I have two DS's (soon to be 3) and hear gender stereotyped stuff all the time- "boys will be boys", "typical boy" "boys are like dogs- you just need to take them to the park and run them" "girls sit and color while boys are destructive etc.
In some ways I think my kids do conform to these stereotypes and other ways not at all. But I don't know how much 'confirmation bias' is in there and how I see what I expect to see, and how much is a self fulfilling prophecy. I keep saying i've brought them up no differently to how I would have brought up girls, but then I realise this isn't strictly true- they wear boys clothes for eg, and have many typically boys toys- they have a few dolls etc, but they do feel a bit like token efforts.
Do your DC's conform to stereotypes? If you have both sexes have you brought them up differently? Thanks?
AIBU?
to ask to what extent your DC conform to gender stereotypes
deliverdaniel · 24/09/2017 23:18
I do feel that I let the side down a bit by neither of my sons ever getting to wear a tutu. 
They chose their clothes themselves from quite a young age and it was all fairly normal stuff as far as boys go. Shorts/trousers and t shirts.
Dd1 (5) would what you would call a 'typical girl' I suppose. She loves pink, princesses and dresses. But she's also taken a liking to super heroes, especially the tv show PJ Masks. And today made a 'robot arm' thingy out of thin card.
Dd2 (2) is much more physically strong than dd was at this age. Loves vehicles and climbing. Her personality is also totally different. But she also likes putting on things from the dressing up box and 'drawing' (scribbling).
They both love the Duplo box and things like Kinetic Sand. I try to encourage a wide variety of toys, particularly STEM toys. I'm trying to raise them with the idea that toys are toys rather than girls toys and boys toys and that they shouldn't restrict themselves to certain toys because of they are girls. It's hard when there's a sea of pink and blue marketing everywhere though. (Nothing against pink or blue it just gets a bit much)
Dd1 is 17 and at university studying a STEM subject (she took dance classes and taught dance pt, as well as life guarding. Not a particularly girly girl and make-up strictly for performance only - people who claim dance is girly have never actually lived with a honking teen that trains and sweats for hours a day)
Ds1 is 15 and a math genius, but was essentially raised in a tutu and was breastfeeding his dolls by two. Despite being said math genius, he thinks he will go performing arts. It is a complete waste, but I'm letting him make his own mind up.
Dd2 is 14 and wears black and grey, and a baseball cap. She lost her mind when she started menstruating. She has a disability and is an adaptive ski racer. I assume that she will move through the 'everything girly is bloody awful' stage and it will even out. Or she will dress like Kevin the teenager forever. Whatever.
If you haven't read 'Cinderella ate my daughter', you should. Clearly mine are stuck in a susan faludi backlash, but dd1 did dye her hair purple yesterday.
We are all individuals.
Two DSs. They tend to veer towards stereotypical male interests. Favourite toys are trainsets and Lego. Saying that, I played with a similar trainset but in a more of a build a track then use it to create a story about the passengers whereas they are more into the engineering and technical qualities of it. DH comes from a family of technically minded engineering types, so not that surprising, but they're also interested in my specialisms of the humanities subjects.
Their hair is on the longer side as it's what suits the texture of their hair. They favour sweatshirt cardigans for school as they are easier to put on than jumpers. My grandad wore cardigans, and was probably wearing one the day he got barred from his local in his 80s 
. DS2 still likes brightly coloured nail varnish, sadly DS1 was totally put off after another boy called him a girl when they were 5. DS1 seems aware that as a boy, he's in the minority at gymnastics which is a shame as it's doing a lot for his physical skills and confidence.
I've tried to give them access to a range of toys such as dolls, prams and kitchens which DS1 has a mild interest in. DS2 is more into babies and cuddly toys. He's more expressive emotionally.
Sometimes they surprise me like their My Little Pony fest earlier this year. Generally though, they do have a lot of "masculine" interests and need a lot of physical outlet (although their attention span for sitting and concentrating is good).
The problem is that in the absence of daughters, I can't vouch for how I parent them based on gender. I try to keep developing their interests and weaker areas as individuals, but it's hard to separate that from gender stereotypes. I hope I don't shut down choices and interests purely because they are male.
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