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To think it's rude and ignorant to call someone the wrong name?

(39 Posts)
EdgeoftheDesert Sun 20-Aug-17 21:29:38

If you have known them for 9 years.

I know her through my brother in laws side of the family (sisters sister in law), I've been with her to many birthdays, christenings, Christmases, hen dos.

She still calls me the wrong name.

Aquamarine1029 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:32:37

Have you corrected her?

StillDrivingMeBonkers Sun 20-Aug-17 21:33:20

Don't respond. I don't. :-D

My particular pet hate is elongation of my name, incorrectly.
Eg, if my name is 'Beth' people persisting in calling me Elizabeth, when my name is in fact Bethany, IYSWIM.

WingsofNylon Sun 20-Aug-17 21:34:17

Totally wrong or a mispronounced?

JeNeBaguetteRien Sun 20-Aug-17 21:34:42

This is one of my pet hates. It's so rude. Can you call her by a slightly wrong name?

In my workplace there are people who can't/won't pronounce a few names properly, it's so irritating to hear. There is a Susan who gets called Suzanne and Julies being called Julia, that kind of thing. Also one of the reception staff who is very friendly and greets everyone but shortens all their names whether they like it or not.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:36:43

I have one customer I have had since starting hairdressing (So 10+ years)
Still gets my name wrong. I've tried correcting her, my staff has, I've tried ignoring her. When she's rang up for an appointment using my wrong name my staff have said nobody works here with that name.

My name rhymes with another so do sound similiar. So for example my name is Jess but she calls me Tess. I've given up correcting her.

Berrybakecake1 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:44:28

how wrong is she saying it? Like a totally different name or mispronounced?
Our old neighbours daughter calls my ds Daniel. He is not a Daniel and his name doesn't remotely sound like it. When I've corrected her she said well he looks like a Daniel. hmm as if that makes it ok.
My dentist calls me Beverley again doesn't sound like my name and makes me feel like I look 50+ ( not that Beverley's are all over 50).
My dsis gets her name mispronounced. Think Nicole as in pole,hole etc but some say Nicol as in hol , doll. Gets on her nerves.
I would be petty and come up with a new name for said acquaintance.

EdgeoftheDesert Sun 20-Aug-17 21:49:55

It's like JeNeBaguetteRien said, it's like my name is Julia but she calls me Julie. Other people around her are using my correct name, so I'm unsure why it doesn't twig.

Aquamarine1029 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:54:44

But have YOU corrected her? She could have a hearing problem, or she could honestly not realize she's saying the wrong name, especially if when she sees you is amongst crowds. If you have personally corrected her more than once, then you could assume she's either stupid or rude, but until you correct her yourself, to her face, I think you're jumping to conclusions.

pinkiepie1 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:06:24

In bed definitely!!!! grin (sorry I couldn't resist)

Day to day not so much. I get called about 10 different names, off my parents before they get to mime. I get all the siblings, the grandkids, even the dog occasionally. Actually off my mil too. And my name is pretty common, well it was when I was born doubt it is nowadays.

When people have said my name wrong in the past, I just say, u mean pinkie! And laugh, they usually tut, and go red saying sorry long day/ half asleep. I laugh it off.

holeinmyheart Sun 20-Aug-17 22:08:27

I have a extremly unusual name. I have lost count of the number of times it has been misspelt or mispronounced, but I don't care much, as I think life is too short.
To illustrate, I gave a hefty amount to the Church for the roof and they wrote me a thank you letter and misspelt my name. I don't care and I don't think it's rude or arrogant. Unless you think they are doing it to deliberately wind you up.

Most people aren't plotting at home are they? As in....mmmm I will deliberately call Edgeofthedesert her by her wrong name to see how much I can annoy her. No surely not. Your in laws are wrapped up in their own little lives and problems , and don't give you and your name a thought.
I like your posting name by the way. It's cool. Maybe you could change your name in RL to that.
If it bothers you that much, you can tell them nicely.

tickingoffthetodolist Sun 20-Aug-17 22:11:58

I think the difference is holeinmyheart that this person has known the OP for 9 years and still calls her the wrong name.

It wasn't a one off from someone she'd just met.

NameChange1717 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:12:51

It is ignorant, OP, and I sympathise hugely.

My name is Rowenna (row - when - ah) and I constantly have people say 'Roweeeeena' or (worse IMO because if isn't even a fucking name!) Row-Anna; as if my parents meant to call me Joanna and just stuck a R there instead hmm

It is completely my issue but it disproportionately angers me. I'm very relaxed about most things but not this. And I have literally stood there, over and over, with some people, having the following conversation:
'Rowenna.'
'Ooooh, Row-EEEE-na ...'
'No, Rowenna.'
'Row-Anna?'
'RowEHna.'
'Row-Anna, Row-Anna, that's a nice name ...'
'No, it's ROWENNA. Like sienna, but with Row instead of 'Si.'
'Rowanna.'

It drives me absolutely dolally. Strangely, the Rowanna and Rowena confusion only happens in the place I grew up with. As soon as I moved away, people started just saying Rowenna and that was that. Now I have moved back and am battling with the Roweeeeenas and RowAnnas from my childhood hmm

WyfOfBathe Sun 20-Aug-17 22:22:59

At my old job, one of my colleague "couldn't pronounce" one colleague's name and called her by the English version, think Agata but he called her Agatha. She constantly corrected him & I always felt like I should apologise to her on his behalf (just because we're both British, I suppose)

worse IMO because if isn't even a fucking name!) Row-Anna There was a character called Roanna on In The Club.

BackforGood Sun 20-Aug-17 22:30:22

YABU.
People aren't doing it deliberately.
Some people may not have heard it correctly. Some people have poor memories.
It is only rude if they are deliberately calling a person something to annoy them, which seems unlikely in the vast majority of cases.

Seeyamonday Sun 20-Aug-17 22:37:15

I once worked for a miserable old hag who called me "thingy", I don't have a difficult name, i took it for two months getting increasingly more annoyed until I lost it... She didnt do it again.

NameChange1717 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:39:48

It's not really a well known or established name though wyf!

CanadaMoose91 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:49:12

People in the UK tend to get my name wrong because it's uncommon here. I correct them until they get it right. The second people try to shorten it, I add the ending. The first part of my name is a food and I'd rather not be called by it.

MissJC Sun 20-Aug-17 23:10:07

My Nanna calls me Jeff quite a bit. I am a 27 year old woman who doesn't look remotely like my uncle. Although we share a first name initial.

She gets our names muddled and it still makes me laugh every time grin

ThoseCowsAreFarAway Sun 20-Aug-17 23:19:09

My mother in law often calls me one of her other daughter in laws names - I'll respond by saying 'yes <insert her own sister that she doesn't like name>'. Call her a slightly wrong name and make a joke of it!

holeinmyheart Sun 20-Aug-17 23:20:58

I have people who I have known for more than 9 years and still call me something. i suppose the crunch is whether you care or not.

Everyone who I really care about pronounces my name perfectly. I don't give a flying F about the rest really.

MeltorPeltor Sun 20-Aug-17 23:21:16

We went to a wedding recently where the father of the groom pronounced the bride's name incorrectly, he was very loudly but politely corrected by gathered crowd... he must have been doing it for years! :D

Mum2OneTeen Sun 20-Aug-17 23:25:45

It's laziness not to try to remember someone's name. I wonder if some people 'forget' so as to have a little dig (you're not important enough to me to remember your name).

Bit like people who are always late, but that's another story.

Both are disrespectful in my book.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sun 20-Aug-17 23:27:20

My boss ' s wife left him and he got a new girlfriend who he implanted in the workplace. She seemed to take delight in calling us by other employees names, as though we were all interchangeable. I called her my boss's ex wife's name every time she did it to me. She soon stopped. I dont woek there any more grin

gonnabreakmyrustycage Sun 20-Aug-17 23:36:49

I get called Sarah and Zara all the time. How hard is it to say Sara?!

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