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To be upset at friend not offering a lift?

(464 Posts)
jenniferl1983 Sun 20-Aug-17 00:28:48

Just home from a cinema trip with a friend. I don't drive but she passed her test a couple of years ago. When we went on nights out prior to this we got the bus or shared taxis or if one of us was picked by a relative offered the other a lift too. Normally we meet up in the centre of town (5 min walk home for her/20 min bus ride home for me) but tonight we went to a cinema the opposite side of town.

There is a cinema much closer to me (20 min walk at most) but she has a prepaid cinema card which is for a different chain so we have to use cinemas that she has the card for.

She drove to the cinema tonight and I got 2 buses and had a 50 min journey there. I had worked out the buses previously and there was a chance I could get the last bus home from the cinema (22.58) if the film finished promptly however the last bus from the town centre was due to leave 2 mins before that bus got to town.

I didn't want to ask for a lift directly but told her I would have to leave straightaway and that it was the final bus etc but she just said the film should finish in time for me to catch that bus. I feel a but upset that she didn't offer and was happy to leave me to get 2 buses home at 11pm at night. I always ask her to text me when she is home when she has walked but didn't get the same from her. Still no text to make sure I got home safe now.

For clarity it's very rare she gives me a lift, maybe 4 times since she has passed and I have always offered a bit of petrol money or paid for parking. If she had dropped me off it would have added 15/20 minutes to her journey.

In the end I managed to catch the bus from the cinema to the town centre but missed the bus from town to home. My DP ended up waking our daughter up to get me as I didn't want to walk 30 mins alone in the dark or pay a high taxi fare.

I am considering our friendship but maybe I'm being over dramatic?

OfficerVanHalen Sun 20-Aug-17 00:31:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Featherbag Sun 20-Aug-17 00:31:59

Why on earth didn't you just ask her for a lift?!

AndNowItIsSeven Sun 20-Aug-17 00:32:35

I can't get over the fact your dd was woken from her bed to save on a taxi fare for a night out.

Twitchingdog Sun 20-Aug-17 00:33:53

I would not meeting her at that cinema anymore .
I would only be meeting at place where I get home from easy.

CremeFresh Sun 20-Aug-17 00:35:16

I think it was a bit mean of her. I certainly wouldn't let a friend get buses home if I had a car.

scottishdiem Sun 20-Aug-17 00:35:34

30 min walk is a high taxi fare?

1. Next time ask
or
2. Change cinema

I think though that considering your friendship over this, without even talking to her about it, is epically entitled drama llama territory.

LailasMummyx Sun 20-Aug-17 00:35:44

That was very mean of your friend, if I was her I would not want too see my friend get two bus journeys alone this time of night hmm sorry this happened to you OP!

KimchiLaLa Sun 20-Aug-17 00:36:08

Just out of interest, why don't you drive?

Butterymuffin Sun 20-Aug-17 00:36:50

Yes, I'd say I could only go to that cinema if she was able to pick you up and drop you home, for some petrol money. Just put it out there. If she says no, her choice but then you won't be going.

SleepingStandingUp Sun 20-Aug-17 00:37:14

A 30 minute walk shouldn't cost that much in a cab, certainly against waking your sleeping child.

You should have asked for a lift when you were planning the date

ZenNudist Sun 20-Aug-17 00:37:16

Just say you cant go to that cinema late night again

Or maybe dont bother with it at all. Just meet up in mutually convenient place.

She will soon get the message when she hasnt got company to use her cinema card.

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Aug-17 00:38:18

This will sound harsh, but she's not your taxi driver.

I don't drive either and that's no-one else's 'problem'.

Either factor in the cost of a taxi, or tell her you'll need to use a cinema nearer to home next time.

You should never expect a lift from anyone.

CorbynsBumFlannel Sun 20-Aug-17 00:39:12

I wouldn't expect a lift if it was 20 mins out of the way tbh. And I also wouldn't agree to go to a cinema so far away for a film so late knowing I'd be cutting it fine with buses. And I wouldn't have my sleeping child woken to save on cab fare. Yabu.

SweetLuck Sun 20-Aug-17 00:39:24

YABU for expecting your friend to text you to see if you're home safe, what's that about? Why would you not be safe? Where do you live, the ganglands of Mexico? confused

AvaCrowder2 Sun 20-Aug-17 00:40:56

I don't drive and never ask for lifts, only accept them if the driver is adamant or my dc will suffer. I'd have walked the 30 minutes. But if people suggest places that are a pain for me to get to under my own steam, sometimes I say no.

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Aug-17 00:42:17

You don't have to be in the 'ganglands of Mexico' to be unsafe walking the streets at night.

You just have to live in a particularly crime ridden area, which is not difficult in many parts of the UK.

Having said that, as an adult it's up to the OP to keep herself safe by factoring in the taxi fare, or telling her friend she wants to go to a more local cinema.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 20-Aug-17 00:42:18

I'm baffled as to why you couldn't have just walked for 20 minutes after you missed the bus.

You don't drive, fine. That isn't your friends problem. I'd detest feeling like an unpaid taxi driver.

jenniferl1983 Sun 20-Aug-17 00:44:14

Thanks for the replies.

I don't drive because I feel I'd be a liability on the road tbh! I have bad spacial awareness and would be very nervous on the road.

Re the taxi fare the last time I got a taxi back from town on a Saturday night it was £8. That's a hours wage for my DP.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece Sun 20-Aug-17 00:46:46

I don't drive...the only person who's problem that is, is mine...I don't expect anyone to go out of their way to give me a lift...why didn't you just tell her you couldn't go to that cinema?!

And I can't believe you had your child woken up just because you didn't want to walk alone or pay a taxi fare...how would you manage if you lived alone!?

WorraLiberty Sun 20-Aug-17 00:46:53

Why is it 'baffling' that the OP couldn't just have walked for 20 minutes after missing the bus, at gone midnight?

Surely it's not too far a stretch of the imagination to think she might live in a particularly rough area?

There's no way in a million years I'd feel safe walking the streets alone at this time of night, where I live.

Which is why as a non driving adult, I'm responsible for seeing myself home safely in a taxi.

jenniferl1983 Sun 20-Aug-17 00:47:15

Oh just double checked and Google Maps says a 44 min walk from town to home, sorry have never walked it so just guesstimated.

CorbynsBumFlannel Sun 20-Aug-17 00:47:24

If you can't afford a taxi and are going to be in danger of missing the last bus I suggest you decline the invitation next time. Hardly fair to disturb your dds sleep.

Rk123 Sun 20-Aug-17 00:47:47

Next time just tell her you don't want to go far it is not a easy journey! I would just switch my phone off to see if she really is concerned about you. You can just say oh my battery finished I was tired from my long journey and got in to bed. This may be a wake up call.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece Sun 20-Aug-17 00:48:18

So you're happy to spend the money at the cinema but not on a taxi even if your child has to be woken up and dragged out at 11pm?!

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