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Would if be AUBU to ask to return DP birthday hamper!

(91 Posts)
flopseyR72 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:02:38

My DP asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said make up and he agreed to go saturday to choose. I was looking forward to it. Yesterday was my birthday and he presents me with a huge hamper! Its full of food I don't even like random dark chocolate, marmalade and random jam, pate. Almond nuts!!! Yuk. I looked it up it cost £85!!! what a waste. He will probably eat some of it. I want to ask if I can return it and he buy me make up. I mean who buys a random hamper for their girlfriend. The company say they take returns. I haven't said anything to him yet.

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 21-Sep-17 10:04:31


On the basis he knew what you wanted and this isn't some thoughtful gift it's a "you will get what I choose " gift.

Lazy selfish and a waste. Send it back

Hoppinggreen Thu 21-Sep-17 10:05:37

No you wouldn't BU but I'm not sure if you can return food

Sassypants82 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:05:55

Marmalade?! Send that shit back immediately. Surely he'd be happier that his money is spent on something you'll actually like & use. Crazy present.

KimmySchmidt1 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:08:13

not at all - crap present and especially rude when he knew what you wanted. men are frequently crap at presents but it doesn't mean they can't take a bit of feedback!

WatchingFromTheWings Thu 21-Sep-17 10:08:23

Wtf?! I'd pack him up with the hamper and send them both back! grin

tocas Thu 21-Sep-17 10:09:54


QueenEnid Thu 21-Sep-17 10:11:52

I’d be fuming if my oh bought me that - esp when he knows you wouldn’t like it!

Tell him you’re sending it back and he can give you the £85 to spend on something you want!

flopseyR72 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:13:25

He did buy me something else as well. I don't want to be rude as he is generous. But I have told him not to buy me chocs ( he just eats them himself). I just think its so rubbish a hamper........who buys hampers?

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 21-Sep-17 10:15:52

Why are you worried about being rude to someome who's been far more rude to you?

TellMeItsNotTrue Thu 21-Sep-17 10:17:04

Who buys hampers? You do, for his Christmas present wink

flopseyR72 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:17:59

I think he actually thought I might like it. Thats why I think its rude. If it was cheap I wouldn't say anything. But £85.00!!! on yuk

crochetmonkey74 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:18:07

I would ask him to return it s it seems a bit odd to disregard what you said you wanted especially as you were going to choose it together(?)

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 21-Sep-17 10:19:06

So you have been together long enough to spend 85 quid on eachother but not long enough to know your partner hates marmalade and chocolates?

TheViceOfReason Thu 21-Sep-17 10:19:07

Did he get it for free and re-gift it to you? It's a very odd thing to buy someone unless you know they will really enjoy everything in it!

eyebrowseyebrows Thu 21-Sep-17 10:19:21

Normally I'm on the side of 'be grateful and suck it up' with presents but...^a hamper?^

Hampers are to give Nans at Christmas aren't they? I'd be peeved especially when he asked what you wanted and then ignored it.

Tell him as nicely as you can manage that hampers are for his great Aunt and to get you some make up.

EverythingEverywhere1234 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:21:41

YANBU. Send it back if you can!!

flopseyR72 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:22:05

He did buy it! I know its like something you would give your granny.

PollyFlint Thu 21-Sep-17 10:31:40

OK, I love food but I have to say that even I would find it a bit weird to get a hamper as a present from my other half. Particularly if you don't like half the stuff in it.

I'm sure he meant well - especially if he's been generous with other gifts - but I think if you politely said 'Look, I've been thinking and you must have spent a lot of money on this but I honestly don't think most of this will get eaten and I really don't you to waste your money... is there any chance it could be returned?" it would be fine. I mean, obviously don't say 'Why the fuck did you buy me this shit?' but handle it tactfully and I don't think it would be unreasonable.

justilou1 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:31:57

That's what you buy for an employee or their Nanna. Not romantic at all.

IHeartDodo Thu 21-Sep-17 10:32:32

you sound about 12 lol
But yes it's a bad gift if he already knew what you wanted!

SteampunkPrincess Thu 21-Sep-17 10:34:36

are you still going shopping on Sat?

coddiwomple Thu 21-Sep-17 10:35:01

what a very strange present. It's not rude, there's nothing insulting in it, but it's just odd. confused

I would be nice about it, say you appreciate the gesture and he's very generous (you got months before your next birthday to tell him that the present sucked), but it's such a waste of money you would rather spend on something else. You could have a decent diner for 2 for the price!

dinosaurkisses Thu 21-Sep-17 10:36:17

Christmas is only like 12 weeks away or something- if you know he'll just scoff the lot himself I'd be inclined to hang on to it and regift it to him as part of his present!

My father in law did something very similar to my youngest SIL last year- it was very very funny to see her reaction when she realised she'd been caught out

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 21-Sep-17 10:39:32

I disagree coddi

Asking what someone wants then getting them something else full of stuff they don't like knowing you will probably just eat it for them anyway, is surely the very definition of rude.

The only gesture he has made is that he's lazy and arrogant

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