If invited out, is paying for own meal reasonable or not please

[MirandaGoshawk]

Opinions wanted! Friend was invited to a pub for her close friend's (evening) birthday meal. Bottles of wine were provided & there were 12 people in total. At the end of the meal, friend was surprised that they split the bill. She had expected the birthday girl to pay. Is she being unreasonable, or was the birthday girl being tight?

[Holidayhooray]

I would completely expect to pay

[Sirzy]

Personally unless someone specified beforehand they where paying I would always to expecting to pay for myself

[GreenRut]

Would always expect to pay for myself

[SmitheringSmithison]

I'd always expect to pay for myself unless it was expressly said otherwise.

[Gorgosparta]

I would expect to pay, unless told otherwise.

[MagentaRocks]

I would expect to pay for myself. No way would I expect someone else to foot the bill.

[Ttbb]

It's a bit rude to invite people out to dinner and then present them with a bill.

[MaidOfStars]

Depends on the wording of any invitation:
Please come and celebrate my birthday with me - I'm paying.
Shall we go out for some food for my birthday? - normal rules apply.

[GreenTulips]

I would also expect to pay -

[Cheby]

I'd expect to split the bill, definitely.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I'd expect to pay.

And be delighted if I didn't have to.

[QuiteLikely5]

Depends upon the social etiquette.

[drinkyourmilk]

On mn I've seen that people pay for those invited, but in 40 years I've always paid for myself - and in general the person with the birthday /anniversary etc doesn't pay.

[Rogue1234]

I'd expect to pay, and I'd expect the rest of us to split the cost of the meal for the birthday girl too!

[treaclesoda]

I have never in all my life gone to a restaurant and had someone else pick up the bill (unless you count DH paying, but that's family money so doesn't count).

Splitting the bill is totally normal surely?

[grandOlejukeofYork]

Since it's not the 1920's and she wasn't dining with Count Moneybags, of course she should expect to pay for her own meal.

Anyone who thinks someone is going to pay for 12 meals on their birthday has been reading too many Mitford novels.

[SpiritedLondon]

I would expect to pay and in some circumstances I would expect to pay for the birthday girls dinner too - although generally when friends have arranged the dinner for them

[Nuttynoo]

Where do you live? Generally the rule is that the birthday girl never pays for her meal and the others would split the bill to include hers.

[Allthewaves]

I'd expect to pay and pay towards birthday persons meal.

[solarisIsAClassic]

it depends on the wording of the invitation. 'Party' suggests the inviter taking care of the bill. 'Meal to celebrate...' means I'd expect to pay for my share.

[NerrSnerr]

I would always expect to pay. I don't know anyone who could afford to pay for everyone.

[GreenTulips]

It would be different if it was a party and they paid for the food and the guest brought a gift

Did your friend provide a gift?

[Pigface1]

I'd expect to pay for myself, without a doubt - unless the invite had said 'please come out for dinner to celebrate my birthday - my treat' or something similar.

[ThymeLordIsSpartacus]

I would always expect to pay for myself.