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I've got an hour before I get to my mums. Please peel me off the ceiling before I get there.

(415 Posts)
TippyTinkleTrousers Tue 22-Aug-17 19:50:20

We have two boys 10 and 6.

The six year old has multiple severe allergies and an immunodeficiency and been out of hospital a lot of his life.

He's anaphylactic to dairy, egg, banana, nuts, shell fish with a moderate allergy to wheat, soya, pollen, animal dander and more.

He sees a specialist in London Eva Lina and they test him annually. The allergies are getting worse but we are aware and in control of them.

He's never stayed away from us ever.
When we go somewhere I provide all food for him to make life easier for everyone. Mainly him!

Last night he stayed at my mums because I'm on a placement. I provided all food, said he just eats that.

She called me and asked if he could have lemonade. I say yes as long as the ingredients are just water sugar etc and no allergens.

She called me later and said "Can he have Rowntrees Ice Cream?"

I said "you don't mean ice cream do you? You most mean ice lollies, just the fruit juice."

She said "yes ice lollies."

2 hours later she calls me to tell me it was 63% skimmed milk powder in it and he's fine.

Doctors have specifically told us to totally avoid milk because we tried a baked milk challenge gave him baked milk and he had crippling stomach ache and dihorreha the next day for hours it was horrible.

We are now flooring it down the motorway telling her to give him antihistamines, it will take an hour to get there.

I was angry very very angry (though didn't shout at her I had to be calm and tell her what to do in case he started reacting) but now I'm sick with worry.

I mean this is fucking life or death. I'm astounding, shocked and relieved that afte 2 hours he has no symptoms but all is not over.

I will have to take tomorrow off because with experience he will be in screaming agony like last time.

For fuck sake.

This is his first every night away from me. I really trusted my mum. I really thought she knew that ice CREAM was a sign and she knew to read labels.

Soubriquet Tue 22-Aug-17 19:55:42

I hope your Ds is ok

Your mum did make a mistake so I understand your anger.

I want to say mistakes happen but this is something that could have killed him.

She must learn to read labels properly and take his allergies seriously. No one likes to be told how to do things, but it's really important she learns this

Queenioqueenio Tue 22-Aug-17 19:56:17

Oh dear, I really hope he is ok and he doesn't get a huge reaction. It's a very hard lesson that you really can't trust anyone sad.
Too late now but why didn't you ask her to read the label out to you? 'ice cream' would be ringing a huge alarm for me.

Teacupinastorm Tue 22-Aug-17 19:58:44

Oh god, really feel for you. I hope all is ok and you get there soon.
Really winds me up when people don't take allergies seriously, or say 'just a little but won't hurt'. Yes, yes it will!

meltingmarshmallows Tue 22-Aug-17 19:59:31

I hope he's ok!

If it were an honest mistake that would be one thing. But it feels as though there's an air of "I know best" or that you've been overly cautious. Given she called to check, I'm sure she read the back. So it does seem odd to have managed to give it to him anyway.

YANBU.

ChasedByBees Tue 22-Aug-17 20:00:57

I hope he's OK. If he is screaming in agony I would phone your mother and let her here. May be harsh but she's not taken his health seriously at all and has done something which could kill him. She needs a serious jolt about the severity of this.

EggysMom Tue 22-Aug-17 20:01:00

Even though your son should only be eating the food that you provided, and even though your DM should have known better ... Did you not pack him any antihistamines that you could instruct her to give?

Maybe use this as an education piece, explain the reaction, explain how you have to keep antihistamines handy, and "this is the dose if it should happen again" ... (not that you want it to happen again, but surely better to have her trained?)

IncyWincyGrownUp Tue 22-Aug-17 20:01:07

I'm hoping this was a mistake, and not an idiot twatbastard trying to score points.

Wishing you the safest of journeys.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme Tue 22-Aug-17 20:01:16

God that's awful. What the hell is wrong with her ?

I would be tearing her a new one.

ohfourfoxache Tue 22-Aug-17 20:02:00

Oh shit sad
Genuine mistake or does she not "believe" in allergies?

sonjadog Tue 22-Aug-17 20:02:10

Oh no! I hope it turns out okay. Why on earth did she not read the labels???

Decaffstilltastesweird Tue 22-Aug-17 20:02:44

Yanbu! I hope your DS is ok.

Trollspoopglitter Tue 22-Aug-17 20:04:29

Sorry, she said can he have ice cram and instead of "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MOM, HE CANNOT HAVE ICE CREAM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME, WOMAN"

you calmly replied," You mean Rowntrees Ice Lollies, mother?@

Tazerface Tue 22-Aug-17 20:04:37

@EggysMom - well if OP has instructed her mum to give him antihistamines then she must have provided them?

I hope he's ok OP. Sounds like your mum has a bit of a 'fuss about nothing' kind of mindset.

SparkyBlue Tue 22-Aug-17 20:04:38

I would be livid as well and it sounds like something my mother would do. It might be a good reality check for your mother as all along I bet she thinks you are over exaggerating. I hope your poor DS won't be too badly affected and I hope he will be okay.

Hunkle Tue 22-Aug-17 20:04:44

YANBU I hope he is ok

Xchangedtohideid Tue 22-Aug-17 20:04:57

Wtaf? I would be livid. Never again!!!!! You don't take chances with a child's health with someone who won't realise there is milk in ice cream ffs. Absolutely unbelievable.
I hope he is ok and seriously, never do it again as she clearly can not be trusted and it's not worth the risk.

Dancinginthemidnight Tue 22-Aug-17 20:04:58

I hope your Son is ok. I understand why you're angry. I would be too.

WipsGlitter Tue 22-Aug-17 20:05:29

So she have it to him last night and you're now going to get him? Would the reaction you're expecting nor have occurred by now?

Just stay calm, explain, reinforce. No need to "tear her a new one" - what a revolting expression.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag Tue 22-Aug-17 20:06:32

As a parent of a child will anaphylactic allergies similar to your child, I think you are going OTT,

firstly is he symptomatic? Where is MedPac?

I think your partly to blame also, you advised to give him the foods without knowing the ingredients yourself, if this happens with ds I can goggle the ingredients, as by law all foods now have to be labels and the majority of them you can find online.

TippyTinkleTrousers Tue 22-Aug-17 20:07:07

. Did you not pack him any antihistamines that you could instruct her to give?

Yes! And two epipens!

It was a genuine mistake, she would never ever do it deliberately or with a 'little bit' might not hurt.

Which is why I need peeling down from the ceiling.

Never ever will my kids stay there again (as children at least).

Trollspoopglitter Tue 22-Aug-17 20:07:08

Oh come on iPhone. I have tried every update/setting/international keyboard I can on you. I will return you if you cannot keep my posts on mumsnet half way coherent, like your predecessor

Ruralretreating Tue 22-Aug-17 20:07:30

YANBU. I really hope he's ok. My son has multiple food allergies but mild and I get so cross if someone gives him food he's allergic to. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if the allergies were more serious.

MummySparkle Tue 22-Aug-17 20:08:30

I hope you're dS is okay. I think you have every right to be stuck to the ceiling when you get there. Your mum doesn't appear to be taking this seriously

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 22-Aug-17 20:09:11

It's easy for me to say but it's important to remain calm and just concentrate on your son for now. Ripping into your mum on arrival when emotions are running high will help no one and will create a horrible atmosphere for your son.

The conversation with your mum can wait. It's a good sign that your ds didn't have an immediate reaction. It's possible that his symptoms will be mild. Try not to panic now. Your mum will hopefully have learned an important lesson from this and will be extra vigilant in future. I don't think you should make any decisions regarding her looking after your son in the heat of the moment.

I hope your son is ok.

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