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Dad hasn't met grandson yet

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Michaelsone1 · 19/08/2017 22:09

Basically that...my dad hasn't shown any interest in meeting his grandson (3 months old) I'm
30, and since I was a toddler he's been in and out of my life. Never paid child maintenance, yet had luxury travels around the globe. Given my child maintenance to my stepmum for her shopping trips openly infront of me. Insulted me as a child, called me ugly and a clown etc. Going into adult years we really rebuilt our relationship.

Last 5 years there's been my new relationship, a death in family, my 2 new children and it's brought us so much closer, although we wouldn't see each other all the time, I felt we'd moved forward and left the past behind and he had changed. I now have a new baby DS2 and me and my dad planned for him to stay with us when he was born. My dad lives in a bed sit so we can't stay there as nowhere for the 5 of us to sit for the evening etc and my dad is a big drinker who expects us to stay down his local all night. He was really excited about staying when the new baby came along, he stayed last Christmas and loved it. But then when he was born he said he didn't want to stay and just would come for the day. I thought it strange but said it would be lovely to see him anyway. He then cancelled because of the Manchester bombing, again thought strange as not sure what that had to do with the visit and I didn't ask. I don't live in Manchester either. He has recently retired so I thought he'd soon be up to see the baby, his new grandchild. We then scheduled another visit, again I said he could stay the weekend but he declined. He then sent a vague text to say he busy and had to cancel the visit but would let me know when he can do. I said ok that's a shame but hopefully see u soon. I thought the ball is in his court now and waited for him to make contact. 6 weeks past and i hadn't had so much as a text from him to ask how the new baby was, or me, or any of us since we had him, despite me sending pictures to him etc to keep him included. Nothing. I sent him a Father's Day card and he text to say it was pretty special as it was the only one he got from any of his 4 kids. 7 weeks pass and still not a word or visit from him. My daughters birthday and not a peep from him, no text, nothing.

Then I get a message asking if someone's upset me as he's not heard a word from me in months. I explained all of the above and pointed out that I found it strange that he hasn't made any attempt to see his new grandchild and he is now 3 months old. We didn't even get a card when he was born. Instead of taking ownership of this he said 'I don't hear much from your brother either' as if he was putting it back to me. I again offered him to stay or come up for the day and we'd make the most of it, he said the traffic on the motorway by him is bad lately so he wants to wait for it all to die down. He then said he sent my daughter a card (3 days after her birthday this was) but he'd put our surname on it, no explanation as to why. He knows full well my children have their daddy's surname. When I got the card he also put inside 'love from your REAL grandad' with a big circle around the REAL. I don't understand this.

Too much drama, too much being let down again like I was when I was a kid. I wonder why the hell any parent wouldn't want to see their grandchild! I wonder why max an hour extra traffic would stop u from making the 2 hour journey. He seems almost delusional and I'm thinking if he doesn't visit this time despite our warming invite, then that's it of our relationship. Or should I keep giving chances?

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StillDrivingMeBonkers · 19/08/2017 22:12

Do you think, perhaps, he cant deal with travelling?