They really are taking the piss this time aren't they?!

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

Following on from someone stealing my badminton racquet, we now have an incident at my new job which started today which I'm really uncomfortable with

So, I started today with another woman. The other woman was meant to start two weeks ago but has now declared herself fit for work (quite apparent she isn't fit for work as the DVLA won't allow her to drive). A part of this role is that we drive to training centre three hours away for the next two weeks.

Today I was collared by a woman I'd known around 35 minutes to say "We thought it'd be fine if I came down and back in your car with you". Well I had to say it was fine as my boss was saying to do it. This woman is loud, obnoxious, talks over the top of you, always has to be one better, and I've learned that in four hours of work today. I do not under any circumstances want to sit and drive her anywhere for three hours (plus the 3 x 20 mile round trips from hotel to training site).

Ive lied and said on Friday I'm going to visit friends so can't bring her back, so she's going to ask for another girl two weeks ahead of us in training to give her rides. She's never even met her!

Also, she's not happy I've told her I like to just listen to Talksport quietly in the car and drive, she wasn't happy. Also not happy when I said I'd been having room service in the evenings as now she apparently has nobody to eat with. NEITHER DO I, but I enjoy it this way. I've got no problem being polite during working hours, but this has been the first day at work from hell. She's my complete opposite personality wise and not someone I could ever have more than a standard working relationship with.

AIBU to think she shouldn't have started work until she was able to drive, and also that I shouldn't be cajoled into giving her rides or being her evening entertainment?

[LurkingHusband]

AIBU to think she shouldn't have started work until she was able to drive, and also that I shouldn't be cajoled into giving her rides or being her evening entertainment?

On what you've posted; No, No and No.

[TroelsLovesSquinkies]

No Don't give her rides if you don't want. She can get a taxi from the hotel to the training can't she.

[Witsender]

Depends whether she had a say really, how long would the wait be for the next start date for the training? The company may have indicated to her that they want her to start, and that she could travel with colleagues.

As for the rest, irritating but not a big deal. You've said no, she is looking elsewhere. C'est la vie.

[ElsieMc]

God no. I had a boss who thought it was okay to commandeer my car when she had just had my parking pass stopped to save money. Thankfully a lovely colleague who was leaving managed to have her pass transferred to me and left it in my drawer.

I don't know how you are going to bear it op. Can you also not have something else on for some other evenings? I am sure the other colleague a few weeks ahead of you will be absolutely delighted to have her company.

[Mulberry72]

YANBU. You shouldn't be guilt tripped into giving her lifts and your boss is naughty to have suggested it to her.

Tough shit if she doesn't want to listen to Talksport, she can always pay for a cab.

And definitely don't be talked into being her evening entertainment either.

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

The training can start whenever requested so that isn't an issue.

I feel really uncomfortable having someone in my car I don't know or have any desire to know, I'm not a taxi driver and that's what I feel like. I've already said I'm going to the gym and watch football for all of the nights anyway so that part is sorted

[LolaTheDarkdestroyer]

Tell her you are going major early to shop for a new badminton racquet.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

I wouldn't give her a lift. It's in your own time and it's not part of your job. I would refuse. They will get this time and again with her - put your foot down now.

[littleducks]

Can you arrange to leave at inconvenient times, so age has to hang around and may choose another option?

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

At first she wanted me to pick her up from her house 12 miles north to drive back until I said no, if you want a lift you come closer to where I live.

It was an impossible position, being asked on your first day to do that. I'd have looked so bad saying no, I'm stuck with it now I just wanted to make sure it was them and her in the wrong

[FlyingGiraffeBox]

Really impressed with how you've dealt with it actually. You've made it very clear that this will be on your terms and already taken steps to minimise how much you'll have to deal with this person. Stick to it and don't budge an inch. If you're lucky maybe she'll latch on to someone else there who can take over some of the to-and-from hotel ferrying.

[MrsBobDylan]

Is it just the one three hour trip? It's not ideal but not the worst start to a job. Just accept that you won't become best buds, take a deep breath and crack on. You'll be fine.

[NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll]

Tell her - or your manager- that you car insurance only covers your personal work commute and not business use, which providing colleagues transport would count as.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I agree with NotAUserNumber you may be able to argue that your insurance won't let you use the car for business.

[MoiraRosesMeltdown]

NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll Exactly

[5foot5]

Even if she could drive herself I think many companies might have encouraged some sort of car share between two people going to the same course.

Bit tough that she is someone you know you won't get on with and YANBU to avoid having to talk to her all the way there or spending every evening with her.

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

Would I not seem an utter cunt doing that the night before I'm meant to travel? As tempting as it is to do, I just think I'm making a rod for my own back.

If it was my previous job and I'd been there years I'd do it without hesitation, but on my first day seems rude

[kaitlinktm]

You shouldn't be guilt tripped into giving her lifts and your boss is naughty to have suggested it to her.

Why are bosses so generous with other people's cars? This happened to me at least three times in my last workplace. I did wonder why people would accept a job not on a bus/train route when they didn't drive, but I now think that maybe my services might have even been volunteered at interview.

Once, one of them had to go home as her child was ill at school, and I had to give up all my non-contact time for that week to run her to her child's school, then wait for her to pick up her child and then take them both home - and then go back and finish my day - I notice the boss (who helpfully suggested this by looking at the timetables and noticing that I wasn't teaching) sitting in his office all afternoon. I started getting a bit less helpful after that.

Don't make things to convenient for people is my advice - but it looks like you aren't being a pushover!

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

If I wasn't being a pushover I'd have said no today!

Point is, I'm literally filled with dread about tomorrow because I know I'm coming across as awful saying about Talksport and that I won't be eating dinner with her but she must have zero self awareness to realise how uncomfortable I am with how many times I said today she should call the DVLA about her driving.

I'm just so pleased it won't happen on the way home or any other time after this once

[ALittleMop]

Take her this time - I think there is no getting out of it sadly

But do not get pestered into taking her places in the evening

To be fair it sounds like she has been put in a similarly unreasonable position (though, yknow public transport and taxis exist)

Also don't write her off as a good colleague. She's probably not as bad as you seem to think she is - its just the enforced close proximity amplifying it.

Your boss was out of order.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I don't understand why she was hired in a role that requires driving? Did she lie in the interview and say she was able to drive and had a license?

That aside, you've been put in a really difficult position now your driving services have been volunteered.
I'd put the radio on loudly and tell her the passenger seat is "broken" she'll have to sit in the back for your own sanity.

[LadyInDread]

Introduce her to the raquet stealer. They'll get on each others tits famously!

[kaitlinktm]

No, I think you did well considering it's your first day and you were taken by surprise. You didn't go out of your way to pick her up, you aren't eating with her, you aren't doing evenings or Friday night. I think that was fairly quick-thinking of you.

It is a colossal cheek though - just the assumption.

[StickThatInYourPipe]

Are you getting paid mileage op?

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Poor you 🍷

Put stuff on the front seat (bag, sat nav, bottles of water, snack etc) & when she opens the door say 'Sorry, I'm using this seat, you'll need to sit in the back'.

A tad rude, but nothing compared to how rude she's been.

Next time be prepared & say 'No, it's not convenient'.

It's YOUR car, time & head space.