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AIBU?

To think you leave outside, outside

53 replies

RoderickRules · 24/09/2017 19:13

Car crash over the road today, DP leaps up and looks out of the window, shouts 'crash', and stood at the window looking out.

There were at least 7/8 people on the scene, on mobile phones, neighbours (from opposite side of the street where crash was) out in the street, attending to situation.

DP hurries out, and generally gets in the middle of what's happening, moving driver from car and into recovery position/takes over.
Ends up liasing with ambulance/police etc.

AIBU to think it's none of our business, the situation was being attended to, and we should leave outside, outside.

Felt like extreme rubbernecking to me, but I am prepared to be told IABU.

OP posts:
Bubblysqueak · 24/09/2017 19:15

Yabu we were in an accident and the people who witnessed it called emergency services and went into shock. It took others to help as well.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 24/09/2017 19:16

I'm not sure he should have moved the person from the car, should he?

I think he was trying to help, though - would you really just leave it to others?

Soubriquet · 24/09/2017 19:18

It depends

If there are people there helping, more helpers can actually hinder the situation

However in this case, it sounds like your dh knew what to do and was helping

GeillisTheWitch · 24/09/2017 19:20

Does he have actual medical training? If not, he definitely shouldn't be moving injured people around.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 24/09/2017 19:20

You should NEVER move a Casualty from a car to put them in the recovery position... Is your DH a paramedic? A doctor? A nurse? Does he have even a basic first aid qualification? Thought not... Just hope he hasn't severed someone's spine... This actually happened to a lad I know, crashed his car and a well-meaning but ultimately foolish passerby removed him from the car 'in case it blew up'. He's been a wheelchair user ever since....

MoonfaceAndSilky · 24/09/2017 19:23

I'm no Florence Nightingale but even I know you're not supposed to move them Shock

SupermanStoleMyPants · 24/09/2017 19:26

Never move someone from a vehicle after a crash unless their life is in immediate danger!

TammySwansonTwo · 24/09/2017 19:29

I had quite a lot of first aid training and I would never move someone from a car unless the car appeared to be at serious risk of catching fire (fuel pouring out, smoke etc), unless I was told to do so by the call handler because a need for CPR is the biggest threat.

Having said that, I would always go and see if I could be of any help. I've come across scenes where there are loads of people but no one is really helping. The more people, the less likely bystanders are to do anything sadly.

My husband is very much a "don't get involved" person whereas I am too far the other way - I once was hospitalised after stopping a group of teenage girls harassing an elderly vulnerable lady, and my husband had to physically stop me from running towards a fire in the other side of our building as everyone thought a child was trapped in there. I know logically it would have been idiotic to go in there but I'm too empathetic and logic disappears a bit - don't think I'd even consider it now I have kids though.

AuntLydia · 24/09/2017 19:30

Leave outside, outside seems an odd reason not to get involved on its own. Presumably you would have jumped in to help if nobody else was there right? It reads like he should have stayed out of it because there were plenty of other people helping. We had a similar situation outside our house and DH rushed out but got out the way when he realised an off duty nurse was there and had it under control.

LakieLady · 24/09/2017 19:33

I'd have gone out just in case there was anything useful I could do, or anything they needed, eg blankets, tea towels for improvised dressings or even just sweet tea for the shocked but unhurt.

I'd never, ever, move a casualty though.

Crumbs1 · 24/09/2017 19:34

Of course you go and help in whatever way you are competent to do so. If someone had fallen off their cycle and broken their phone surely you'd help them up and let them use your landline?
If someone's broken down in winter would you not make them a cup of tea and let them wait in the dry/warm until the recovery arrived?
Can't believe you think you should ignore it.

RoderickRules · 24/09/2017 19:39

If no one was there, I would go over and do what I could.
Plenty of people were on the scene.
The bonnet of the car was smoking, but (like others) I thought the advice was to never move an injured person (unless pulling them clear)

Dp is a first aider at work.
No specialist.

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 24/09/2017 19:41

This attitude frustrates me. I intervened in a DV situation where a very young baby was involved. A lot of people said I should have left it, none of my business. I say that attitude contributes to DV as everyone is too busy to care or do anything to prevent it.

hidinginthenightgarden · 24/09/2017 19:43

Pretty sure you can move someone if you think the car is about to set on fire Hmm. You would do less harm than them burning in front of you.

NerrSnerr · 24/09/2017 19:46

To be fair none of us know if we would have moved the driver as we weren't there. There are lots of situations- if it's unsafe in the car, if the person is demanding to get themselves out etc.

Redglitter · 24/09/2017 19:46

I think if the car was smoking then moving them probably was on balance the right thing to do. At least he went out and actually helped rather than stood around

Leaving outside outside seems a very peculiar way to think

NerrSnerr · 24/09/2017 19:47

I would have moved them if the bonnet was smoking- a car can go up in flames really quickly.

Willswife · 24/09/2017 19:47

I would always go and see if anything was needed. The people that witnessed the accident can also need help sometimes if they go into shock.

I certainly wouldn't condemn my OH for trying to help (although agree with others about moving a casualty).

LadyBitterSparkles · 24/09/2017 19:51
NerrSnerr · 24/09/2017 19:51

Lady I was going to say about bystander apathy (reminds me of a level psychology!)

BoomBoomsCousin · 24/09/2017 19:57

YABU. I don't know if your DP's actions were the best way to handle what was happening or not (smoking engine doesn't sound good, but I guess it would depend), but going over to help is not rubbernecking. That's when you're just a bystander. Ignoring people in need of help is not the way to live in or build a kind society. It's good to have the presence of mind and humility to be able to tell when you're beginning to get in the way, but it sounds like your DH is a good natural leader.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 24/09/2017 19:57

YABU, it's important that everyone who can help, does.

However, he shouldn't have moved the casualty unless they were actively in cardiac arrest, or there was imminent danger to the casualty (fire, large amounts of smoke etc).

Iggi999 · 24/09/2017 20:00

A trained first aided is exactly the kind of person I'd like if I had a car crash (well, in a list that started with paramedic, doctor and nurse, first aided would be next!))
He didn't just rubberneck, did he, he was trying to help. Maybe you should be proud of him instead.

Celticlassie · 24/09/2017 20:01

If a casualty is unconscious it is essential that they are put into the recovery position, which means taking them out of the vehicle if necessary.

Birdsgottafly · 24/09/2017 20:06

What if you saw someone throw 'acid' over someone, as has hapyagain. Would you not go out with water and bring them in?

You should be ashamed of yourself. You are in a house with Water/Blankets etc at your disposal. Whereas a passer by doesn't.

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