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To stop frequenting this restaurant?

(100 Posts)
FannyTheFlamingo Mon 21-Aug-17 13:05:24

DP and I go to a particular restaurant once a week or so and have been for a while. Everyone there knows us, makes us feel very welcome, always willing to change a dish for fussy DP etc.. But there's this one waitress, who is so flirty with DP it's pissing me off and bordering on embarrassing. DP is completely blind to it (so he says) and I'm not worried about him reciprocating but sometimes I feel it's a bit disrespectful to me. The last time we went there, she went into the kitchen to get 2 new members of staff out to look at him with a 'that's who I've been telling you about' gesture. AIBU to not want to go there anymore or am I being over sensitive?

AlexaAmbidextra Mon 21-Aug-17 13:06:46

I wouldn't be bothered. He goes home with you doesn't he? Let her look.

PinkHeart5911 Mon 21-Aug-17 13:07:12

She should be more discreet but it wouldn't bother me too much, I mean his with you so she can look if she wants he'll still be with you

Cheekyandfreaky Mon 21-Aug-17 13:09:49

This would bother me- it impacts on your enjoyment as a customer. I think it is inappropriate and would complain.

user1499786242 Mon 21-Aug-17 13:14:00

It would bother me and we would stop going
But to be fair I am abit of a jealous/crazy/insecure/twat
I can openly admit that haha

If it was the other way round would your partner be happy?
Really depends what type of people you are...

SummerRoberts Mon 21-Aug-17 13:18:11

It would irritate me. Especially I I enjoyed everything else about the place and wanted to keep going there.
Is there a manager there that you're friendly with and could have a quiet word with? It's quite unprofessional of her.

TitsalinaBumSquash Mon 21-Aug-17 13:21:47

It would bother me a lot, she's being unprofessional and disrespectful, if it were a man doing it to you he'd be classed as sleazy and a creep, there's no difference in this situation.

Mrscropley Mon 21-Aug-17 13:22:22

Make sure to add a few pda to your trip. . . She will stay away then. .

Pigface1 Mon 21-Aug-17 13:22:59

That would really bother me - not because I'd see her as a threat or anything, but because it's sleazy and really really disrespectful to paying customers to openly perv on them and/or their partners. I wouldn't go anymore - that's just not on.

That1950sMum Mon 21-Aug-17 13:24:55

It is rude of her and not very professional, but I think id be quite flattered. Have a quiet word with the manager though if it bothers you.

ThePants999 Mon 21-Aug-17 13:26:15

Just speak to the manager.

Bluntness100 Mon 21-Aug-17 13:27:16

How bizzare getting people out to look st him so brazenly. Are you sure that's what she was doing? She wasn't pointing you all out as regulars and that she's not just being friendly,when she talks to him?

I only ask because I have known women where another women, especially an attractive one, smiles and jokes with their husband and they think it's flirting when everyone else can see it's not even remotely, because they have jealousy and self esteem issues.

It's the getting new members of staff out to look at him publicly that makes me think you've misread this in some way....

Twistmeandturnme Mon 21-Aug-17 13:35:30

Is he taking other women in there on the evenings he isn't with you? Is she actually flirting with him or behaving oddly because 'she knows something you don't know'.
Either way it's all far too much intrigue for a mid-week dinner place. I'd switch restaurants

crookedpinky Mon 21-Aug-17 13:37:16

I wouldn't like this either. Time to try another restaurant?

Namesarehard Mon 21-Aug-17 13:37:52

I'd call her out on it.

PotteringAlong Mon 21-Aug-17 13:40:32

Does she want to show them the good looking bloke or the fussy twat who comes every week, knows what's on the menu and still asks them to change it instead of just going somewhere with something he will eat?

ReanimatedSGB Mon 21-Aug-17 13:40:56

Get a hobby, then you will be less obsessed with warning other women off your (probably entirely average) DP.

Or, stamp your little foot and make a big fuss. If you want to end up on one of those Reddit threads about unmitigated twats who make restaurant staff's lives so entertaining.

flickertee Mon 21-Aug-17 13:41:33

Hi OP I get this a lot as DH is "famous" ahem

Once the waitress forgot to even take MY order as she was so focused on DH angry

It's a shame if it would put you off going to a restaurant that you otherwise enjoy....

If you see her pointing and chatting about him again I would DEFINITELY call her over and ask, very politely, "is there a problem?" She needs to be called out on it otherwise she will just carry on

ReanimatedSGB Mon 21-Aug-17 13:41:56

Potteringalong: Oh good one!

QuimReaper Mon 21-Aug-17 13:47:07

flicker you know you're going to be deluged with people asking for clues now, don't you grin

PollyFlint Mon 21-Aug-17 13:47:48

Are you absolutely sure you've actually interpreted the situation correctly?

Because there are some people who are a bit obsessed with the idea that everyone fancies their partner. My ex was always claiming that men were flirting with me or 'eyeing me up' but he was talking absolute nonsense. The things he insisted were 'flirting' were just ordinary friendliness or politeness and as for the 'eyeing up', it was all in his head. I have also been accused, back when I did bar work, of flirting with someone's boyfriend ... a man I wouldn't have touched with a ten-foot pole, let alone flirted with.

Fluffypinkpyjamas Mon 21-Aug-17 13:49:27

That could have been written by my Dsis! She has this exact problem! So we all went one night for dinner and it was happening exactly as my Dsis said it was and it was awful, cringeworthy in fact. Really disrespectful and as Cheeky says, it spoils it for you and so I would say something to her directly or the manager but beware, waitresses get to your food before you do.

SoupDragon Mon 21-Aug-17 13:55:00

I wonder what the responses would have been if it was a male waiter flirting with a female customer.

flickertee Mon 21-Aug-17 13:56:20

Haha no one interesting Quim, honest grin

BitOutOfPractice Mon 21-Aug-17 13:56:26

<hangs around waiting for flickertee to spill>

It wouldn't bother me tbh OP. In fact I'd find it funny

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