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Bridesmaid dress AIBU?

(226 Posts)
Pombearsandnaiceham Fri 18-Aug-17 14:35:48

Hi everyone,

I may be told that I'm being ridiculous with this AIBU (and am prepared to be told this), but I'm getting a bit stressed out, so would like to find out your advice please.

I'm a bridesmaid for a close relative, and the wedding is coming up in a few weeks. The bride very kindly bought my dress for me, which I'm really grateful for.

The dress was originally quite long (and I'm really short), so DM very kindly offered to take it to get it shortened. I told the bride that I'd need to shorten the dress, which she was fine with. The only thing that the bride asked was that my heels don't show when I'm wearing the dress, as I'd planned to wear heels to give myself some height.

I tried the heels that I'd planned to wear with the dress when it was still unshortened (with my DM there with me), so that we'd know how much material to take off.

I've just tried on the shortened dress with lower heels than I'd planned to be wearing, and they do show quite a lot under the dress.

I'm now really nervous about what the bride will think and say. I feel a bit sick. There'll be someone there filming the whole day as well as a photographer, and the bride wants everything to be perfect.

What do you all think? Should I buy another dress? Or should I just get over myself?

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Fri 18-Aug-17 14:37:50

The bride didn't very kindly buy your dress for you. Its her wedding!

Rubyslippers7780 Fri 18-Aug-17 14:38:21

What about lower heels / flats?

Liskee Fri 18-Aug-17 14:40:00

Speak to the bride. Tell her what's happened and try the dress and heels on for her. Chances are she'll say it looks great, now piss off I've more to worry about than this....

Geordie007 Fri 18-Aug-17 14:40:28

So the error in the shortened dress wasn't your error, is that correct?
I'd bet a pound to a pinch of shit that the bride probably won't even notice on the day! Wait until the last minute to put the shoes on, then if she notices when she sees the video, its too late to do anything about it!

SleepingStandingUp Fri 18-Aug-17 14:41:39

How tall are you? How high are the heels? A photo taken by someone else would help.

Can the dress be taken down at all?

sparklewater Fri 18-Aug-17 14:41:55

Has the dress been cut or just folded? Was it pinned at the fitting? How big is the hem?

shellistar Fri 18-Aug-17 14:42:51

I say this as someone who is about to get married in a few weeks...

The bride needs to get a grip. The day won't be ruined forever because someone saw your shoes. By all means, explain it to her and come up with a workable solution but if her future happiness depends on the length of your dress I would suggest she has bigger worries in the long term...

MadeForThis Fri 18-Aug-17 14:42:59

Wear lower shoes

SheWhoLivesHere Fri 18-Aug-17 14:43:05

Can you not wear flats?

I get married next week, and if my bridesmaid told me about this, I'd tell her not to be silly as there really are more important things to be thinking about right now!

RhiWrites Fri 18-Aug-17 14:43:43

Wear flats?

Crunchymum Fri 18-Aug-17 14:46:59

I don't get it? Did you mum shorten the dress too much? Or are you now planning to wear higher heels? (not shorter heels as per you first post?)

greendale17 Fri 18-Aug-17 14:52:11

Wear lower shoes.

PollyFlint Fri 18-Aug-17 14:52:59

So did the dress accidentally get shortened more than you planned? Is there enough of a hem to take it down a bit again?

If not, wear flats. And honestly, the bride needs to understand that it's not the end of the world.These things happen. If people can see your shoes but not the shoes of the other bridesmaids (if there are others) it isn't going to ruin her wedding.

chocolatesa Fri 18-Aug-17 14:53:42

I think the easiest solution would be to just get some lower heels

scurryfunge Fri 18-Aug-17 14:54:19

Bend your knees for the photos

DerelictWreck Fri 18-Aug-17 14:55:51

If it's just been folded and hemmed, get it taken down again. Ideally you need to be wearing it, with the shoes when you go to a tailor as that's the only way they can do it accurately.

haveacupoftea Fri 18-Aug-17 14:56:32

Agree you need to wear flats. What's more important, looking a few inches taller or not annoying your friend on her wedding day? She's being a bit bridezilla but it's not a massive thing she asked of you, don't be difficult.

ButtHoleinOne Fri 18-Aug-17 14:57:11

Is the bride a total dick? Otherwise I can't understand your worry.

Ask her is she'd rather you wear flats or show the heels.

Sisinisawa Fri 18-Aug-17 14:57:28

Who shortened the dress? Did you wear the shoes for the fitting?
I'm assuming it's a rolled hem so can't be let down much but if you still have the off it then a false gem could be put on.
A picture would help here.
Ideally a full length hem is only half an inch off the ground so how much off the ground is yours?
Don't panic I'm sure something can be done.

peachgreen Fri 18-Aug-17 15:01:27

Yup, wear flats.

Headofthehive55 Fri 18-Aug-17 15:02:32

Buy another dress or wear flats.
Went to a wedding recently where someone had shortened the dress too much compared with the others. Your eye was drawn to it and it looked wrong.

Slimthistime Fri 18-Aug-17 15:03:16

sorry to be thick but why does it matter?

Gemini69 Fri 18-Aug-17 15:04:27

flats will be so comfortable too.. definitely wear flats x

SleepFreeZone Fri 18-Aug-17 15:05:45

Just tell her and see what she says.

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