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To be turned off by his silliness

(185 Posts)
girlconfused Wed 13-Sep-17 09:29:56

Argh.

I met a lovely guy a few months ago and he's caring, funny, generous - all the things you could possibly want in a partner (and basically the total opposite of my ex).

We've seen quite a lot of each other, I've met all his family, get on really well with them and lately things are becoming a bit more serious.

I know no one is perfect BUT his silliness is starting to really put me off and turn me off being physical with him.

If we're with other people he doesn't do it, but on our own he puts on silly baby-type voices, will make silly faces and will act quite camp at times (will walk in a way as if he's swinging a bag on his hips/dance in a silly, quite feminine, way etc.)

He can also act quite immature when we're alone and if for e.g. I say 'Right! I'd better head off, it's getting late', he'll start acting like a kid and say 'Noooooo, I don't want you to gooooooo' in a childish voice and cling onto me.

On one hand I really do appreciate all his lovely other qualities and the fact we both want the same things in life, he's a good person, yada yada yada. And on the other I just feel like I wish he would be a little more mature and serious when it's just the two of us.

AIBU to potentially call it off for this? We're both in our twenties.

flatpopcrapcrisps Wed 13-Sep-17 09:32:25

Bin him. Things that are irritating like this will just become unbearable and then one day everything will go all blurry and you'll find him in chunks in the bath. End it for his own safety. grin

JohnVenn Wed 13-Sep-17 09:35:52

He sounds annoying op.

Set him free to find someine that loves his "quirks". smile

RiseToday Wed 13-Sep-17 09:37:47

Personally I would dump him. I'd find it too much of a turn off.

Purplemac Wed 13-Sep-17 09:38:00

Sounds like my DH! Can be annoying at times but in all honesty I love that he is silly. I'm far too serious as a person and he drags me down with him - if it wasn't for him I'd be bloody bored and miserable.

But it's not for everyone. If it's bothering you this early in the relationship then he's not right for you.

livefornaps Wed 13-Sep-17 09:38:31

He thinks he's funny. He's not.

Have you ever read "One Day"? There's a character in it who is a lot like that. Then he meets a woman who tells him straight-up, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.

If you don't address it, it will only continue. Just say, "i'm really not a fan". If he's that much of a baby that he's so attached to a baby voice that he won't stop when asked....well then. Run for the hills!

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Wed 13-Sep-17 09:40:37

Making me cringe just reading your post

Men putting on a baby voice is awful it's not cute its ridiculous

An ex did this I feel ill thinking about it and after a while I couldn't stand him near me

Tell him you find the baby voice a complete turn off and that sex is off the agenda if he talks like a child (that should focus his mind). It's something I would find very unattractive.

In the interests of balance I also hate women using cutesy baby voices too. Somebody on another forum deliberately used ikkle instead of little and I had to sit on my hands not to post a response.

Only1scoop Wed 13-Sep-17 09:45:57

'he puts on silly baby-type voices'

Get rid

LadyInDread Wed 13-Sep-17 09:46:02

My ex used to do that. Quickly turned to childish petulance when he was "wronged".

Silly is fun. Baby-fied behavior is a no for mw.

girlconfused Wed 13-Sep-17 09:50:35

Thank you for the replies. Eurgh! Is there any way I can broach this with him without sounding utterly horrible? It makes me sad to think of calling it off with him but I also can't put up with it any longer. We had a four hour road trip yesterday and by the time we got back to his I was in a pretty grumpy mood and wanted to get the hell outta there go home to have some quiet time.

Literally everything else apart from this I really like about him. I was hoping he might grow out of it...

notangelinajolie Wed 13-Sep-17 09:52:12

Move on or accept it. Have you told him you don't like it? My DH isn't perfect and I'm definitely not but we live with each others annoying habits because we love the other lovely bits about each other more. DH was a total prat in the beginning but after 27 years it's all mostly endearing stuff.

KityGlitr Wed 13-Sep-17 09:52:41

Bin him. You're at the stage in a new relationship now where you start noticing the things about the other person that really irritate you and it's a sign that you're not all that compatible. When I'm crazy about someone I find I adore even their silly little quirks or irritating habits or physical 'flaws' because they're doing them. Like I can spend hours gazing at and stroking my partner's stretch marks and marvelling at their beauty just because there his 😂 and every thing he does seems impossibly adorable and makes me love him even more. Whenever I've experienced what you've described, it is the beginning of the end and if it's grating on you this much now and turning you off sex this early on it isn't gonna get any better. You should be on cloud nine. Your head is saying he has a lot of good qualities but your V is saying yuck get away from me, and I know which I'd listen to!

No point asking him to stop as this is who he is and it'll come out in another way.

i do tend to think that in relationship where you're well matched it takes a lot longer then a few months to start being irritated by them. He's already annoying you enough to post here consider calling it off which is a bit of a death knell for such a new relationship.

flatpopcrapcrisps Wed 13-Sep-17 09:52:58

Unless you tell him he won't stop. Is it all the time? Solid silliness for 4 hours? Urgh

Whensmokeysings Wed 13-Sep-17 09:56:01

flatpopcrapcrisps

"then one day everything will go all blurry and you'll find him in chunks in the bath. End it for his own safety"

Thanks for that, I just snorted loudly in the doctors waiting room...grin

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes Wed 13-Sep-17 09:57:50

Oh god he sounds awful sorry OP. Did laugh out loud at comment solid silliness for 4 hours? Urgh grin

CockacidalManiac Wed 13-Sep-17 09:58:37

If you find it irritating now, imagine what it'll be like in 5 years time...

CreativeMumma Wed 13-Sep-17 10:01:22

I think you should talk to him, he might not even realise he's doing it. If he carrys on after a chat I'd end things.

amusedbush Wed 13-Sep-17 10:02:10

Sounds like my DH! Can be annoying at times but in all honesty I love that he is silly. I'm far too serious as a person and he drags me down with him - if it wasn't for him I'd be bloody bored and miserable.

Same here! But if someone finds this unbearably annoying now, it won't get any better.

catmumof1 Wed 13-Sep-17 10:02:51

DP was like this until I said it was annoying and unattractive! We're both still silly but not in a way that would impede on our sex life wink

RubyWinterstorm Wed 13-Sep-17 10:02:53

instead of "binning" him, why not just tell him it annoys you?

clippityclock Wed 13-Sep-17 10:02:58

Why don't you just ask him why he does it? No way could I keep quiet for 4 hours about something I find annoying. I'd hate to be doing something that someone else finds annoying. Just tell him.

expatinscotland Wed 13-Sep-17 10:05:45

This is who he is, why would he 'outgrow' it? Bin him off. Don't waste your time.

FluttershysCutieMark Wed 13-Sep-17 10:06:05

People simply say bin him on get rid. How about just speaking to him about it, tell him you don't like it. Maybe he thinks he is being funny and thinks you find it funny. If you get on in every other way then I say give him a chance to make a change, if it continues then dump him.

Remember that this is nobody else's life, don't change something good in you life on the opinion of a random on mumsnet. If you had said you don't really have much in common and weren't enjoying your time with him then I'd agree with others about leaving, but it sounds salvageable just now.

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