My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

239 replies

SlimedShit · 20/09/2017 18:33

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

OP posts:
Fekko · 20/09/2017 18:36

She was rude! Garlic can be pretty pungent but for goodness sake, a smell can't kill you.

7to25 · 20/09/2017 18:36

Not only was the neighbour wrong but I wonder if she has other problems.

PurplePillowCase · 20/09/2017 18:36

both were rude.
if someone is so sensitive to smell that it makes them sick then it should be noted in the patient's records so strong smells can be avoided.
tbh smelly breath is very unprofessional. could be solved with teeth brushing or spchewing gum...

MarchEliza · 20/09/2017 18:36

Yes, your neighbour was very rude and the nurse very calm under the circumstances.

shakeyourcaboose · 20/09/2017 18:37

Being 'older' does not give carte blanche to be horribly rude! Neighbour is wrong and cant see how nurse was unprofessional in her response. Why do people think health professionals should smilingly take personal abuse!

shakeyourcaboose · 20/09/2017 18:37

Being 'older' does not give carte blanche to be horribly rude! Neighbour is wrong and cant see how nurse was unprofessional in her response. Why do people think health professionals should smilingly take personal abuse!

FittonTower · 20/09/2017 18:37

Don't think it's acceptable to tell someone they stink to be honest, if that nurse turns up every day smelling in a way that guenuinly makes your neighbour feel ill then there are better ways of raising that with the nurse or with her manager if appropriate. Sounds like the poor nurse has come round once after a particularly garlicy supper and got told she stinks - if get a bit narky if that happened to me at work too.

Fekko · 20/09/2017 18:37

Garlic can linger even if you've scrubbed your teeth and gargled with mouthwash.

Phosphorus · 20/09/2017 18:38

You can't seriously think the nurse was wrong?

Butterymuffin · 20/09/2017 18:39

Ask your neighbour how she'd like someone talking to her like that and moaning about what she ate. It was extremely rude and she needn't turn the waterworks on now because the nurse didn't accept it.

coddiwomple · 20/09/2017 18:40

both were wrong, both were rude.
I would not eat garlic before meeting a client (or even going into the office frankly), and always chew gum or something before a meeting. It's basic manners.
A nurse is by definition more likely to be closer to people, who are unwell.

If someone had come smelling of something like garlic when I was pregnant, I would have been sick. Sometimes, ,you cannot help it.

LakieLady · 20/09/2017 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Crowdie · 20/09/2017 18:40

Neighbour was very rude.

It's thoroughly bad mannered to say things like that.

Nurse was not rude at all!
She tried to deflect neighbour by asking if she wanted her insulin then had to defend herself against an onslaught of rudeness.

bingolittle · 20/09/2017 18:41

Seconding what MarchEliza said.

NikiBabe · 20/09/2017 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Schoolchoicesucks · 20/09/2017 18:44

Wow neighbour was totally being U.
Rude to comment. Presumably she didn't have to be in close proximity for a long time (so different to having to work with a smelly colleague). She could have said she needed to open a window or spray some perfume if the smell was bothering her and moved further away when she didn't need to be within touching distance.
She shouldn't have persisted with complaining once nurse had politely rebuffed her rudeness either.

yikesanotherbooboo · 20/09/2017 18:44

Nurse wasn't rude..

Redglitter · 20/09/2017 18:45

I think the nurse handled it quite well. Your neighbour sounds really rude. If the nurse came in every day smelling because of bad hygiene that's different but once because shed had a garlicky meal - rude and unnecessary

Summer1986 · 20/09/2017 18:45

I think your neighbour was extremely rude and I wouldn't dream of saying anything like that to anyone. As a Nurse myself I try to consider my patients and avoid strong perfumes, ensure my uniform is freshly washed each shift and am aware of my sweat etc but I wouldn't take being told what I can and can't eat on my shift or before work! She's rude and should apologise to her nurse.

YellowFlower201 · 20/09/2017 18:45

The nurse was polite than I would have been. Your neighbour sounds more than a little odd crying over this.

ragged · 20/09/2017 18:47

I imagine neighbour is a vulnerable person, but she was being U. Just because you're vulnerable doesn't mean people can't disagree with you & tell you that you're being unreasonable.

notsobeachready · 20/09/2017 18:47

I work with the elderly and you won't BELIEVE the number of things some can get "offended" by. My weight is always a great one, that it's unsightly, making them feel ill that I could get to such a size, etc.
It was an appointment to do an insulin injection. Pretty in and out, neighbour was very rude. If it were personal care lasting many minutes and the smell was a regular issue, that would be something to flag up with management. You wouldn't tell a shop assistant they stank, or the person delivering your shopping, why does a nurse deserve less respect? Also, garlic is a tricky one. Bad choice of food, anyone could do it. If it was stinking body odour from poor hygiene then that would be totally different.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

MaidOfStars · 20/09/2017 18:48

Your neighbour is rude (and wrong).

Is it a nurse she knows well/repeat visits etc?

FrancisCrawford · 20/09/2017 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Liadain · 20/09/2017 18:49

The nurse was very professional in how she replied to the person. Elderly person was very rude.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.