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To think my husband is trying to have an affair

(235 Posts)
sad9999 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:23:08

A year ago my husband went to a conference and bought another woman a necklace. It was an infinity necklace witha diamond. She returned it to him with a note saying it was inappropriate. The package was given to me by his secretary as he was away and I deal with all his post when he is away from work.

I confronted him and he claimed it was innocence. It is out of character for him to buy gifts for any one i do all the buying he can't be bothered.

He is at the same conference again and has been really horrible since last year. Refusing to help lots of digs at me undermining me in front of the kids. Really glad to see him leave. Just been on the laptop and a message from her popped up please don't complicate things I can't see him tomorrow night !

helpmenotfuckthis Sun 10-Sep-17 23:24:39

Erm yeah. And he sounds creepy with it. Ditch

Allthewaves Sun 10-Sep-17 23:25:30

If he's been horrible for a year isn't that enough reason to have a relationship rethink

sad9999 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:26:25

I am absolutely fuming and read his emails. He has been trying to befriend her for the past year. lots of slimy emails. You are such a good person he says to here. Then he sends pictures of our kids and asks for photos of her holidays. He wanted to meet her on Tuesday at 5pm to chat as he is confused and if the friendship means nothing to her he will never bother her again !!! I know I shouldn't have read his emails but needed to know what is going on

Xoticdreamz Sun 10-Sep-17 23:26:30

Do you want to stay with him ? I can't imagine any reason that my oh would be buying expensive jewels for anyone else without it being very dodgy. Are you in a financial and emotional place to leave?

Esspee Sun 10-Sep-17 23:27:01

Change the locks!

notapizzaeater Sun 10-Sep-17 23:27:22

Why are you still there ? He obv has checked out

Bluntness100 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:27:39

Her message said please don't complicate things? Yes either he is trying or he already is, probably the latter I'm sorry.

indigox Sun 10-Sep-17 23:27:40

Did you post about this at the time you found out about the gift?

BurberryBlue Sun 10-Sep-17 23:27:45

Use your time wisely,seek advice from a solicitor and compile as much information/evidence as possible.You don't have to live with an emotional abuser who bullies and undermines in front of others.Life is precious,get this man out of your life and move on to a better life.

sad9999 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:28:27

He has checked out. I have stayed because it is exam years for the children and thought give him the benefit of the doubt.

DaviesMum Sun 10-Sep-17 23:29:11

LTB. Better yet, kick him out of your lives!

LindyHemming Sun 10-Sep-17 23:29:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sad9999 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:31:01

no didn't post should have done !!

C0untDucku1a Sun 10-Sep-17 23:31:51

Oh god that poor woman! He sounds awful! And poor, poor you. Get your ducks in a row.

sad9999 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:45:24

So so cross bastard has taken all the safe keys with him

Xoticdreamz Sun 10-Sep-17 23:47:04

He sounds an arse, get yourself checked out, I don't imagine it will be easy but he sounds an utter arsehole.

Aquamarine1029 Sun 10-Sep-17 23:48:21

I would throw all of his shit into the street and change the locks. He's a total bastard.

MehMehAndMeh Sun 10-Sep-17 23:49:30

If you really need to get in the safe. Ring a locksmith in the morning.

BackInTheRoom Sun 10-Sep-17 23:52:03

Not another one (affair post)🤔 Sending you strength and 💐

rightnowimpissed Sun 10-Sep-17 23:55:04

Definitely find a way to screw him over and make a run for the hills what a bastard angry

Raindancer411 Mon 11-Sep-17 00:06:03

Does she seem like she wants to go any further with him? I would be tempted to contact her myself!

Do you both work? I would be careful and stay on the bigger person side so as to look better in the event of wanting to separate

yorkshireyummymummy Mon 11-Sep-17 00:09:38

Now why would he Take all of the safe keys with him? Is there something in there he does not want you to see or does he not want you getting into your possession whatever it is you keep in there?? It's all very odd.
But try to look at this rationally. You have got an advantage at the moment as you have read his emails and know what is going on. Print off the emails and anything else you can find. Do you have access to bank accounts? If you do I would move every penny you can get your hands on into your name only. How long is he away for? I would be going to see a solicitor pronto to get some advice AND I would be contacting a locksmith and getting that bloody safe open.
He has obviously checked out emotionally. It's not going to be easy on the kids but hey, there's never a good time for a split/ divorce is there? I'm assuming that you have realised that the chances are that this marriage is as good as over? You need to be strong and protect yourself and your kids financially as much as you can. I know I sound harsh but there's no point sitting crying into a bottle of Pinot - you will have time for that later. Now, you need to get to the angry stage. Like burberry posted, life really really is too short to be with someone who does not love you and who is behaving like a knob. Buying another woman jewelry??!! He would have had his ' crown jewels' bloody well mashed if he had done that to me. Good luck sweetheart, stay strong.

sad9999 Mon 11-Sep-17 00:15:38

Thank you. The kids have answered back all day. They have lost respect for me as he constantly calls me stupid, fat etc. Feel like walking out on the lot of them. See how far his refusing to do anything gets them all then !!

BeatriceBeaudelaire Mon 11-Sep-17 00:21:55

Ew, not only is he attempting infidelity ... he's doing it with a woman who is not interested and he sounds like a pushy stalker ... id run away.

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