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AIBU?

To put my dog down...

149 replies

Kittysparks1 · 21/09/2017 11:20

I'm so sorry about this long post.
I have a dog who has been my best mate for 12 years. I got her at 2 years old after she was abandoned and she had not been trained in the slightest.
Everything has been fine.
About 2 years ago she suddenly started being destructive for no reason I could find. I was living at my mums at the time. She ripped up carpets, ate door frames, chewed up a whole waldrobe and coffee table. Serious destructive behaviour. I tried everything. My vet ran out of options. My mum lost it and kicked us out once her house had been destroyed.
I moved into a rented house. She had a few blips but settled down.
6 weeks ago she has switched. She has destroyed everything in this house and the landlord is selling up and I need to move out. So far I have spent soooo much money repairing things. She even ate a fucking wall.
Now this is the problem. I have not left my house for 5 weeks straight out of fear of her destroying things. Even if I pop to the shop I can guarantee to come back to carnage. She ate the back door last time I dared to leave the house.
I'm going stir crazy. I sit in doors with my baby day in day out. It's seriously affecting my mental health. I just want to go for a walk with him but when I tried to take dog out with the Pram she almost pulled it over going for another dog. I sit here all day crying looking out the window just wishing I could go outside.
I'm convinced the dog has slowly been going senile and this is the result.
Putting her down would kill me.
No one will take her on because she is aggressive with other dogs and cannot be left alone.
Do I just carry on my miserable life and wait for her to die naturally?
Wwyd?

OP posts:
flownthecoopkiwi · 21/09/2017 11:23

I'd get second opinion from another vet, even over the phone if you can't take the dog in.
This sounds serious.

MorningCuppa · 21/09/2017 11:27

I would also speak to someone and try to get to the bottom of her behaviour, if you want to go for a walk would a cage help?

CaptWentworth · 21/09/2017 11:27

Is she walked? What breed is she? My first thought would be that she isn't getting enough exercise or stimulation, you don't mention if she does? Could you afford some sessions with a behaviourist?

Ultimately what are the alternatives for an older, reactive and destructive dog? It won't be a popular answer, but in those circumstances I'd rather PTS than have her end up in a kennel for the rest of her days.

However, I wouldn't even consider it until I'd tried everything else. I.e behaviourist and some serious thought about her exercise routine.

bettytaghetti · 21/09/2017 11:30

You don't say how old your baby is. Could it be jealousy?
Could you put a muzzle on her when you go out or try crating her?

Feilin · 21/09/2017 11:30

If shes doing this when you leave its likelt seperation anxiety however if shes doing it while you are there then its probable dementia. Dogs do get dementia and its sadly very likely you will need to out her down. Talk to your vet.

kali110 · 21/09/2017 11:31

Take her to the vet!
Sounds

RedRedBluee · 21/09/2017 11:32

You don't take her for walks? There's your problem.

kali110 · 21/09/2017 11:32

Sounds like there could be something seriously wrong with the poor thing.
I've not known dementia do this ( though haven't seen it in a dog)

maxthemartian · 21/09/2017 11:33

She's twelve. I suspect that having her PTS is going to be the best option here.

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 11:35

Have you got her a dog crate , so she can be left safely? What have you done to ease her tension and anxiety ? How long is she left for ? Well she wreck things when you are home ?

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 11:37

Yup let's just put her to sleep ffs Hmm

Pringlemunchers · 21/09/2017 11:39

You say you sit there looking out the window wistfully ,I expect your dog does to. Take her out , just the two of you , muzzled if that's an issue , for really long walk.

hopelesslyaddicted · 21/09/2017 11:39

I am assuming this is a large breed given the damage?

If you are not exercising this dog (and from what you say I dont think you are) then it will be like a coiled spring waiting to get its energy/frustration out.

Did this behaviour coincide with the arrival of the baby and you not being able to take the dog out?

Notevilstepmother · 21/09/2017 11:42

Can you find someone locally to help you walk the dog and the baby. It sounds like you need another pair of hands.

Flowers

keely79 · 21/09/2017 11:56

Could you try baby in a sling so you have both hands free to control the dog - might help with the walking.

Have you tried providing her with alternatives to the house items (toys, bones, antlers) to chew on?

Is there anything that might have triggered the change in behaviour? It sounds like she had a spate of bad behaviour then was fine for a couple of years and has just got bad again? Are there any common factors?

SugarPlumLairy · 21/09/2017 11:59

I have a rescue dog, she wasn't trained, socialised, couldn't walk on a lead. She barked at the door, phone , other dogs/people etc. It took a lot to make her the dog she is today.

You've moved several times, have a young child and I suspect your dogs routine, not to mention her strong bond to you has been totally disrupted. Anxiety and boredom are more likely the fault than senility.

Can you baby wear and walk dog? Can she go to a dog walkers for a couple of hours? Many will work with you on socialisation/behavioural issues. A crate filled with toys might protect your property. Kongs filled with frozen treats, snacks hidden in paper inside loo rolls to be ripped up etc can alleviate boredom.

Your friend of 12 years deserves more than being dismissed and cast aside. I know it's hard but please exhaust all possibilities before putting her to sleep.

Good luck x

Beerwench · 21/09/2017 12:01

Is the dog getting exercise as pp's have suggested? Even though older dogs slow down they still need exercise and stimulation - as much as possible.
How old is your baby? Can you pin point the behavior change this time to the birth or anything else that changed?
Unfortunately, dogs do get dementia, mine has it. And they can be destructive with it too, mine can be. After chatting with my vet, it was decided that while she is eating, drinking, enjoying walks etc then I can cope with the odd chewed up shoe or puddle/poo on the floor. When it becomes apparent that she's suffering, miserable or the behavior becomes dangerous then it will be time.
What things have you tried so far? I understand you're probably feeling at your wits end, but a change in management can help you and the dog and ease the situation all round.
A cage or confined to one room when you need to go out, limit the damage. Do you have a way to take the dog out alone? Someone else to watch the baby? If that is limited do you have outside space? Throw a ball, play with toys even in a small yard will give the dog some stimulation.
Good luck OP Flowers

Kittysparks1 · 21/09/2017 12:02

She is 14 she is a staff and she gets walked every evening when my partner gets home. He takes her to a field lets her off and she is exercised until she can't walk anymore. She used to be full of beans but she is slow and old now.
I tried a crate, she bit her way out of it and snapped a tooth, shat everywhere and damaged the wall. This was the last time she was left alone, we had been out of the house for 40 minutes. I walked her before and put her in the crate and left with no fuss and came home to carnage.
I've tried her with a muzzle and she literally Goes nuts trying to get it off. My brother suggested I put it on her and chuck her in the garden for a coupe of hours to go nuts.
She doesn't destroy anything when I'm home. It's the moment I leave the house. I can hear her bark as I lock the door.
So far she has had many health checks in case she is in pain, vet can't find anything but put her on painkillers just incase, she has had sedatives, increased exercise. I give her just as much attention as I always have. I stuff a kong to try to keep her occupied. She gets lots of new toys (she goes through them quick!)
I can't take the dog out during the day just the two of us because social services will take my baby away.
I cannot afford a behaviour specialist but am willing to try any techniques to get this under control again.
I just want her to calm down. She was relatively good for a year but it's come back with a vengeance and I just don't know why.
I just Keep crying.
My baby is 5 weeks old so this recent bout started before he even arrived.
I love my dog so much. I can't get her put down. But what happens when I need to go back to work?

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 21/09/2017 12:05

I can't take the dog out during the day just the two of us because social services will take my baby away.

Why make such silly statements?? Of course they won't take your child away I really feel that you need to try a sling when taking the dog out to free your hands up or using a pet sitting service, putting the dog to sleep because she doesn't like being left alone is never the answer.

MatildaTheCat · 21/09/2017 12:07

With a new baby and a house move to deal with I would actually be inclined to ask the vet if they feel she's reached the end of the road.

14 is a good age and she causing you huge expense and stress and is clearly very unhappy. Its very sad but you have done your best.

BunloafAndCrumpets · 21/09/2017 12:08

Headsdown i read that statement as she can't leave the baby at home alone to take the dog out, which is quite accurate!

Beerwench · 21/09/2017 12:10

OK, read your update. Here's a few tips I was given with one of mine that worked -

Create a 'safe' space (hers is a cage with blanket over) feed in the safe place, put the dog in there and give a treat. Give things like bones, anything they can chew and knaw at. Mine actually get excited now when I put my shoes on to go to work as they get a bone, or chew or something when I leave - the idea is to make the safe place a place the dog wants to be, and has a positive association with, following that giving treats such as a bone or chew before you leave also creates positive association with you actually leaving. It took mine about 6 weeks to cotton on but now as soon as my shoes go on they're on their beds waiting for their chew or bone.

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Kittysparks1 · 21/09/2017 12:10

Sorry I was trying to inject some humour into my situation to stop myself crying.

OP posts:
BackieJerkhart · 21/09/2017 12:11

I can't take the dog out during the day just the two of us because social services will take my baby away.

Heh? Have SS threatened to take your baby away if you go outside with a dog? Do they know your baby is living with a dog? A stressed out destructive staffie? That isn't being walked all day until the evening?

CrochetBelle · 21/09/2017 12:11

It is likely the latest upset it related to the new baby.

Did you train the dog to use the crate? Surely you didn't just pop him in and leave for 40 minutes?

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