AIBU to change my engagement ring?

[Celestia26]

Another engagement ring thread.....Sorry! And possibly a bit strange.....?

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. When he proposed, it was with his mother's ring which was lovely, however it was not quite my style and also she and his father got divorced, so I wasn't keen on having her ring as my engagement ring.
We went out and chose a lovely ring together. However, I didn't consider the shape of it when picking our wedding rings and they don't really fit together, as the engagement ring has a curved shape and my wedding ring is a standard 'straight' ring, so I don't actually wear my ring now as they just don't fit right. I have been considering getting it redesigned for a while, as I would really like to wear it. I was thinking that while I am doing this, I could possibly use the diamonds and gold from his mother's ring too, so that I can combine the two (his mother's ring has sentimental value as it was the ring he proposed with). What are people's thoughts on this? Does it sound like an OK thing to do? I just want a ring that I can wear, that retains all the meaning and sentiment of him proposing.

[Happycow]

I think it sounds like a perfect idea.
It's a shame to have your engagement ring stuck in a drawer because it doesn't fit with your wedding ring, so worth redesigning just so you can actually wear it!
Reusing the same stone and gold is a perfect way to retain the sentimental value while making it personal to you .

[Alittlepotofrosie]

If you change mils ring then it's not the same ring anymore.

[scottishdiem]

This is very different to the other thread. I would speak to your husband about it as your idea has clear merit.

DP and I have different wedding bands now that we did when we got married. Perhaps, if husband is not happy with changing his mums ring then you can the correct style of band to match the ring?

[gamerpigeon]

I wear my engagement ring on the other hand as it doesn't fit with my wedding band. But your idea is nice!

[NeedMoreSleepOrSugar]

So you want a third engagement ring? Yabvu

No point in having a ring you can't wear, although combining the metal in them may not be possible - the jeweller will go through this with you (I was going to do something similar years ago)

Have you thought of just having your wedding ring altered to fit the shape of your engagement ring? We bought a straight wedding band and had it altered and it fits perfectly. It may be a much easier option.

As for the original ring, perhaps use it for earrings or another piece of jewelry?

[deadringer]

If you love your engagement ring why not have your wedding ring altered to fit, it's likely to be simpler if it's a plain band. How would your Mil feel about you taking her ring apart?

[Celestia26]

My wedding ring has a design that would be a bit more difficult to change, also it is engraved inside which I don't want to change. If I can't use the metal I will perhaps see if I can at least use the diamonds. I wore her ring on my wedding day as well as my own so alot of this is down to sentiment!
And a 3rd ring does seem a bit cheeky doesn't it? 😂 ideally I want to end up with just the one ring that I love.

[Celestia26]

Mil is fine with it. When she gave DH her engagement and wedding rings, she said we could sell them to pay for another ring which was sweet. Instead I just wear her ring on my other hand. I think she'll like the idea, but I'll ask her.

[Pestilentialone]

This lady does amazing re-models. She is on maternity leave until Jan next year, can you wait?

[Celestia26]

Not in any hurry. Thanks for the link, I'll have a look!

[Flyinggeese]

OP if this was me I'd wear my MIL's ring on my right hand (if you like the design) and have my engagement ring altered so it's a non-curved design to fit flush against the wedding ring.

Nothing wrong with saying you love both rings, but realise the curved design of the one you chose together was a slight mistake and you'd love to have a jeweller fix that so you can actually wear it.

[Minkyfluffster]

Erm when you got married why did you not think to find a wedding ring that fitted with your engagement ring.

Have either or both rings altered so they fit. If you are just lusting after s new ring then bastardise the mothers?

[FuzzyOwl]

Sounds a perfectly ok thing to do to me. Then again, I think that under normal circumstances it is fine to change your engagement ring to one you like.

My wedding ring is straight on one side but curved to fit my engagement ring on the other. It means if I want to that I can wear my eternity ring as well, which wouldn't otherwise fit well on the same finger. So you could also consider getting a thin ring to go in between your engagement and wedding rings, so that it means you don't have a gap.

[Flyinggeese]

Minky you little charmer!

When I got married I had a 'wavy' engagement ring, I.e. two diamonds offset diagonally. My wedding band was made with a curve cut out to fit around the stones. Great when tried on in the shop, great for a few hours, but they never stayed perfectly aligned all day. Customised wedding bands are not always the answer. Also, we're not all perfect and make the right decisions every time, it's not always possible to know these things without trial and error.

[Celestia26]

Minkyfluffster thats a bit harsh! Definitely not lusting after a new ring, I was thinking that whilst I am remodelling the old ring I could try and incorporate hers too, which would actually be a nice idea? And the misfitting of the 2 rings was a complete oversight. I found a wedding ring I loved and didn't think that the fact that they didn't fit perfectly would be a problem. It was only when I was wearing them together full time that it was a problem, obviously not something I would have tried out before I was married 😕.

[GetOffTheTableMabel]

How do you think your dh will feel? I think that if I had 2 meaningful rings which were not being used, my dh would probably be really pleased by the idea of a remodel. I think your dh's's opinion is the only one that counts (aside from yours). It doesn't seem at all grabby or inappropriate to me.

[Celestia26]

DH is happy to do whatever I want. He just wants me to wear them lol. He's not as sentimental as I am either, so he's not offended by me changing our ring, or his mums ring.

[yorkshireyummymummy]

I have a German friend who had her wedding and engagement rings totally redesigned into something more ' her'. Her rings are beautiful and she has no regrets as she now wears them with pleasure. It's still the same gold and diamonds that she was married with, they just look a bit different. My advice is go for it- what have you got to loose? And I bet your MIL will love whatever you have done because you will be wearing them with happiness.

[HeddaGarbled]

If your H is OK with it all then it's OK to do this. However, you do sound a bit fussy. To reject 2 rings, one of which you actually chose yourself is pushing it a bit. Try and be happy with the third one, yeah?

[NataliaOsipova]

I can see what you mean about the one straight/one curved thing, but I still think they'd look nice together as your wedding ring is a very classic style and would set anything else off nicely. Picture if you can stand to?

[Celestia26]

YorkshireYummyMummy good to know I'm not the only one who would consider this. I think his mum will like the idea, she wasn't even expecting us to keep the rings.

[Celestia26]

HeddaGarbled, his mums ring was also quite damaged when we got it, add in the fact that they got divorced I didn't feel good about using it. The ring we chose, I love. It just doesn't fit with my wedding band. Really not being greedy or anything! Plenty of people 'upgrade' their engagement rings at a later date. That's not what I'm doing, just looking to merge together 2 meaningful rings.

[Celestia26]

Here is the ring I chose alongside my wedding ring.

[Celestia26]

And here is Mil ring.