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AIBU?

Potty training SOS

70 replies

AloeVeraSeeYaCilla · 19/08/2017 17:59

Posting for traffic.

Little boy of 2.9. Tried potty training last month and after two or three days we gave up as he wasn't getting it. Started again this week and he seemed to finally be getting it. Nursery reported back that he was doing well and they were taking him to the toilet every 20-30 minutes. At home he's not been as cooperative. I'm trying to take him to the loo every half hour but also have a baby to look after. Problem is I've asked for advice from quite a few people and now my head is confused!! To sum up, he sometimes wees when taken to the loo but he'll only go to the toilet if there's a reward in it for him. To me he should want or need to go. I ask him if he needs to go, he insists he doesn't and then wees in underwear. As he's weeing he says he needs to go to the toilet but it's too late.

So do I:

Stop and revert back to nappies and try again in a month - my gut feeling.
Carry on and just keep persevering. MIL thinks I should as returning to nappies again will confuse him again.

I know I'm asking for more advice which will probably confuse me more but I really don't know what to do.

Don't want to drip feed the story but in very tired so may have missed bits out.

OP posts:

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AloeVeraSeeYaCilla · 19/08/2017 17:59

2 years 9 months*

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 19/08/2017 18:00

Stop and try again in a month.

FrogsSitonLogs · 19/08/2017 18:03

Have you not got a potty instead of taking him to the toilet? I'm potty training my youngest currently and I put the potty near him so he can see it and keep just asking him. I don't sit him on it regularly as I want him to recognise when he needs it. Also, at home I keep him without clothes on apart from a t shirt so I can get him on the potty quicker.

Mrscropley · 19/08/2017 18:03

TV/iPad / is your friend.
I let ds have TV on, paused at intervals and he had to at least sit on the potty and try for a wee before it went back on.
3 weeks on no accidents and in pants even away from home.
He is 3 next month and starts nursery then.

VeryPunny · 19/08/2017 18:04

We've just done my DS who is a v. Similar age. We used a Smartie or a sticker to get him to sit on the potty whenever we wanted him to. A few accidents the first day or two, then by day 3 pretty much everything was going in the potty - but we were taking him every hour with a Smartie if he was reluctant. We are now two weeks in and he is dry - takes himself when he needs to go and not a Smartie or sticker in sigh, and no accidents in over a week. I think it's too much to expect them to recognise the need to go in the first week or so -even when DS knew he needed to go he didn't always make it in time.

VeryPunny · 19/08/2017 18:06

I also think you need to give it a week - two or three days isn't enough to get it for a lot of kids.

FrogsSitonLogs · 19/08/2017 18:13

3 days definitely isn't enough, and I used chocolate buttons every time he went in his potty. Bribery works.

QuackDuckQuack · 19/08/2017 18:14

I'd go with chocolate buttons, it really helps as positive reinforcement. Wanting to go isn't much of an incentive at 2. You could also try pull ups as clearing up accidents is a pita.

Lovelilies · 19/08/2017 18:14

Sorry no help here, my 3.5 yo DS is still in nappies. He point blank refuses to engage with potty training

Allthewaves · 19/08/2017 18:15

I potty trained mine with choc stars - 1 for wee, 2 for poo. Early days there was lots of weeing but tbh it tailed off after 3 weeks and he was going without choc stars

Crunchymum · 19/08/2017 18:16

Try again in another month.

As a rule of thumb, if there has been no improvement (and still lots of accidents) after 2-3 days then it's best to shelve it for a while.

Twig45 · 19/08/2017 18:17

For the first 2 weeks I don't ask I just take them every hour or two and give a lot of praise - after few days you can lengthen the intervals and they start recognising when they need to go ask ask for themselves

Queenioqueenio · 19/08/2017 18:17

Yes to bribery with sweets for this. I think you need to persevere, it's not easy, it sounds like he is on the way to learning it.

AloeVeraSeeYaCilla · 19/08/2017 18:18

Thanks for all replies. Very appreciated. The first time was three days and he really didn't get it. We're 6 days in this time and he tells us he needs the toilet as he's weeing. Is this about right?

OP posts:

Moanyoldcow · 19/08/2017 18:26

Is it just me or does potty training seem to be happening earlier these days? I'm 40 and grew up with lots of children around me and some significantly younger siblings.

It seemed back then that you didn't really try until 3 at the earliest and it was normal to go until nearer 4.

I got so much resistance from my son training at 3 but tried because I felt like he was behind. Got nowhere. Tried again 3y 9m, done in 3 days with no bribes and he was totally dry at night at the same time with only 1 accident.

I just wonder if we're trying too much too soon. Of course some will be ready earlier but they tend to lead that, don't they?

Mintylizzy9 · 19/08/2017 18:31

My 3.8 has only 'got it' a couple of weeks ago. I tried just before he was three and it was hard going for a few weeks and he was almost there but then we had a big change at home and he regressed.

He asked for pants two weeks ago and I've started a sticker chart, when he gets 5 stickers/stamps he can have a prize, pound shop tat mainly!

Anyway, it's been really easy this time, the odd accident but he's pretty much been taking himself off to the loo or potty after the first day. It's clear with hindsight that he just wasn't ready the first time and I wish I'd have left him in nappies and not had all that stress and washing

The first one he got a choc button every time but this time as he's older he understands the prolonged bribe 😁

Sophieelmer · 19/08/2017 18:32

Potty training is happening later if anything. When people used cloth there was more of an insentive to get rid of nappies! Now the effort involved in actually training puts people off. He will get it but you have to stick it out, you can't give up, once he knows this is what it'll be he'll much rather go to the toilet than have wet or dirty pants. Find something that works for him, put him on the potty in front of the telly, chic buttons, whatever.

VeryPunny · 19/08/2017 18:33

Yes, in the early days DS would tell us he needed a wee either on the potty or seconds before he wee'd. Takes them a while to recognise it.

Moany Potty training is happening much later these days - it used to be you couldn't go to playgroups/nursery if you weren't potty trained, so most people were training around 2-2.5. and that's before the hassle of washing nappies!

MudGolum · 19/08/2017 18:35

Is it just me or does potty training seem to be happening earlier these days?

My eldest is in their teens. We did it at 2 and a half. But they were ready. Week off, potty there and dragged the bloody thing in every room we went in.

Feel free to disregard all advice below, you'll know what works for you and your family but this has worked for us and friends.

Let them try the wiping etc, even if it's not productive. Makes it feel more like something they are doing than something that is happening to them.

Chocolate buttons help. Just phase them out once they've got it but keep up with the praise.

"Fun" hand wash stuff with a character on, I believe they do "singing" ones now if what I glimpsed in B&M is right. Get's the whole wash hands after into them nice and early.

I'd avoid those stupid toilet wipes. They block toilets and unless you take them everywhere they'll just struggle to clean properly when it's just bog-standard (see what I did there) toilet roll available.

You'll spend a lot of time wanting to scream when they stand and piss themselves just when you thought they've got it, but avoid reacting completely. You'll either end up with them hiding to soil themselves, or holding it in and causing all sorts of issues.

May I also suggest puppy training pads for under the potty. So when they spill it getting off, tip it having a look or get up too early there's less mess. Especially with a baby to look after.

Luckymummy22 · 19/08/2017 18:36

All I can say is I sympathise. I am trying to train my 2 year old too. Hoping to send him to nursery in pants on Wednesday. He was doing really well and then we went on holiday so starting over. He doesn't like to wear pants though!!
He's had a poo day today. Most in potty but some on the carpet .
I'm not sure how he will go at nursery though as he doesn't really speak much to the staff (shy around adults)
We had a couple of false starts with my daughter although when she wanted to do it, she learned very quickly and she was younger than my boy.

MudGolum · 19/08/2017 18:37

<a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/Dreamworks-Trolls-Singing-Hand-wash/dp/B01NCOKZ7P?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">Singing handwash here if anyone wants it. Other singing hand-washes may be available.

NemoRocksMyWorld · 19/08/2017 18:42

It sounds like I had a similar situation to you. My little boy was 2.5 when his baby brother was born. Tried potty training a couple of times after baby was born, and got the occasional wee in the potty, but loads of puddles. It was really hard work and I was shattered. I was breast feeding and he'd always want to go the second baby latched on, then all the way through the feed. It was just too much hard work. So I stuck him back in nappies and got on with life. Three weeks ago had another go - baby is now nine months and ds is 3.3. Did it in three days, day and night. Now totally reliable and can hold it for short periods if not near a toilet. It was so easy, didn't even give bribes, just loads of praise and we sang a jaunty little song! I think give yourself a break and wait til he's totally ready....

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codswallopandbalderdash · 19/08/2017 18:42

Youngest DC potty trained at just before 3. He got it in about 5 -7 days. He would say he needed a wee just before he actually did a wee for the first few days.. so loads of accidents at the start. We didn't bother with a potty - went straight to trainer seat - much easier. I didn't do rewards - and it didn't make a blind bit of difference.

Found nursery a bit harder to crack though - had to go in and talk to them after one particularly bad day after he'd been dry at home a couple of week. DS didn't like the concept of being taken to the toilet every 30 mins - hour and got v v grumpy about it. I told them make sure he went to the toilet before playing in the garden as usually his accidents were linked to being outside and away from easy access to the toilet / having to much fun to remember to go

anotherpacketwonthurt · 19/08/2017 18:55

I've been trying for a few weeks with my Ds, I have a potty in the hall which he'll just go and use, at first there were a few accidents but now he's mainly going on the toilet and by himself too!! He's had a nappy on at night. I'm hoping he will be ok when he goes back to nursery in September he's quiet there too so I'm hoping he'll speak up and say he needs a wee! He's 3 in September.

I'd try him with a potty let him walk around with no bottoms on and tell him to sit on it whenever he needs weewee/poopoo! I think giving looooads of praise help too!

Moanyoldcow · 19/08/2017 18:57

Thanks Very and Mud

I must be from a load of late starters!

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