MIL wants to sell my baby(199 Posts)
Apologies for clickbaity title. But now I have your attention...
I'm a paramedic. Several times in the last couple of months I have heard a parent say to their child some variation of "Behave or that ambulance lady will be cross/tell you off/take you away".
Don't. Do. That.
Don't make your child afraid of us.
Don't make them so afraid that when I try to examine their broken arm they scream and squirm and do more damage.
Don't make them afraid to call 999 and ask for help.
Don't make them afraid to approach us if they are lost in public.
Don't make them too afraid to open the front door when you've fallen down the stairs and are unconscious.
I've also heard "the police will come and arrest you if you don't stop". Also not a good message.
Teach your children that the emergency services are here to help and are friendly and trustworthy. You never know when you might need us. Don't use me to discipline or calm your child because the first thing I will do is turn around with a big smile and tell that child it isn't the case.
This has been a public service announcement from TheExtraPickle. (Who's MIL is lovely and in no way involved in child trading)
Can I add to your excellent post.
In hospital when we are doing something with your child, giving medicine for example. Can you please not call us nasty nurses to your child.
Stop making your child afraid of us. It really doesn't help.
Oh come on OP, we need a story to go with that title!
Not as serious as these, but also: stop telling them that the librarians are nasty and going to tell them off. They're not. They're going to find them lots of lovely books to read and help them find info on the Romans for their school project and organise RhymeTime and similar. Making children scared of the people that faciliate a lifelong love of literature and give them a massive educational/life chances boost is Not Helpful.
You know I have been doing this with my toddler... we great anyone in uniform with a cheery HELLO! This proved useful this week when my menace decided to smash his arm (needed wiring under general anaesthetic and an ambulance transfer to a specialist hospital). He, at 2, had decided that the ambulance guys were friends so was less freaked than he would've been. It helped that he was given a tigger bean toy and the para read him books about what happens in the hospital for the 40 minute transfer.
We have shocked a few police officers (east end of london) with my menace's cheery HELLO!!!!! and high five offers though - I think they aren't really expecting his form of exuberant greeting!
It's like the "don't talk to strangers" thing. Far better to teach your child that in an emergency some people are "safe" to talk to - e.g. people working in shops, in a uniform or even a person with children with them.
I hate it when people do that in my line of work which is not at all in the potentially life saving league yours is. I always go for "I know it's not nice but the doctor/nurse is doing it to help you"
Salami the perfect addition, thank you.
blacktea MIL is short of cash and wants to sell my baby till payday to pay off her 50 inch plasma. She promises she'll buy her back on payday but I'm a bit wary. AIBU not to allow her to sell my baby?
I always find it a really odd thing to tell children, why make them wary of people that are there to help
Susan just as important, librarians are awesome and will also be there in a library based emergency!
gemma Ambulancey hugs for the little menace!
I know someone who does that to police officers every time they see one - she won't be told it's not a good thing to do! Silly cow.
Fwiw, tell MIL not to eBay the baby - apparently it's frowned upon these days..
Not the same but don't tell your kids that people working in the service area are ''just a waitress/ just a fast food worker'' so they don't have to say please or thank you. We're still people, we deserve people using their manners just the same as everyone else!
It is pass the buck parenting - threatening kids with the nearest authority figure because you can't be bothered to correct them yourself.
Parent your own children don't make bogeymen and women out of anyone in authority in a uniform.
The day might come when your child needs to turn to one of those people for help. (as you said OP) and turning medical treatment into some sort of punishment for your kids is weird and nasty.
Slightly disappointed your MIL is not trying to sell your baby though
OP, how fond are you of your baby? I think YABU, it's only for a short while and your MIL needs that telly for x-factor and strictly!
Met a child from my school a few years back, in the supermarket with his pita mother who was nagging him, saw me and said 'Oh, there's Mrs X , you'd better behave now or she'll tell you off. '
Sod that, it was Saturday. So we demonstrated our throwing, catching and juggling skills with my satsumas. I knew he was good, because I taught him PE. Had to stop because she was furious and we were giggling.
Hate it when people stereotype.
You're talking about parents who can't parent and so threaten their DC with the authority of police/paramedic/ security/librarian instead of maintaining some authority themselves. IDK that there's much point reasoning with those parents TBH.
Oh I hate this too. There's an extra dimension when you are talking about your job, but people who are not coping with their child's behaviour do it a lot- in shops for instance
It sends a terrible message to the child about their parent's lack of confident authority over them, and kids sense this and play on it,
Same with all the "I'll tell the policeman!" crap.
I've actually shown mine the uniforms of different people who help us...and also pointed out to them the difference between an ACTUAL uniform and "just someone who looks important"
The reason I did this was because one of mine, aged about 4, pointed to a workman in a hi vis jacket and asked if he was a policeman...same with a woman in a black suit one day.
I've shown them pictures of police, paramedics, nurses, doctors and told them about I.D badges and proof.
Not the same, but I was buying some clothes for DD1 a few months back and a woman with a tantruming toddler said to him 'behave or that lady will tell you off', looking at me.
I just looked at her like and walked off
My dad was a policeman and he used to hate when parents would warn their kids that 'the bad policeman will lock them up for being naughty'.
I've even heard my friends say it to their children when they won't listen. It's stupid and irresponsible, children need to be taught that they can approach these professionals who are there to help
Do people really say this about paramedics? I can believe "the police will lock you up if you carry on like that" but cant beleive anyone would talk about that about paramedics.
For the record OP, I don't know how paramedics do it. My MIL fell and broke her hip a couple of months ago and my 11 year old DD who was at home with her had to ring 999. By the time we got home paramedics were there and one of them in between looking after MIL had found the time to reassure DD everything would be OK, explain the purpose of the canula and IV drip and even as they were carrying MIL out telling her how brilliant her grand daughter was for looking after her so well.... oh and they managed to flirt with MIL too to the extent that she kept saying all she could remember about that night was the very handome paramedic
We've always told the kids from an early age that police, paramedics, firemen are there to help us. I know enough people working in the police to know that it's wrong to tryto make out they're a threat,
Oh dammit I was going to ask you to ask your MIL where you can get a good price.
My son went to Pre school in a rather " mixed" area
The Police came in a van to meet the children and apparently half of them tried to leg it!!
We tell DD (5) that police officers, paramedics, firemen, nurses etc are like superheroes. She loves superheroes & it helps her understand that although they are noisy & sometimes shouty, even running about on the street, they are protecting people & "catching bad guys". We always tell DD if we go anywhere crowded, if she gets separated from us, to find someone in uniform, or to go into a shop & ask for help. She has a label in her bag & coat packet with our names & numbers on.
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