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Ideas to get revenge on neighbours (lighthearted)

(38 Posts)
IDoDaChaCha Sun 03-Sep-17 07:19:34

Waiting for exchange and completion on a house and will finally be getting away from nightmare neighbours who have made our lives hell with their door slamming, arguing, smoking weed, delinquent sons tearing around on trail bikes etc etc....

Any ideas how we can make life as unpleasant as possible for them for these last couple of months we're here?

Be as evil as possible!! grin

CartwheelGirl Sun 03-Sep-17 07:49:19

I have a real parking ticket envelope that a local policeman gave me. I use it on April fool's day - always makes people jump! You can put a note in which can be as evil as you like)))

AliceLutherNeeMorgan Sun 03-Sep-17 07:52:49

My child is busy teaching herself to play the recorder. I thought her violin was bad in the early days, but this sounds absolutely terrible. Would you like me to send her round? She has a lot of stamina and can easily keep going for several hours...

You'll need earplugs your self though

Shiraznowplease Sun 03-Sep-17 07:53:33

Children bouncing on trampoline at 6am worked for us 😂😂 in our old house where they had parties until 3am I found that hoovering at 7 and letting the children play drums with saucepans and spoons early in the morning gave me no end of satisfaction. Also refusing to take in the endless parcels they ordered and add send to number 39 if not in.

PastysPrincess Sun 03-Sep-17 07:56:13

There was a recent thread on here where an OP had disgusting neighbours. She bent down to pick up a piece of plastic which had partially come through under their shared fence only to discover it was actually a used sanitary towel. shock

Tis a bit drastic but depends on how far your willing to go.

tralaaa Sun 03-Sep-17 08:10:04

We had a feral family across the car park from us who left their extra large wheelie bin by our garden gate never took it in and just brought their rubbish to it. Their children tried to set fire to our fence. When we moved I put their bin on the removal lorry and we still have it !

IDoDaChaCha Sun 03-Sep-17 08:16:10

AliceLutherNeeMorgan wonder if there are any YouTube videos of children learning to play musical instruments.... Badly... Was thinking of playing an annoying DIY sounds video I found. Had satisfaction previously playing '12 hours baby crying' type videos in the nursery and having DD sleep in my bedroom grin

SmitheringSmithison Sun 03-Sep-17 08:33:34

I had awful neighbours above me in my flat when I was younger-think parties and music til 4/5am every weekend, tv so loud I could hear it in my bedroom every night til the small hours, banging on my bedroom window when coming in from nightclubs, jumping on the floor if I dared to ask them to keep it down etc.
The weekend before I moved out I managed to lock them out of their flat all night after they'd been out on the town. There was a communal door which led to the stairs for the two upstairs properties which was left unlocked and open all the time, the other flat was vacant and as mine and the other downstairs flat had our flat door outside of this area we never had need to use it....council had still given us a key though grin
Saturday night and it's all going as usual-a group of their friends arrive about 6pm, music goes on and their stomping on the floor laughing and making a load of noise. 9pm comes and they all start trailing out to the awaiting taxi, talking about how they was going to have fun pissing 'that' bitch off later (yes me hmm ) and I thought fuck it. So when they'd all gone I locked the communal door...woke up the next morning feeling all refreshed at about 8.30am and looked out the spy hole in my door, there was 3 of them all stood there making phone calls and still trying to get inside talking about 'you wait til next weekend, that bitch isn't going to know what hit her. We'll have the party of all parties etc'.
The other downstairs neighbour and myself were on the phone to each other watching them discreetly out of our windows absolutely wetting ourselves laughing at them for the next hour until they got in obviously just wanting their beds by now although at this point I was ready to do my cleaning so put my music on to listen to over the vacuum grin grin
The satisfaction I felt when I moved out three days later was immense!

indulgentberries Sun 03-Sep-17 09:16:30

Buy them some pampas grass and a nice bowl for a leaving present. Offer to plant it in their front garden for them, it doesn't do to be horrible to your neighbours so I think that buying them a leaving present would be the kindest thing to do.

coddiwomple Sun 03-Sep-17 09:24:41


SmitheringSmithison Sun 03-Sep-17 09:54:43

coddiwomple thanks, I am still strangely proud of myself for it, just over 10 years later grin

Funnyface1 Sat 18-Nov-17 17:58:53

Resurrecting this because I'm in the same position. Due to exchange on Monday and complete on Friday! Plus my neighbours have no idea.

We are a row of 3 and I'm in the middle. Both sides have been awful neighbours for the two years we've been here.

Any more ideas keep them coming!!

baffledcoconut Sat 18-Nov-17 18:44:23

We found pomp and circumstance on a 10 second loop quite annoying for 12 hours straight

Maelstrop Sat 18-Nov-17 19:13:58

Barking dog recording? I can’t think of anything worse, tbh.

Iusedtobeafreeelf Sat 18-Nov-17 20:24:09

Bang frozen sausages into their lawn.

Notreallyarsed Sat 18-Nov-17 20:25:55

Japanese knotweed planted in their garden grin

LaurieFairyCake Sat 18-Nov-17 20:29:49

What happens if you bang frozen sausages into the lawn confused

Notreallyarsed Sat 18-Nov-17 20:30:57

They’ll rot presumably

Sayyouwill Sat 18-Nov-17 20:33:40

Tape some prawns to the underside of their welcome mat and/or porch step and/or gutters.

IdaDown Sat 18-Nov-17 20:38:06

Baby crying recording on a loop. Not a sound covered by environmental/noise team.

mumonashoestring Sat 18-Nov-17 20:43:48

Catapult prawns into the gutters near the windows, develop a sudden, all-consuming love of LOUD bagpipe music, wait til they go out then squirt superglue into the locks.

Did you know you can buy cockroaches via mail order? I presume they have a letterbox?

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Sat 18-Nov-17 20:53:48

mumonashoestring you are an evil genius grin

LaurieFairyCake Sat 18-Nov-17 21:05:52

But but frozen sausages are outside on a lawn

What does it matter if they rot confused

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sat 18-Nov-17 21:15:11

Sausages on a lawn will attract foxes which will in turn bring unbearable noise and Fox Shit. Lots of Fox Shit (which stinks)

My dream revenge on horrible neighbours (which won't happen because I'm not moving)

Maggots (fishing shop) in a box with some raw meat popped through the letterbox when they are away . Just the right environment for them to hatch into a millionty flies. Don't know if they're better in a sealed (but with airholes) box or just in a shallow open one. Not researched this one.

Bird seed on their car, melt some lard and mix it in (so it sticks nicely) pour it over and let them enjoy (and pooh)

LolaTheDarkdestroyer Sat 18-Nov-17 21:17:01

Poor fuckers that have to
Move in after you? I feel so sorry for people that buy houses and end up in this situation.

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