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To be pissed off with the flight time DH chose?

(357 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:42:35

A few months ago I went on holiday with DH and DS who had just turned 3 years old.

My husband is the sort of person who will look to save money in any way he can and as a result he booked really stupid flight times (in relation to having a 3 year old) because they were cheaper.

Our flight out was at 9pm and due to flight length and transfers we didn't get to our hotel at what would have been almost 3am in U.K. time. Our DS hadn't been able to sleep at all on the flight or transfer which meant by the time he got to bed at the hotel he'd been awake for over 21 hours. He was obviously absolutely exhausted (as was I) and it was a complete nightmare and the first day of the holiday was a complete write off as DS practically slept all day.

Anyway - me and DH agreed that as it had been so difficult and unfair to DS we would always book practical flight times in future whilst DS was young, even if it does cost a bit more.

However, yesterday DH told me he'd booked us a holiday as a surprise and that he'd gotten it really cheap. I knew what that meant and so I asked about flight times and the flight out means we'd have to get DS out of bed at 2.30am and then drag him around an airport for hours and then deal with him on flights and transfers where he probably won't be able to sleep again. This will mean that by the time we get to the hotel DS will only have had 7 hours sleep in the space of about 27 hours, involving a 2.30am wake-up.

DH thought his idea was great because it meant we'd get the whole first day of the holiday, which I pointed out would just be spent with us all, especially DS, catching up on sleep.

Of course it was lovely DH had booked this holiday but he knows I'm annoyed with the flight times especially since he'd previously agreed we always fly hours that weren't disruptive.

When I asked him why he'd got such silly flight times again and why couldn't he have just got a later one for DS's sake, he said it's because the flights he'd booked had saved him about £75. I personally don't think the hassle of a stupidly early flight is worth saving £75 for especially when it's going to have such a horrible effect on DS. Even taking DS out the picture it means I'll only get about 4 hours sleep in the space of 27 and that's just not enough for me.

DH reckons that as he's the one driving to the airport the stupidly early rise and how little sleep we're all going to get shouldn't be an issue as the early flight only really affects him.... hmm

AIBU to be annoyed?

I'm trying not to show my annoyance and since our initial conversation about the holiday I haven't mentioned the flights because I don't want DH to think I'm not grateful, but inside I feel pissed off.

rjay123 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:45:33


Runningpear Thu 21-Sep-17 13:46:11

Yes I would be pissed off too. He hasn't listened to you or taken your point into account at all. It affects all of you too, not just him.
£75 saving is not worth a tired cranky child on a flight. I wouldn't even want to get out of bed at 2.30am with my older kids.

moutonfou Thu 21-Sep-17 13:46:37

YANBU since it's something you've discussed before and only £75 difference.

We just went on a holiday with early flights out and late flights back - great, you get your whole first day and your whole last day. But like you say it's false economy - you can't really enjoy first day because you're so tired, and you can't really enjoy last day because you have all the stress of leaving (packing, checking out, putting your luggage somewhere since you have no hotel room) hanging over you.

catgirl1976 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:47:34


It's one night out of the year and it's not that bad. You're going on holiday so plenty of time to relax

Also - why not book things yourself if it matters that much?

MamaLazarou Thu 21-Sep-17 13:48:25

He sounds very inconsiderate. We usually stay in an airport hotel the night before if we have a v early flight. Would rather negate the £75 saving though...

TriJo Thu 21-Sep-17 13:49:39

YANBU - I'd happily pay an extra £75 for more reasonable flight times (also to avoid certain airlines but that's a whole other matter!). Penny wise, pound foolish.

Shoxfordian Thu 21-Sep-17 13:50:05

As you'd discussed it before, he shouldn't be completely ignoring you about early flights

See if you can change them

thecatsthecats Thu 21-Sep-17 13:51:15

Would the saved £75 go a long way to covering an airport hotel for a later get up?

Since you'd already talked about this, YADNBU, especially as £75 isn't a substantial saving really.

FusionChefGeoff Thu 21-Sep-17 13:51:54

I'd be pissed off.

But can you get car packed night before and then you get up and get dressed really quietly then Bundle DS into car still in PJs with a duvet so he gets some more sleep??

Sunnydaysrock Thu 21-Sep-17 13:52:10

I would be so annoyed to OP. Flight times are important as they do have a knock on effect to your holiday. If the flights were hundreds cheaper fair enough, but £75 is definitely not worth it. I understand you not saying anything else, I've felt like this before when DH does something nice and I go and pick fault, then feel horrible. But is there any chance of changing flights. He's clearly crazy to say it'll only effect him and possibly feeling defensive as he forgot how rubbish it was on the last holiday.

Brittbugs80 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:54:00

Are you in the states? And how long is the second flight? We always go for the early morning flights so we usually leave him about 2am. Get to airport for 230 flight 430 or 530. If it's within Europe it gives us the Saturday there and the States, it gives us the afternoon.

I always feel like it's a waste of a day when you travel during sociable hours though so I'd probably do what your husband does

TinyTear Thu 21-Sep-17 13:54:36

ahrgh we are the same, prefer paying for better times after losing lots of sleep with an early Madeira flight, pre-children...

can your DS be transferred asleep from bed to car? then only wake at the airport?

Writerwannabe83 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:55:24

The airport is only a 45 minute drive away so having an overnight stop in the hotel airport would be pretty pointless.

DH has already told me that we can all sleep in the car....great, a 30 minute kip and we'll be raring to go hmm

iseenodust Thu 21-Sep-17 13:56:30

Often a hotel airport for one night with car parking is cheaper than just parking. I would be after that as the compromise.

iseenodust Thu 21-Sep-17 13:57:02

x-post !

chitofftheshovel Thu 21-Sep-17 13:57:41

Book yourself an alternative flight, giving you a good nights sleep and landing at a reasonable hour. Let DH do all the arranging of bags packed, connections arranged, snacks and entertainment.

Arrive fresh faced and ready for a holiday, if they're still asleep let them get on with it, go off and sight see. Job done, he might reanalyse his booking system in the future.

catgirl1976 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:58:01

I honestly don't get the issue

One night of the year you have to get up, do a 45 min drive, check into an airport and then go on holiday. You can sleep on the plane and if you are arriving early have a quick cat nap when you arrive and get more time at your destination. How long are your flights and transfers?

I get you'd agreed and he's gone against that so I can see why you are a bit annoyed but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

Just book the holidays yourself from now on and suck this one up.

catgirl1976 Thu 21-Sep-17 13:58:30

Oh and if DS is a nightmare due to lack of sleep make sure you make DH deal with him while you have a nap since he booked the flights smile

overstuffedburitto Thu 21-Sep-17 13:59:49

I always calculate the cost of the holiday per day with different flight times and add in the accommodation. E.g. The dearer flight with good times works out at £200 pp per day and cheaper £100 then it is prob worth it - if it's less than £20 a day and you are writing off a day to catch up it isn't.

Bubwiser Thu 21-Sep-17 13:59:56

Same as OP, would happily pay more money for decent flight times. I usually don't pick outbound flights before 11am, and inbound before 2pm. It is a lovely surprise though. My DH would never try that with me.

Ttbb Thu 21-Sep-17 14:03:54

Just tell him to cancel-that isn't really a holiday if you end up more tired afterwards is it?

Writerwannabe83 Thu 21-Sep-17 14:06:02

Book yourself an alternative flight, giving you a good nights sleep and landing at a reasonable hour

grin Don't tempt me!!!!

Faithless12 Thu 21-Sep-17 14:06:05

Book a room at a hotel near/in the airport. I only go away if I can do that now.

IHateUncleJamie Thu 21-Sep-17 14:14:29

Can you change the flights?

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