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Update - missed Grammar School application

(686 Posts)
sososocross Wed 13-Sep-17 11:45:10

So many people have kindly sent pm and a couple of update threads have been started so I wanted to update.

Firstly I really want to thank you all for your help and kindness. I was in a state and without you all I would have lost the plot. You women rule 🏅

Update: They are not letting him do the test and I have told DS. I made the choice to tell him in a vague way and simply stated that something had gone wrong and his application had not been received. I will not lie to him if he asks for more details at a later date, but I couldn't take away his chosen school and his image of his dad in one cruel swoop.

He cried and asked me to sort it out, and I told him I had tried and couldn't. I told him my alternate plans and he relaxed. I also told him I would be coming home early 2x per week from here on, and we would work together on homework, extra study or whatever he chose. If he wants to register for the 12 or 13 plus I will do all I can to assist him. Then we watched guardians of the galaxy and had big cuddle up on the sofa.

So that's where we are.

I am sorry to those I irritated by deleting the thread, I was very worried about the daily mail and any come back. I hope you understand I was having a crisis and listed inappropriate details which could identify my son on the thread.

Please don't mention school details on this thread as I'd rather it all remain anonymous for his sake.

Thanks again for all the kindness, it meant the world to me.

Idontevencareanymore Wed 13-Sep-17 11:48:13

Oh soso you must be absolutely devastated. But equally proud you've got such a mature young lad there.

Good luck for his future education. With the work ethic he has I'm sure he'll go so far.

peachandplum Wed 13-Sep-17 11:48:15

What are you going to do about your DH op? Is he remorseful?

sososocross Wed 13-Sep-17 11:50:07

Peach - idk - not thought it thru yet. Feel v angry and need to calm down before making a decision. He's having a meltdown now. I can't be arsed anymore.

SherbertLemon2011 Wed 13-Sep-17 11:50:39

flowers I am glad that you have a resolution of sorts. There will be disappointments in life but mummy cuddles will help a lot however old they are

RainbowPastel Wed 13-Sep-17 11:50:51

Did you look into seeing if he could do the test in another area?

alltouchedout Wed 13-Sep-17 11:51:06

You are a very good mum. Your son sounds like a brilliant kid and I hope he finds and goes to a school he loves and thrives in. Thank you for taking the time to update us.

Nomoresunshine Wed 13-Sep-17 11:51:07

Shed in the garden. .
Just an idea.

SherbertLemon2011 Wed 13-Sep-17 11:51:49

Your son will remember you being there for him and helping him see a way forward and that is worth the world

TheSnorkMaidenReturns Wed 13-Sep-17 11:53:03

So sorry sososocross.

DartmoorDoughnut Wed 13-Sep-17 11:53:28

What the fuck is HE doing having a meltdown?! He is such a selfish twatbadger angry

In any case you've dealt with all of this brilliantly and I hope your DS realises what an awesome mum he has

InsomniacAnonymous Wed 13-Sep-17 11:53:29

Thanks for updating, soso. You're a wonderful mum with an equally wonderful son. What was the reaction from your son's current headteacher when you explained what had happened and did your husband even try to do anything about the situation he had caused?

VimFuego101 Wed 13-Sep-17 11:53:35

Your son's attitude to this shows he will go far in life regardless of what school he goes to. I admire your restraint in not killing your husband.

sososocross Wed 13-Sep-17 11:53:41

Rainbow - yes he is registered for another test but it we're thinking hard. I think a local sports academy will suit his needs better than a grammar over an hr away on the bus. We're going to do some studying together too - and I want to show him he can achieve his goals at any school

purplecorkheart Wed 13-Sep-17 11:53:57

So sorry to hear that it hasn't worked out now. Wishing you and your ds the best in the future.

InsomniacAnonymous Wed 13-Sep-17 11:54:23

What do you mean by "having a meltdown"?

RhiWrites Wed 13-Sep-17 11:54:44

I posted to say hello s dad should be the one to tell him. Had he learnt anything from this? You've cleaned up the mess as best you can but dad didn't even have the balls to tell his own son? That's depressing.

DarceyBusselsNose Wed 13-Sep-17 11:55:20

Sometimes it better to be a biigger fish in a different pond. If he is grammar material he will be in the top set of the non selctive school, where he will flourish. You may find at the end of Y7 he is settled and doesnt want the upset of moving. Just play it by ear.

FWIW our local grammer, whilst it does the 12+ in reality the reserve 11+ is so long that children are still on that list come Year 10. The grammars dont create places, they can only fill in where natural wastage has occurred, again in my experience, come hell or high waer, parents do not relequish that place. There was only a turn over of 5 or 6 pupils over the whole of KS3 and 4. So don't create false hopes.

Good luck what ever you choose.

PantPlot Wed 13-Sep-17 11:55:32

Well done flowers

FWIW I know children who have gone/are at the sports academy school and have done really well

GreenPolishToGo Wed 13-Sep-17 11:55:42

Oh Soso your poor darling DS. I am so sad for both of you. But he is an amazing kid and with you behind him I am sure he will do spectacularly well wherever he goes. Sometimes a back-up plan can turn out to have been the best option all along.

sososocross Wed 13-Sep-17 11:55:53

Dartmoor- twatbadger sums it up nicely. He is famed his delicate constitution and has form for being ill whenever there's something difficult to do/deal with

RainbowPastel Wed 13-Sep-17 11:56:05

Hope it all works out for you and your son OP. As for you DH I have great sympathy for you.

Whatthefoxgoingon Wed 13-Sep-17 11:56:49

Poor little guy.

I'm still furious at your husband. He really needs to accept his responsibility, not hide behind your skirts angry

Prusik Wed 13-Sep-17 11:57:22

Your son sounds incredible. He's an absolute credit to you. I don't normally get emotionally involved in threads but I'm welling up at how admirably he's dealt with it. I get the feeling your ds will grow up to be an incredible young man

sososocross Wed 13-Sep-17 11:57:32

Insomniac - DH has done nothing and seems completely stunned that I can't 'sort it out'. Headteacher told me she's not in favour of grammar schools and DS better off at local comp.

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