outing clues about the other questionable incidents? That may make a difference, as, imo at least, this one is not a reason to call SS on its own.
Are you fucking serious?
A child accidentally cuts self with razor - SS involvement? And on your own sister?!
Children are getting beaten black and blue by their parents. Children are being sexually abused by their parents. Children are living in absolutely disgusting conditions.
Speak to your sister about it and ask why razors are being left around. Offer some support. See if she's okay.
But SS??!! Beggars belief to be honest.
I can remember cutting myself on a razor as a child.
"Left alone to watch TV while mum sleeps upstairs" - not ideal, but I know plenty of people who do that with a child-proofed room, particularly if they are working shifts
"Left alone in the bath" could mean all sorts of things, including "pops to the airing cupboard next to the bathroom to get out a clean towel whilst chatting to the children"
If you are concerned, why wouldn't you offer help and support in the first place rather than report her to the over-stretched SS? Nothing you've said in and of itself would reach the threshold for intervention
Erm no, be a better support and see what's up, have a conversation with your sister
I'm with Mama, I'm amazed at how many people agree with ringing SS! There must be some real perfect parents out there that never ever put a foot wrong!
My son fell over in the bath once and hit his chin, he cut the inside of his mouth and blood was everywhere.... guess what I was right next to him at the time and it happened so quickly that I didn't even have a chance to grab him. Maybe someone should ring SS on me!
I cut myself on a razor too. Loads of kids do. Usually not a sign that SS needs to be involved, just a boringly normal 'oops oh shit I forgot to put it on the shelf' from a busy parent. At the point they cut themselves, kids usually remember that they aren't allowed to touch the said object. And don't any more.
I still remember my mum shouting at my dad as I proffered my bleeding thumb, and thinking 'no idea why she is shouting at daddy - I was the one that picked it up and poked the end if it with my thumb to see what would happen'
SS is a total and complete overreaction to a very ordinary household incident with toddlers. The parents will now remember to put it out of reach, and both kids will know not to touch razors. Job done.
Young children mainly die either in car accidents or accidents at home. Accidents do happen to the best of us, I haven't had any of the ones you mention happen, but I made other mistakes. I think most parents do. But it sounds like you think this is a bit more than that and that your niece and nephew are lucky it hasn't been worse? If so, and you don't think you can raise it gently in a way she would accept, I think somewhat lax home safety sounds more like health visitor intervention than SS, maybe you could contact them instead?
I could never ring ss on my own family . But then I know how famillies can be ripped apart because of them . And once they are in your life you can't get rid of them .
I agree with pp, maybe offer extra support. See if your sister is managing ok. It would need to be serious for me to warrant calling ss on any parent tbh .
What are the other "questionable incidents"?
There would have to be a lot of other stuff going on for those 3 things to warrant reporting imo. Sleeping while they watch tv - any evidence? Was she actually asleep or just resting while a toddler and 5 year old watched tv in a different room in the same house (most parents I know have done similar in my very middle class neighbourhood). The cut is an accident. The bath is concerning but more information is needed. Are they just left there or is it that they're left while a parent is literally just outside door chatting with them. What is the context that makes these three incidents make you consider calling ss?
I could never ring ss on my own family
So if a family member punched their child or you suspected sexual abuse you wouldn't report numbmum? Ok then.
In this situation I wouldn't call ss on this incident alone. It depends on the context of the other concerns. A small child being left in the bath for a long while is dangerous and could have disastrous consequences. Being left downstairs- it depends how long etc.
I think the crux of it is that if you think the children are in danger you need to do something. Maybe NSPCC for advice?
You've been left "reeling" because a child cut themselves on a razor. really? Kids fall, bump themselves, cut themselves touching things they shouldn't, cut themselves falling from things they shouldn't be climbing on in even the most child proofed house. Unless there are other very serious issues that you've not mentioned, I've no idea what you think social services or the nspcc wouid be doing - they're usually pretty busy dealing with children who are actually being neglected or abused. Have you spoken to your sister about the incidents you think merit social work involvement? Maybe offered to sit with the kids if she's sleeping?
Unless there's a massive backstory you're being ridiculous.
Given the Childs' age I'd check with Mum first if the incidents are true and offer support.
DS (8) once told his teacher I was telling them (him & his DS) that I was 'just popping out for a minute and I never came back ALL night' (single parent).
In reality. I'd put the wheelie bin out for collection the next day (they get emptied stupidly early here). Bumped into a neighbour doing likewise and got chatting. By the time we'd finished
gossiping chatting and I'd come back in, DS was asleep. I hadn't been anywhere but because he hadn't seen me until the morning I was gone all night in his head!
Many other instances, such as telling the Camhs workers I'm always down the pub - reality - I don't drink and the pub is a monthly ritual of mine where I take DCs for tea. Mainly because it's cheap as chips.
Complete freak accidents happen, trust me, if there's a possible way or injuring yourself in the most obscure manner, my DS is always up for the challenge!
Cuts on fingers bleed a lot, and to a child under 5 it would seem excessive. And nothing unusual about a toddler being curious about a razor that his dad uses daily....
Out2Pasture yes. You just reminded me of the time DD, who was also about 5, fell over and hit her nose on the school run (she wasn't looking where she was going and faceplanted the floor) - massive nosebleed there was SO much blood there was actually a few moments we considered taking her down A&E. Sensible sister came along helped me clean her all up and she was absolutely fine ten minutes later.
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