Secondary school y7 wobbles-normal?

[colourdilemma]

Dd1 has just gone to secondary school. Weeks one and two-best thing ever, friends, no probs. Week three - anxious about everything and apparently some kids being mean.
AIBU to think it might be normal to have a wobble as term progresses without it meaning the whole thing's a disaster?

[LoafEater]

I work in welfare at a secondary and it's totally normal. The initial shine and excitement has worn off and reality bites!

I've loads of year 7's in my office this week just feeling a bit overwhelmed and wobbly chinned. I find a hot chocolate and a biscuit helps! There are always lots of bugs going around at the start of term aswell.

They are all wrecked by half term but usually come back after with renewed vigour and take things more in their stride. They have to remember so many new things/faces/places/names it can get a bit overwhelming bless em.

[britbat23]

First few weeks the novelty value is enough to distract from the scary stuff.

Then the teachers start being stricter, the novelty wears off, and it gets tougher.

Be easier by half term.

[Stoptherideiwannagetoff]

OP I feel your pain - this is mine today, I've come home to emotion central out of nowhere. Glad to hear it's not just over sensitivity! Hold hard, fingers crossed for improvement over the next few weeks!

[TheSnowFairy]

Yep, I also work in a secondary school and this is completely normal.

Am sure she'll be fine

[Ebony69]

I can absolutely identify with this. Last night my Y7 DD, after initially enjoying the school, shed a tear over missing her old primary school and friends. I think that the realisation that things will never be the same had finally hit her.

[colourdilemma]

And breeeeeathe! Glad it isn't just us. Got to say, the school are being lovely. They rang to say she wasn't feeling too well and could I collect her. When I did, as soon as she was in the car, it all flooded out and I rang student services.

I was highly apologetic and didn't want to be all "over anxious parent who hasn't quite adjusted to secondary yet" but also, I thought the being ill might have had an anxious base. They were lovely and we decided that she would try ignoring the couple of (also trying to adapt to secondary school) kids causing her grief, but know that she could also go to get the equivalent of the choc biscuit treatment described above if it got too much. Obviously, if it escalates or ignoring/shrugging off doesn't work then that's different.

I don't want to belittle in the slightest how the kids who are being mean are making her feel, but I also want her to learn skills to deal with them too. They were spoken to and did it again and my gut feeling is that if she can stand up to it she'll be better off.

Roll on half term and a bit more settling in!

Sorry for long splurge! And big to you heroes who are looking after year sevens. Before the wobble, I had sent a lovely email to say thank you to school for settling them in so well. I want to send another one but don't want to be "that parent who says thank you for breathing"!!!

[colourdilemma]

And to all of us parents of year sevens!!!!

[LoafEater]

Yes its a huge adjustment for first time Y7 parents too! You are so used to knowing all the teachers and parents and the way things run. I remember when my youngest started high school, I had not stepped foot in a school for 25 years and I was totally overwhelmed aswell. Me and DS were both in tears at week 3!

The school I work with are brilliant at giving new parent loads and loads of info, and we spend a lot of time on the phone answering the same questions, which is totally ok as most parents are really lovley.

Another thing to watch out for that I've noticed is y7 girls starting their periods in the first few months of high school.

I love the little year 7's and in our school I love seeing the way the enormous six foot y11 lads are so sweet to them too. I had a little girl in this week who was a bit tearful. While talking with her, some giant boys came in and their booming voices all rabbiting on at once frightened the life out of her. I told them to be quiet as they were upsetting her and every one of them said sorry to her, high fived her and offered her some of their crisps.

School is a nice place on the whole, and people treat each other nicely - despite what your teenager tells you!

[HighwayDragon1]

I had dealt with one crying y10 and two sobbing y9s by 9am today. It's totally normal, staff are feeling it too, if that makes you feel better?

[colourdilemma]

You'd think I'd be prepped for this-I'm a teacher (primary though) and dh is a secondary deputy!

What I do find different and good is that, although the contact isn't there daily with teaching staff and the students see more members of staff, there is a dedicated team for student support. I know that if all the year sevens wobbled at once, there wouldn't be enough tissues to go round, but I think it's helpful that the staff whose job it is to look after the children's wobbles and welfare aren't all the ones that are there to teach too.

Dd has said her tutor is a bit frosty but, knowing there are others around to offer support is helpful.

[colourdilemma]

Good point about periods-I'm pretty sure dd is on the cusp.