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To not lend her any money?

(61 Posts)
Rainraingoawayagain Fri 18-Aug-17 18:59:08

Ok just want views on this.
An old school friend of mine who I have not seen in almost ten years messaged me on Facebook and asked me if she could borrow 20 pounds from me. I was pretty surprised she messaged me tbh as the only connection we have is via Facebook.
This mum is constantly posting how hard done by she is how bad her life is and how men use her etc etc (Jeremy Kyle style) has a different boyfriend every week. And airs it all!
She has a 9 year old DD
Anyway I replied very politely that I no longer lived in that city and that I was sorry she was having difficulties etc but that I could drive all way over and that I'm in no position to pay anything as I'm doing overtime myself to get extra.
I thought was the end of it
An hour later she replies begging me to help ! Saying she has no gas or food for her DD and that she would accept a bank transfer!
I replied saying how sorry I was I couldn't help out again. No more messages.
im now for some reason feeling bad for her DD sad I hate thinking of any child going without ! Especially food I'm no tight ass and I give to charity weekly and the homeless and donate cloths and toys at xmas
Not only that the next evening I saw another post from her with unknown man with him and her in a photo holding a glass of wine to each other saying " cheers "
Despite that I'm still feeling bad for her DD
AIBU to not help? Has money for wine but not food? I dunno..

PurpleDaisies Fri 18-Aug-17 19:00:20

It's really weird to get begging messages from someone you haven't been in contact with for so long.

I'd just ignore it.

2014newme Fri 18-Aug-17 19:00:36

Not your choice if she buys wine not food but looks like she was scamming you.

strawberrykiss36 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:00:43

Don't feel bad. You owe her nothing and she's downright rude to message you after ten years of no contact asking for money - especially with the wine drinking the next night!

ElspethFlashman Fri 18-Aug-17 19:01:15


x2boys Fri 18-Aug-17 19:02:05

Leave her to it 8f she was a very close friend then you might think differently but in.the circumstances you have described no I wouldn't lend her anything.

SonicBoomBoom Fri 18-Aug-17 19:03:18

You have to wonder why you are the only person she thought she could ask. All her other friends and family must have stopped giving her cash for some reason, most likely that she never pays them back, and/or she's not using the money for food for her DD at all.

Don't feel bad.

apostropheuse Fri 18-Aug-17 19:04:19

That's unbelievable.

ipswichwitch Fri 18-Aug-17 19:04:24

She's pretty probably asking you because all her closer friends/family have got wise to it and refuse to give her any more money.

EssentialHummus Fri 18-Aug-17 19:05:34

Keep saying no if she gets in touch again. If you EVER say yes it'll be endless.

Trb17 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:06:31

Block her on Facebook is my advice.

Ni58 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:06:35

If it was Facebook, could she have been hacked?

PumpkinPie2016 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:07:06

YANBU - very odd given that you haven't seen her for so long/are not close friends.

Also, I can understand you feeling bad for her daughter but you don't know for sure that she had no food/gas- that could well have been a sob story!

Rainraingoawayagain Fri 18-Aug-17 19:07:40

We use to be good friends at school but like most we parted ways when we left. I'm just shocked she asked me but felt bad after because I can't really help out someone I don't even know anymore. She moved away from her family so I'm assuming they no longer are in contact. I dunno just so strange.

Mulch Fri 18-Aug-17 19:07:49

She has no shame

LoyaltyAndLobster Fri 18-Aug-17 19:07:54

She's pretty probably asking you because all her closer friends/family have got wise to it and refuse to give her any more money

I couldn't have said it better myself. £20 wouldn't be enough for gas and food.

GoodMorning1 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:08:03

Is it possible someone's hacked her facebook acct? If they were asking for a bsbk transfer that could be it.

UrethaFranklin Fri 18-Aug-17 19:08:48

How do you know she hasn't scammed £20 of all her Facebook friends and got her self a tidy little sum?

I would unfriend and block her.

LockedOutOfMN Fri 18-Aug-17 19:08:52

Ignore her and block if she does it again. Or write on her wall "You've been hacked; I've received some strange private messages from your account."

schoolgaterebel Fri 18-Aug-17 19:09:43

I may be cynical, but it's obvious to me it's drugs.

If you were in doubt you could offer to arrange a supermarket delivery with some basic groceries for her DD, I bet she wouldn't take you up on it.

I think you should lick her on FB and forget about her children completely.

Pengggwn Fri 18-Aug-17 19:10:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

schoolgaterebel Fri 18-Aug-17 19:10:31


(Not lick FFS!)

Namechangetempissue Fri 18-Aug-17 19:12:31

I would also have refused -she must have exhausted all her other avenues to contact a virtual stranger over facebook. Bet this is a regular thing; I hate to be cynical but I'm betting the money does not go on household bills.
If she contacts you again point her kindly in the direction of her local food bank for the sake of her daughter.

LIZS Fri 18-Aug-17 19:13:31

Bet she was playing a number of "friends" and reeled one in. She is no real friend, I doubt she would help you out in return.

FelixtheMouse Fri 18-Aug-17 19:16:44

Sounds like everyone closer to her has refused (probably on the basis of hard won experience) and she's trying anyone she can think of.
If her closer friends and family won't, why should you.
Plus £20 sounds like a small amount to see if you'll bite.
Block, ignore and don't give her a penny.

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