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If invited out, is paying for own meal reasonable or not please

(180 Posts)
MirandaGoshawk Tue 22-Aug-17 19:01:40

Opinions wanted! Friend was invited to a pub for her close friend's (evening) birthday meal. Bottles of wine were provided & there were 12 people in total. At the end of the meal, friend was surprised that they split the bill. She had expected the birthday girl to pay. Is she being unreasonable, or was the birthday girl being tight?

Holidayhooray Tue 22-Aug-17 19:02:21

I would completely expect to pay

Sirzy Tue 22-Aug-17 19:02:47

Personally unless someone specified beforehand they where paying I would always to expecting to pay for myself

GreenRut Tue 22-Aug-17 19:03:21

Would always expect to pay for myself

DancesWithOtters Tue 22-Aug-17 19:03:22

Of course friend should split the bill!

Did she think the birthday girl was going to pay for 12 meals?

SmitheringSmithison Tue 22-Aug-17 19:04:09

I'd always expect to pay for myself unless it was expressly said otherwise.

Gorgosparta Tue 22-Aug-17 19:04:13

I would expect to pay, unless told otherwise.

MagentaRocks Tue 22-Aug-17 19:04:41

I would expect to pay for myself. No way would I expect someone else to foot the bill.

Ttbb Tue 22-Aug-17 19:04:51

It's a bit rude to invite people out to dinner and then present them with a bill.

MaidOfStars Tue 22-Aug-17 19:04:54

Depends on the wording of any invitation:
Please come and celebrate my birthday with me - I'm paying.
Shall we go out for some food for my birthday? - normal rules apply.

GreenTulips Tue 22-Aug-17 19:05:38

I would also expect to pay -

Cheby Tue 22-Aug-17 19:05:45

I'd expect to split the bill, definitely.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 22-Aug-17 19:05:51

I'd expect to pay.

And be delighted if I didn't have to.

QuiteLikely5 Tue 22-Aug-17 19:06:06

Depends upon the social etiquette.

drinkyourmilk Tue 22-Aug-17 19:06:17

On mn I've seen that people pay for those invited, but in 40 years I've always paid for myself - and in general the person with the birthday /anniversary etc doesn't pay.

Rogue1234 Tue 22-Aug-17 19:06:22

I'd expect to pay, and I'd expect the rest of us to split the cost of the meal for the birthday girl too!

treaclesoda Tue 22-Aug-17 19:06:34

I have never in all my life gone to a restaurant and had someone else pick up the bill (unless you count DH paying, but that's family money so doesn't count).

Splitting the bill is totally normal surely?

grandOlejukeofYork Tue 22-Aug-17 19:06:37

Since it's not the 1920's and she wasn't dining with Count Moneybags, of course she should expect to pay for her own meal.

Anyone who thinks someone is going to pay for 12 meals on their birthday has been reading too many Mitford novels.

SpiritedLondon Tue 22-Aug-17 19:06:54

I would expect to pay and in some circumstances I would expect to pay for the birthday girls dinner too - although generally when friends have arranged the dinner for them

Nuttynoo Tue 22-Aug-17 19:07:14

Where do you live? Generally the rule is that the birthday girl never pays for her meal and the others would split the bill to include hers.

Allthewaves Tue 22-Aug-17 19:07:26

I'd expect to pay and pay towards birthday persons meal.

solarisIsAClassic Tue 22-Aug-17 19:07:35

it depends on the wording of the invitation. 'Party' suggests the inviter taking care of the bill. 'Meal to celebrate...' means I'd expect to pay for my share.

NerrSnerr Tue 22-Aug-17 19:07:36

I would always expect to pay. I don't know anyone who could afford to pay for everyone.

GreenTulips Tue 22-Aug-17 19:07:37

It would be different if it was a party and they paid for the food and the guest brought a gift

Did your friend provide a gift?

Pigface1 Tue 22-Aug-17 19:07:38

I'd expect to pay for myself, without a doubt - unless the invite had said 'please come out for dinner to celebrate my birthday - my treat' or something similar.

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