Tonight I got home and DP had ordered takeaway, he tried to call me knowing I was in a meeting and then would be driving. He didn't get me on the phone so just ordered for himself and DS instead of waiting till I got home or even ordering for me.
At the time, I wasn't too fussed and planned to just share some of DS(9)'. When it arrived I brought a plate through and DS started saying he didn't want to share. I'm not proud of it but I just said "fine" put the plate down and went to bed. I could hear DP trying to cajole him and tell him off but I was pissed off at his selfishness.
As a one off this might not seem like a big deal but I am so tired of their selfishness. It doesn't matter how much I do for either of them I have to fight and bribe and beg to get anything in return.
Everything I do is with them in mind- I do more or less everything for both of them and I honestly don't complain or act like they owe me anything at all. I like doing things to make life easier and more pleasant for them- even when I'm working I take on most things at home too.
DS can be very thoughtful and kind but alot of the time difficult and selfish too. DP is wonderful in many ways but its the sfishness with both of them that upsets me. I feel like im not as important to them as they are to me.
I don't do it to get anything back but given how much I do for them I don't think its unreasonable to wish they'd think of me now and again.
Recently I've felt like I'm only worthy of DP's affection and attention when he needs something from me and its making me feel like crap.
Sorry for TMI but tonight in bed he initiated things and let me finish him off then rolled over after barely touching me. Given how things are in the rest of our relationship atm I'm left thinking he only started being affevtionate in the first place so I'd give him what he wanted and he wasn't really interested in me or anything mutual.
I'm so fucked off and fed up with it and I know I'm being a pushover, I just feel like they should want to be kind to me, not just do it because I've had to spell it out for them.
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43 replies
FrothyFern · 21/09/2017 01:43
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