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To think I can recover from this perculiar type of loneliness?

(20 Posts)
Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 15:19:02

Feeling quite lonely at the moment and have realised that all my life I have craved the companionship of other women. In a sisterly or motherly fashion. I would love to live with some girls or a mother figure I admire and respect and share things, swap tips on cooking, hair, thoughts on how to live a meaningful life. I feel a bit lost and as though I've always had this missing from my life. I often have a fantasy of living in a beautiful shared flat with female celebs I admire and sharing the closeness of living with or near those people.

I am happily married (I promise!) and have one gorgeous kid.

Has anyone ever recovered from this type of loneliness?

Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 15:20:17

Oops, sorry for crap spelling of peculiar in the title

MrsPicklesonSmythe Thu 21-Sep-17 15:29:43

I can understand this. I don't have a great relationship with my mum and sister and I'm very much a 'girl's girl' I prefer the company of women to men. I become quite unhappy if I'm not around my friends enough.
I don't think you can 'recover' from it if it's something you actually need. Do you have close friends?

peachgreen Thu 21-Sep-17 15:33:20

I understand how you feel. I've always lived quite far away from my best friend and have struggled to establish the same relationship with anyone local to me. I find it quite tough, and am nervous about it in the run up to giving birth.

Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 15:34:49

I do have close friends. I would like to see some of them more, but due to life/busy-ness (theirs and mine) it's not always possible to see them loads. I'd say I say I see at least one of my friends once a week for a meet up.

I have never had a good relationship with my Mum, and I'm an only child. I'm a stay at home mum, so I don't have the companionship that working with collegues can sometimes bring.

FineAsWeAre Thu 21-Sep-17 15:38:41

I can relate. I don't speak to my mum and I've no other really close female relatives. I have friends but don't see them that regularly and it's usually just play dates with the kids or a meal with partners. I don't have that closeness of them just popping round for a cuppa and a chat and I do feel envious of my friends who have a 'best' friend or a really tight-knit group.

Notearsgoodbye Thu 21-Sep-17 15:40:23

I know someone with five sisters and always thought how lovely that would be.

Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 15:50:39

I guess in day to day modern life, its not something that is really within reach, is it? We all have our 'nuclear family' set up and opportunities to get really close to other women just don't really come up, do they? Unless you have it already from a family that you grew up with, I dont think its possible to cultivate as a grown up, from scratch.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Thu 21-Sep-17 15:53:38

I have no friends or relatives except dh and dc.
It is a weird type of loneliness..

forikol Thu 21-Sep-17 15:59:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 21-Sep-17 16:03:34

I know exactly what I mean. This might sound a bit weird but have you tried watching some lifestyle related YouTube videos? Ones I would recommend are:

Lisa Eldridge
Sophie Shohet
Nail Career Education

And various YouTubers who do meal planning/ this week's family meals videos/ shopping hauls

Laiste Thu 21-Sep-17 16:14:03

You are making sense OP. I am an only child and was never close to my mum. I had two or three close girly friendships through school and for the first couple of years after i left school through work. They were very important to me. Once i fell preg with DC1 and left full time work i lost touch with my close friends and for a while felt just as you do now.

My own circ.s were improved once i went back to work and made a couple of friends again. Being a SAHM again now to DD4 i'm back in that situation re:friends. Luckily 3 of my DDs are late teens or over and i am close to them. Two still live at home so our house is quite full of women Not so much fun when we all come on at once.

Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 16:14:56

Doesn't sound wierd at all - I'm always up for helping myself in anyway I can. Thanks, will check those out x

hattyhighlighter Thu 21-Sep-17 16:29:55

It's never too late to make new female friends OP - how about a female organisation like the W.I with women of all ages?

teaandtoast Thu 21-Sep-17 16:43:16

How about joining the Soroptimist International women's group?

PeanutButterIsEverything Thu 21-Sep-17 16:55:49

I feel quite lonely in this way at the moment. One young DC, a very introverted, non social DH and the only female friends I have are at different stages in their lives, either older DCs or none at all. I'm close to my mum but not in a 'put the world to rights over a glass of wine' type way. My NCT group are friendly but too far scattered and too busy to really get close.

I took DS to the park at the weekend and there was a group of parents all there together, chatting and watching their DCs play. I just wanted to cry as I would dearly love a group of friends like that.

Sorry OP I've made this about me! But I know how you feel and I'm not sure what to do about it either sad

balsamicbarbara Thu 21-Sep-17 16:57:59

I know exactly what you mean. I think the nuclear family is overrated. It would be much nicer to live in a slightly larger group of people. I think this is where society is going to have to head, to be honest, if people want to be able to afford to live in certain areas. A few "normal" families living in a larger shared space with shared facilities and a housekeeper/similar.

Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 17:12:57

Thanks everyone and sympathies to those feeling the same too xx

Our local WI has a great looking group. Hopefully one day when DH doesn't work such long hours I'll be able to commit to joining something like that. I haven't heard of that other group, and will Google, thanks for the recommendation x

Willdoublecheck Thu 21-Sep-17 17:14:17

I would enjoy that living situation, Balsamic

BrightonMum36 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:39:52

Place marking

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