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AIBU?

To not go on a date with someone who works in a shop

750 replies

therealbridgetjones · 11/09/2017 20:54

A friend of mine is trying to set me up with a friend of hers. I don't know much about him other than he is my age and works in a shop. He lives at home with his parents (early thirties).

I'm in my late twenties. I'm intelligent, have a career, earn above average and have my own house. I've lived away from my parents for about ten years and am completely independent.

I've worked in retail and to be honest it made me work bloody hard at university because I didn't want to end up back there!

My friend seems shocked and calls me snobby because I don't want to go on a date with her friend. She thinks I'm a gold digger but this couldn't be further from the truth! Her argument is that it's about the person and not their ambitions etc but surely this is a part of a person? I'm attracted to intelligence, ambition and independence.

So AIBU to not consider a date with this person?

OP posts:
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MonkeyJumping · 11/09/2017 20:55

Yes yabu. You don't know enough about him to judge his ambition, intelligence etc.

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FenceSitter01 · 11/09/2017 20:56

I wouldn't either, not unless his name was Sainsbury

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CoffeeAndEnnui · 11/09/2017 20:57

You don't need a more valid reason than your own reluctance for you to say no to a date with a stranger.

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LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 11/09/2017 20:57

YANBU don't go on a date with the poor man. He deserves someone who isn't looking down on him for working.

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theSnuffster · 11/09/2017 20:57

At least give him a chance!

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EnidColeslaw771 · 11/09/2017 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GurlwiththeCurl · 11/09/2017 20:58

I think you are being an outrageous snob, OP. My son has a Masters Degree, is highly intelligent and works in retail. He also lives with us. He is a great young man, but has struggled to get other work for a number of reasons. We are proud that he is prepared to graft hard, get along with his colleagues and often do physical work to help his team. You would be lucky to meet him, IMHO!

But perhaps he would not be so lucky to meet you.

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Babymamamama · 11/09/2017 20:59

It's up to you. Wouldn't appeal to me. So I can see where you're coming from. Compatibility is very important.,

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UsedtobeFeckless · 11/09/2017 20:59

You know nothing about him one way or the other. YABU and a bit of a snob to bin him off based on his job alone.

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JustHereForThePooStories · 11/09/2017 20:59

You can decline dating anyone, for any reason.

Hope you like your username though- sounds like you'll have it for quite a while.

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Tapandgo · 11/09/2017 20:59

Crikey! What is wrong with working in a shop?

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FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 11/09/2017 21:00

You've already judged him, so what's the point in wasting the guys time.

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MuddyMoose · 11/09/2017 21:00

You are ridiculously snobby. You know nothing about this man apart from his job title. As someone who works in retail, I take great offence to your judgemental, small minded opinions of shop workers.

Do this bloke a favour & decline a date.

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dudsville · 11/09/2017 21:01

You don't have to go out with him. He should go out with someone who respects him. You should look for someone you respect. All this is ok. George Clooney never came calling for me and I got over it!

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RememberToSmile1980 · 11/09/2017 21:01

I agree that you don't need to go on a date with him if you don't want to. Also moving forward you earn more and are more secure than him. Whether they think you are being a snob or fussy shouldn't matter. It's what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't date him either.

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AmyGardner · 11/09/2017 21:01

That's kind of sad; why judge someone on so little basis? You could walk in and think he's the one.

That said, if you don't want to go, your friend should back off. She isn't really wrong about the snob thing though...

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Percephone · 11/09/2017 21:01

Yanbu. I wouldn't either.

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expatinscotland · 11/09/2017 21:02

You don't owe anyone a date, for any reason. You don't owe anyone a chance, a date, a phone number. Having your own standards, be they no shop workers, people who live at home, don't drive, have a penis (or a small penis), support Arsenal, etc. does not make you a snob or a bad person. Distance yourself from such 'friends' who don't respect whatever boundaries or standards you set for yourself.

And don't ever go on a date you have to talk yourself into.

YANBU!

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greendale17 · 11/09/2017 21:02

YANBU- you want someone who has the same ambition as you.

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histinyhandsarefrozen · 11/09/2017 21:02

I wouldn't go on a date with a man who lived permanently with his parents.

I doubt we would have much/anything in common.

NB. This doesn't mean he's a bad person, he just wouldn't be for me.

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ShatnersBassoon · 11/09/2017 21:02

Is he definitely thick? It's just that your friend seems to think he'd be a good match for you..

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EllaElla · 11/09/2017 21:02

I get you, but he could be finishing his PhD or working at the shop and writing a bestselling novel at night for all you know at the moment! Even if he wasn't he might surprise you. I'd give it a chance - you can always say no to a second date! In my experience ambition and intelligence isn't always reflected in someone's current situation.

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shushpenfold · 11/09/2017 21:02

I'm sure YABU but I snorted at Fence's comment!

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PigletWasPoohsFriend · 11/09/2017 21:02

YANBU don't go on a date with the poor man. He deserves someone who isn't looking down on him for working.

^ this.

He should also think himself lucky to have dodged a date with someone with such snobbish attitudes.

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Niamhisnotarealname · 11/09/2017 21:02

Well, that's really shallow. I could understand no job putting you off but you really are looking down your nose at him because he works in retail? Maybe he enjoys it. We are all different. Don't bother with the date he deserves someone who likes him regardless.

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