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What would you do? Woman makes drinks

(187 Posts)
Memyselfandiiiiii Fri 22-Sep-17 14:24:32

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but this fills me with rage everyone and I don't know what to do about it.

In work meetings I'm often the only woman, but am equally well qualified as the male participants, albeit younger. So why is it that every single time the CEO says ' X will make the drinks, just tell her what you'd like '. Maybe I'm too easy to wind up but I feel absolutely raging every time. What would you do/say?

MyBrilliantDisguise Fri 22-Sep-17 14:25:40

I think you have to say this to him before the meeting. I wouldn't show him up at the meeting itself, but would certainly point it out to him. Does he have a daughter who works?

Witsender Fri 22-Sep-17 14:26:28

In the past I have just said something along the lines of "ooooh, actually I think I was on drinks duty last time, it must be A's turn/someone else this time".

MiddleClassProblem Fri 22-Sep-17 14:27:25

What Witsender said

Witsender Fri 22-Sep-17 14:27:31

Yanbu to be annoyed, it used to drive me up the wall. As did being the one always asked to take the minutes, ring for lunch, book tables for dinner etc.

Whatthefoxgoingon Fri 22-Sep-17 14:28:09

That's fucking outrageous.

I'd volunteer someone else to make the drinks next time. Extra points if you volunteer the CEO wink

KimmySchmidt1 Fri 22-Sep-17 14:28:44

I find smooth and breezy is the best way - just say "oh I'm sure it must be x's turn this time". or if you want to avoid showing him up in front of clients or something just take him aside afterwards and say 'do you mind if x and I decide between us who makes the tea as I dont like always being volunteered." that way it looks like you are taking it off his plate to remember not to ask you. Seems a bizarre little detail for him to focussing on "leading" on anyway.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Fri 22-Sep-17 14:28:56

I've never been asked like this,but I'd suggest you are polite but assertive, eg
Oh, I think it's x's turn, I made them last time - or better -
Certainly (person who nominated you), why don't you give me a hand?

WellThisIsShit Fri 22-Sep-17 14:28:59

Are your ranks equal as well as how well qualified you are? In my experience it's the job role and not qualifications that form the internal hierarchy on a company.

If your ranks are the same, and length of time at that level, then I'd push back and point out politely that it's someone else's turn now.

oldlaundbooth Fri 22-Sep-17 14:29:29

Totally ridiculous.

I'd say half jokingly that I'm not the only one capable of making drinks!?!

ChelleDawg2020 Fri 22-Sep-17 14:30:26

Maybe you make the drinks well? Try serving up dishwater and you won't get asked again.

Seriously, some people can fuck up black instant coffee - so if the CEO knows someone is capable, that they like their coffee, then they will be more likely to ask them to make it next time.

It's not automatically "because you're the woman".

Scrowy Fri 22-Sep-17 14:30:47

I would just make them really really badly. Undrinkable.

That's what men usually do to get out of shit like this.

FlandersRocks Fri 22-Sep-17 14:30:54

Albeit younger you say - are you the least experienced? It might have nothing to do with sex.

I've known plenty of offices where the most junior staff member picks up the tea and coffee duties.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Fri 22-Sep-17 14:30:59

Is it not X's place to to have her own voice?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Fri 22-Sep-17 14:31:04

OMG, that's. Aking myteeth itch. I agree with breezy (angry) "I think it's someone else's turn now".

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Fri 22-Sep-17 14:31:31

Im sorry I misread the post

Scrowy Fri 22-Sep-17 14:33:03

Looks like we agree Chelle except for it's not automatically "because you're the woman".

it's totally because she is a woman, it might not be a conscious decision but that will be the reason.

SummerRoberts Fri 22-Sep-17 14:34:57

So is your job role the same as all the men? Or something different? Because I'm admin support to a team of people that I am also equally qualified to, but I actually have a different job and would be expected to make drinks and set up the meeting.

BillBrysonsBeard Fri 22-Sep-17 14:43:04

Agree with Witsenders response, breezy and confident.

RhiannonOHara Fri 22-Sep-17 14:43:56

Outrageous. I'd say 'Oh no, I did drinks last time.' With a smile, but a frosty one. But then again I don't much care about causing offence or an 'atmosphere'.

Witchend Fri 22-Sep-17 14:48:39

I think the same person does tend to make drink as you fall very quickly into the habit.
We have different people in different days and some will always get drinks, and some won't. Thing is if I know they usually offer around the time I would often I'll leave it, or some I know hate doing drinks so I'll offer so it's kind of self fulfilling.

sporadicrains Fri 22-Sep-17 14:49:42

Even if you are technically the most junior person, other people in the meeting (especially visitors) might not necessarily know that, and the boss asking you to make the drinks every time reinforces the gender stereotype that getting the coffee and biscuits is a woman's job. It might also infer that the CEO or the company ethos is sexist.

Perhaps you could point that out to him (I assume the CEO is a man) before the meeting?

SusanTheGentle Fri 22-Sep-17 14:50:30

If it's client facing, raise objections first, if it's not, then the polite smile and "no, it's definitely not my turn."

It is totally sexist unless this is a drip feed and X is actually the receptionist but has the same qualification (which is potenitally a whole other form of sexism but not this one).

GeorgeTheHamster Fri 22-Sep-17 14:51:12

Say "Oh no, I won't be having a drink thanks".

See if he has the brass neck to send you to the kitchen where as a woman you belong then.

missyB1 Fri 22-Sep-17 14:52:11

Whats rank got to do with it? Are people of a senior rank incapable of making drinks? I doubt its written into OP's contract that she is responsible for all drinks at meetings.

Op as others have said big smile but firm tone "oh i think this time someone else can have that honour".

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