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To feel at times that I live on an entirely different planet to other MNers?

(509 Posts)
RozDoyle Mon 11-Sep-17 23:49:58

I'm not criticising. This place is great. I have had some amazingly advice and support from people here and it's brilliant. But sometimes i feel like I live in a completely different world to a lot of posters here. I probably won't articulate this very well but I'm going to have a bash.


- little boys in dresses/the whole "gender neutral" thing. Literally all the parents I know irl just dress their kids in clothes typical to their sex i.e. Boys wear "boys clothes" and girls wear "girls clothes" and nothing is ever said about it. I have never seen a little boy in a dress, for example, because they'd likely be told not to wear a dress in case they were teased. Sad, but true..

- parents who cook every single meal from scratch. Always mega healthy and nutritious, and talk about it like it's the norm. In my world, most parents work and are simply too busy to cook from scratch every night (or too tired). No one "batch cooks" at the weekend. Its just whatever they can chuck in the oven after a hard day.

- how quick people are to shout "LTB". Now I should emphasise that I am not talking about cases of violence, cheating etc. But things like, a husband not pulling his weight around the house. In my experience, most people can't, and don't want to, leave their husbands, to whom they have children, for issues such as that. It's an extreme solution and it makes me wonder if these same people would really walk out of their marriage over such trivial matters.

I'm sure I have loads more examples but I can't think of them right now. Just wondered if anyone else feels this way?

KatosSlipper Mon 11-Sep-17 23:52:29

Toilet brushes......

RozDoyle Mon 11-Sep-17 23:53:38

Haha, I must admit, I don't own a toilet brush (I have a two year old who would probably paint the walls with it).

kittydetective Mon 11-Sep-17 23:54:53

I'm with you!

amermaideindesguise Mon 11-Sep-17 23:55:36

i feel thats as well op and also double standars for men and women if a man does it there is total outrage but if a woman does it its not a problem.

Anecdoche Mon 11-Sep-17 23:57:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RozDoyle Mon 11-Sep-17 23:58:22

Oh I thought of another one.

I think jobs are seen as so trivial by a lot of MNers. Like "yeah he needs to not go to work today and sort this problem" or "he needs to find a better paid job with more hours" - yeah, it doesn't work like that in real life...

RozDoyle Mon 11-Sep-17 23:59:39

I'm not saying there aren't detractors but I find they're in the minority a lot of the time.

Justgivemesomepeace Tue 12-Sep-17 00:00:01

Yep me too. I'm in that parallel universe with you I think. I live a world where a sandwich, yoghurt and banana or biscuit is a decent packed lunch, no one seems to take mobiles off other people's kids on sleepovers, the school mums are nice, I don't make my kids do their own washing and I don't know anyone who would dress their baby boy in girls clothes because they were handed down to them and baby wouldn't know. I do love MN though.

blackteasplease Tue 12-Sep-17 00:00:19

My ds wears a dress sometimes. Not as standard but sometimes. It might be a dressing up dress or one of his sister's old ones. He also wears "boys'" clothes happily most of the time and pirate etc dressing up.

But I am lax and let him wear a dressing gown out over his clothes the other week.

amermaideindesguise Tue 12-Sep-17 00:00:46

troll hunting aswell almost everday i see a thread and it takes one to go hmm and the rest jump on it and immediatly assume the person is a troll.

Justgivemesomepeace Tue 12-Sep-17 00:01:06

Oh and my MIL is perfectly nice.

DanHumphreyIsA Tue 12-Sep-17 00:01:59

@amermaid agree, and people are quick to diagnose women with MH issues. (There was a cleaning related thread and almost unanimously it was agreed the woman must be suffering from depression, but when its a man not cleaning etc he's an idiot, a waste of space, has nothing to offer)

amermaideindesguise Tue 12-Sep-17 00:02:02

sorry but i would not let my son walk around in a dress. I just wouldnt do it.

RozDoyle Tue 12-Sep-17 00:02:16

justgivemesomepeace all of those. But you've put it across so much more clearly.

BrandNewHouse Tue 12-Sep-17 00:02:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrandNewHouse Tue 12-Sep-17 00:04:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RozDoyle Tue 12-Sep-17 00:04:23

Yeah I definitely take issue with the idea that being an "introvert" is a justification for being rude.

thecatfromjapan Tue 12-Sep-17 00:05:46

As Anechdoche points out, you're missing the fact that there are plenty of people who don't do those things on here.

Do you really never meet parents in RL who aim for gender neutral clothes/let boys wear dresses and cook from scratch most days? You see, I find that a bit unusual. I'm a bit older than you and that was a bit of a thing in my early friendship groups. That said, I used to be involved in feminist/political activities and friendship groups.

Admittedly, that declined a bit when my children went to school and I met more parents outside of those circles. However, I find it odd that you don't know anyone like that in RL.

I cook 'from scratch' (to a point) most days. It's how I was brought up. I was pretty much brought up to think that 'ready meals' were loosely connected to the works of Satan and had a dangerous whiff of immorality about them (as well as being ecologically and politically suspect), and I can't quite overcome that. smile

Tricycletops Tue 12-Sep-17 00:07:41

BrandNewHouse I agree! I thought I was massively out of step with the world for a while until I realised that total introverts are massively over-represented in all areas of the internet- which I suppose makes perfect sense!

Arkadventure1982 Tue 12-Sep-17 00:09:03

I agree I sometimes want to rant but always get crucified over it. This whole gender neutral thing is bordering on ridiculous now too.

WorraLiberty Tue 12-Sep-17 00:10:16


I genuinely think a lot of posters just type a typically learned response a lot of the time.

I don't believe everyone here lives their lives in the same way they advise others to.

But that's the internet for you. A lot of people post as they person they would like to be, rather than the person they actually are.

Speakeasy22 Tue 12-Sep-17 00:10:35

And an awful lot of people have anxiety and can't speak to people/meet people without it being a massive deal. Sympathy to anyone with difficult issues to deal with but there seem to be a lot more on MN who are seriously hampered with it than IRL. Maybe everyone just covers it up...

thecatfromjapan Tue 12-Sep-17 00:12:36

Thirty years ago (give or take a few years), one of my friends replaced all the gendered pronouns she used with the word 'per'. grin

I think this thread is another one that demonstrates that Mumsnet can widen one's experience.

thecatfromjapan Tue 12-Sep-17 00:14:02

I think Tricylcetops has the right of it with regard to anxiety issues and introversion. It stands to reason that there will be more of that present and discussed on an internet forum.

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