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To ask you to put yourself in this situation and tell me how you would genuinely react?

(53 Posts)
ProverbialOuthouse Wed 20-Sep-17 18:52:25

You start a new hobby. Let's call it karate.

First couple of times it's fine but then instructor starts saying he's really glad you've joined his club and he can see the two of you becoming good friends. He goes on to ask if you can keep secrets but does not tell you any, just says it's good if you can keep secrets. Over the weeks he goes on to say stuff like "I feel we have a great connection, I see you as more than a student, more like a close friend" and "remember when I asked about secrets? Does it still stand?" Etc etc!!!! Creeping me out now. He's a wrong 'un isn't he?

TeaStory Wed 20-Sep-17 18:53:15

Ew, creepy as fuck.

coffeekittens Wed 20-Sep-17 18:54:01

Yeah he is. Is there any sort of governing body/manager you could report him to?

MollyHuaCha Wed 20-Sep-17 18:54:04

Sounds like a weirdo. If he's making you feel uneasy maybe it's time to find a new hobby.

Redhead17 Wed 20-Sep-17 18:54:08

Very creepy.

He sounds like he's grooming you confused

Subtlecheese Wed 20-Sep-17 18:55:12

I'd move on.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Wed 20-Sep-17 18:56:37


ThaliaLuxurySpa Wed 20-Sep-17 18:56:43

Beyond weird.

The "are you good at keeping secrets" stuff particularly raises alarm bells. Does this man teach children as well, would you know?

BrowsOnFleek Wed 20-Sep-17 18:56:55

Definitely a wrongen. Leave now whilst you can!

ProverbialOuthouse Wed 20-Sep-17 18:58:06

He's married but went to Thailand with a friend (male). He then came back saying stuff like "Thailand is a crazy place, you can get anything you want over there, and I mean ANYTHING". I responded with "yes I've been, it's a lovely place, great food, great people, did you watch any martial arts whilst you were there?" And he replied "no but I got upto plenty of other stuff 😉 But you know what they say, what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand 😉 " eww ... I wanted to tell him that if he's shagged a young girl out there, chances are it was actually a young boy but I didn't.

Elenasparkles Wed 20-Sep-17 18:59:00

Sounds very dodgy and extremely unprofessional. I would consider changing to a different run group to pursue the activity and maybe think about reporting him to any governing body or owners of the building the activity takes place in.

Violetparis Wed 20-Sep-17 18:59:06

Creepy and unacceptable, I would leave and go somewhere else. Would complain too if there was the option, he may have form for this type of behaviour.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 20-Sep-17 18:59:25

I see you as more than a student, more like a close friend"
Well I don't. You are an instructor and I'm a student, do you have a problem with keeping to boundaries? If you do, then this class isn't for me.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno Wed 20-Sep-17 19:00:04

Run a fucking mile!

Whocansay Wed 20-Sep-17 19:01:39

I would reply 'no, I'm a terrible gossip'. Loudly.

He sounds creepy as fuck. To be honest I would just stop going and find another class.

TurnipCake Wed 20-Sep-17 19:02:13

Holy crossing of professional and personal boundaries, Batman!

And his comments re: Thailand, I lived in Bangkok and saw his type all the time. Gross.

EezerGoode Wed 20-Sep-17 19:03:57

How old are you sweetie? You need to tell an adult..not a nice man

ThaliaLuxurySpa Wed 20-Sep-17 19:04:29


Am confused now: you said

"He goes on to ask if you can keep secrets but does not tell you any, just says it's good if you can keep secrets."

but then he must've told you the Thailand stuff, so he did confide "secrets"...

ThymeLord Wed 20-Sep-17 19:04:41

Totally creepy. He's sounding you out for an affair.

ProverbialOuthouse Wed 20-Sep-17 19:04:55

He does teach kids yes. He Said cRB checked etc but still - once whilst doing partner work with a 15 year old girl he came over to me and demonstrated something. I have very weak joints and my wrist popped out of place (happens all the time!) so I casually popped it back in and he loudly whispered "Christ you'd be no fun in the errr ... in private would you with your bones popping out like that". The young girl was stood right next to him!!! She pretended she didn't hear but I know she did.

He also teaches a young boy called Leroy who happens to be black. He routinely gets his name wrong and says he can't pronounce it!!! How could you not pronounce Leroy? It's a simple word! The cynic in me wonders if he'd have so much trouble if the kid was white (it's a very white area, not many Ethnic minorities). He also once said "I like my women like I like my coffee" he then whispered to me "strong and white" 😲 I'm not going to continue going for obvious reasons but I'm in shock that someone could be so openly "wrong" with such an established club and reputation!!

Tanfastic Wed 20-Sep-17 19:05:22

Sounds like a complete weirdo. I'd not be going back op, that would seriously creep me out.

ProverbialOuthouse Wed 20-Sep-17 19:06:59

The Thailand thing came after the secrets thing. That was the last time I spoke to him.

Ineedmorelemonpledge Wed 20-Sep-17 19:07:55

Is his name Rex? 😂😂😂

TurnipCake Wed 20-Sep-17 19:08:07

I wouldn't leave this man with a fucking cactus, let alone around children.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 20-Sep-17 19:08:40

I would image as an instructor he is a member of some kind of professional body? He needs reported.

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