Today has been a devastating day at work. I'm an HR Manager and today we learned that one of our young staff members was in a coma and then we learned later on that she passed away. Her death was untimely, avoidable and it has hit the staff who worked with her very hard indeed. Some of them socialised outside of work. I have spent most of today supporting staff with their grief, communicating the sad news to colleagues away from the office, whilst trying to manage my own emotions. I was supporting this particular staff member recently with some personal/home issues so I am keeping a lot of information inside that I wasn't able to share and the conversations I've had with her are haunting me.
My DP of almost 3 years is very loving and thoughtful, usually. We don't live together but see each other 1 night a week and most weekends, with me usually staying at his. We live about 40 minutes drive from each other.
He is aware of what I'm going through today and is empathetic, he called me on the way home from work to check I was ok. He said I could go over to his if I wanted to for a cuddle/support, shoulder etc.
I left his this morning for work and have then came straight home, because I wanted to see my son and give him a hug (he's the same age as the deceased colleague). I'd also been away visiting a friend and only got back Saturday night so I hadn't been home since Tuesday and needed to unpack, do washing, get food shopping etc.
So, AIBU to think that perhaps for once he should have made the effort to come and see me? I know he would say that it's difficult for him because he would have to be up at 6am to go get his work gear ready and get on his job for 7.30am (he's a self employed plasterer/general builder). I can't help feeling disappointed that he's not even offered to come over to me but can't help thinking perhaps it's me BU.....
AIBU?
AIBU to think DP should have come over to support me?
Cygnet44 · 21/08/2017 20:43
Thanks everyone, that has been helpful and I am taking care of myself. I should have asked him to come over but can't help but think he could have at least offered, without me having to ask if he would. I know I would have if it were the other way round.
He has just text to ask if I'm alright so I know he is concerned and thinking about me. I really don't want to let this be an issue, I'm disappointed and perhaps I should just let him know this.
Like most of us today, I'm still in shock and am dreading going to the office tomorrow as I will have to start sorting out the practicalities and still be supportive to everyone 
I'm sorry to hear your very sad news
I'm with the others re: your dp; I think he probably thought you wanted space. It sounds like if you'd asked him, he'd have come to yours. 
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