To put the entire text history online

[Katyjane12]

Hi MN, I have had an insane two days. The guy I have been seeing on and off for two years has been lying to me the entire time. He has a girlfriend (of three years!) which I discovered yesterday by doing some cyber supersleuthing. I found her Facebook page and photos of them together - then her email address - they are both actors. I emailed her and asked if he was her girlfriend - she wrote back and said yes and asked who I was. I told her I had met him online two years ago - she thought i might have the wrong guy so I sent her screenshots of a couple of texts and one has a nude photo of him. She asked me to call her and I did - we spoke for 45 minutes - it was upsetting for the both of us but I was as honest as I could be. I sent her some more texts and said to contact if she needed anything else or to ask me anything. He since blocked me on whatsapp but I have 7 months of texts from him. He called this morning and I recorded the call - he said he would be honest with me if we would just have phone sex as he needed to get his head straight - no joke. I sent the recording of the call to her - it has him saying he doesn't want to be with her and wanking to climax. She has written back to me saying it's not him, that it's a bad accent. He's completely screwed with my head - I knew there was something very wrong but this is beyond. I don't know what to do - just leave them to it? I feel that he may be insane.

[Rachie1973]

Don't put it online. It just screams desperate.

Walk away and be glad you're shot of him.

[QOD]

Pick up your pride and walk away

He’s a wanker —literally— and if he were to leave her, you’ll be her in 2 years

[Namechangetempissue]

Just block them both, delete all numbers and move on. I don't understand why you are so set on sending more evidence? You have already spoken to his poor girlfriend -now leave her alone to make her own decisions about her future.

[Katyjane12]

For clarity - I was dating him casually when we first met and have had two relationships since meeting him. In between he and I have been 'back together' although not an actual couple - I thought this time things were going in that direction. He said he loved me but has wanted to take things slowly - that I had hurt him going out with other men (even though we were never a couple). He has lied and lied whenever I've asked him if he is dating anyone else.

[Yukbuck]

What are you going to gain by posting it online? There's just no need.
I'm really sorry this has happened.. you must be heartbroken. But take the moral high ground and walk away. You've told his girlfriend so it's now up to her whether she stays with him or not.

[Katyjane12]

That is what i will do - today i am hurting and haven't slept and still feel very invested

[Winteriscomingneedmorewood]

Walk away. . She will likely give him enough grief for the both of you. .

[dantdmistedious]

Absolutely don't do that! Walk away.

[AlpacasPackOwls]

Just walk away. I'm not sure what else you think you should do.

[Katyjane12]

Thank you yuk back - I am really upset - I thought I would feel better knowing the truth but I just feel ill

[Katyjane12]

She said he is very persuasive - he is denying it all

[ArsenicNLace]

No just leave it and move on.

You've told her and she's made her choice.

He will continue to do what he does and she will waste her life continuing to be with him.

Just leave it otherwise you will be painted as a delusional bunny boiler. It wouldn't surprise me if they didn't involve the Police to warn you about 'harassment'. He will be keen to do that to strengthen his story that you're 'mad' and she will see it as proof positive he's telling the truth & you're not.

[PennyDreadfull]

Why the hell did you have phone sex with him?!

[BelindaBlinked]

You've done what you can, time to step back and leave them to it.

[MrsJamesAspey]

As other have said walk away, you've told her and made her aware, it's not your duty to prove it to her.

I told a friend years ago that her bf was cheating, she told him what I'd said and stayed with him. 18 months later they split up and she found out he'd been cheating with loads of women throughout their relationship, and complained to me that no one had told her

[jaseyraex]

Definitely do not post it online. If there's a nude photo in there he can cry revenge porn and that's just not worth it! Block them both, delete all remnants of this guy and move on. You let the girl know what was going in, if she stays then that's her dumb choice. But you can let it go and find someone who actually wants to be with you and only you!

[SendintheArdwolves]

Hang on...so if you have an actual recording of him wanking to climax, then you went along with his phone sex suggestion this morning?

Don't do that again - you are basically doing the Pick-Me dance for someone who is too cheap to pay for a phone sex-line.

You have given the other woman all the info. She does believe you, deep down, but right now, it is too painful to accept, so she has chosen to act as if she believes his lies.

You have done all you can. You need to walk away, block all contact, never speak, text or email this man ever again.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Leave 'em to it and walk away.
You've done the decent thing and alerted her to the situation - now it's up to her whether she wants to believe him or not. If she chooses to believe his lies, then that's down to her - but YOU don't have to accept his duplicity any more.

Walk away, head up, and find someone else who is a decent human, not this waste of skin.

[Creambun2]

why did you have phone sex with him?

[GrumpyMcGrumpFace]

you don't need this! Walk away, have nothing more to do with it.

[BicyclesInBejing]

Only if you want to be in the Daily Mail.

[Blueemeraldagain]

Pick up your pride and walk away

This. It is hard to see the big picture when you are inside it and hurting so much but you will be so glad you did in a few weeks time.

[MehMehAndMeh]

Walk away. If she can deny the recording she would deny it was him if she walked in on the pair of you having sex.
He's an arsehole you can do without. Unfortunately she has been sucked into its black hole and only she can dig her way out of it. I suspect she has years of it wasn't him ahead of her.

[Katyjane12]

Thanks all! I'm just tired and it's all been very overwhelming and confusing. I didn't participate in the phone sex - it was more a going down memory lane on his part. At the end he said you don't wan to be with me anymore and hung up. I don't have any responsibility to her I know - am involved in something I do not want to be - I feel sorry for her and know if I feel this badly and am not that invested then she will be 100 times worse. And he is a fantastic liar and manipulator. Thanks all again for your thoughts.