I’m mid 30’s. Parents divorced when I was in my teens due my dad having an affair. My dad subsequently married OW. My siblings and I must have met her the first time when I was about 17 because we thought if they were going to keep being together, we might as well get it out in the open and try and move forward. I really regret making it so easy for them now.
Since then I have very rarely seen my dad without his new wife there. She literally comes to everything. She’s not got kids of her own and is pretty awkward around mine who are 10 months and 2.
I don’t really like his wife but have always been really kind for my dads sake (which has really upset my mum who is a really brilliant mother.) I always send thoughtful birthday gifts, help when we go to their house, talk to her, seem interested etc. I’ve done my best in what’s felt like tricky circumstances.
Is it normal and acceptable that I never see my dad without this woman (who I never invited into my life and has caused my siblings and I so much misery) being there? I don’t want her there every time - I would just like the odd visit with just my dad so I don’t have to be on best behaviour with this woman who isn’t my family and is so different to anyone else I would choose to be around. It’s like being with a colleague.
Step-parents, do you do this? Does it feel like an ok thing to never allow your partners children to see them without you being there? I’m just interested if other adult children feel this.
I’ve never spoken to my dad about this. He would go all silent and be really ‘hurt’ by it and it would probably be more weird. I’m currently just avoiding seeing them at all.
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To never see my dad without his wife there?
85 replies
lizziejs · 22/09/2017 14:07
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