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I am not tidying up AGAIN!

(86 Posts)
Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 13:38:37

So at 7am I started tidying up before the kids (aged 2. 4. And 5)woke up.
They woke up at 8am down stairs spotless! Within 10 minutes it looks like a bombs gone off! So I tidied it all up again. Husband said God you wouldn't think 3 kids live here it's immaculate....
So at 11.30 my husband decides to start making lunch for everyone (he hardly ever cooks)
So he used 4+ pots and pans so many knife and folks and spoon ect.
He did the children a beef burger even tho I told him they won't eat a full one and they will defiantly won't eat a bap. So he gives it then anyway...
There is now food everywhere off the kids chucking it AWAY. Dirty pots and pans all over the kitchen. And husband has done fuck all. So he is now thinking I will be cleaning it up. Well I'm not. I'm fed up of wanting me house clean for my kids but this is the thanks I get!
I clean up at least 5 times in 1 day! And now I've had enough! Aibu to go on strike!

LorLorr2 Fri 18-Aug-17 13:40:48

YANBU, seems a waste of life to spend it tidying.

missmollyhadadolly Fri 18-Aug-17 13:42:21

He cleans up. End of.

Tiddler7 Fri 18-Aug-17 13:42:39

Make sure you take wine with you grin

Or gin

Or both.

Siwdmae Fri 18-Aug-17 13:50:11

Think I'd only do one tidy up a day and tell the DP to tidy up his shit after himself. Don't do any tidying bar for safety of kids for one day and see what the DP says then!

Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 13:54:04

When I Hoover up I move the sofa and Hoover under it and when I husband does it he just goes around it so I would only end up going over what he's done anyway. If you can see what I'm trying to say. If I asked he to do the dishes he would just leave the pots and pans to "soak" and they would still be there hours later.
With my kitchen you only have to make one meal and it's a tip and you wouldn't be able to cook another meal till it tidied up its really small.
I love tidying up but it really just annoys me when I do it the kids and my husband just undo it.. We have a massive toy box in the living room yet I'm the only obe who picks to toys up ect. I'm just really tired of trying to win a losing battle!

lozzylizzy Fri 18-Aug-17 14:16:09

I use the power of sibling rivalry......right lets see who can put away the most toys! My eldest now figures if he doesn't get much out he doesn't have to tidy it away.

Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 14:29:26

Tried and failed. Never works unless I bribe them with sweets or something lol x

AllToadsLeadToHome Fri 18-Aug-17 14:31:10

I got to the stage where anything that was left to 'soak' was put in a bowl and left until he washed it. If there are no clean pans then there is no cooking. Cups and glasses get either pushed to the side or left where they are until they find their way to the dishwasher. I stopped asking and just left them.

Anything left lying about gets pushed into a heap or dumped in a box. I would love a tidy home but I only do my own stuff now.

Orangedaisy Fri 18-Aug-17 14:37:11

We only tidy once a day, after dinner and with DC in bed (DD1 (3) helps tidy her stuff before bath on most nights). Then we enjoy tidy house for the evening and first thing. It's messy the rest of the time but I made peace with that as otherwise I'd do nothing but tidying!

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 18-Aug-17 14:41:12

How often are you hoovering under the sofa? Because honestly this might be your standards as well.

NotTheCoolMum Fri 18-Aug-17 14:44:45

If he says he will do the washing up but then leaves pans unwashed, simply say "there's something I'd like to show you" guide him back into the kitchen and point out the pans. "Can you finish the job please" and walk off leaving him there. No need for lecturing, arguing, don't respond to any complaints of being tired etc. Just be a brick wall. Like you would with a small child. Eventually after enough times of this he will get the hang of it and just do it all properly the first time.

lynmilne65 Fri 18-Aug-17 14:50:04

Why would you hoover under sofa !!!???

NoCapes Fri 18-Aug-17 15:00:09

Yeah it sounds like you need to lower your standards a bit OP

But also, you really need to teach your kids to tidy their toys, at certain points throughout the day you cheerfully announce its tidy up time, and you all do it together

Ifyoubuildittheywillcome Fri 18-Aug-17 15:01:40

One tidy a day bar anything hazardous for the sake of your sanity OP.
Re DH, I have that in my house too. Can't understand why I'm not grateful that lunch was made when the kitchen looks like it has been hit by a tornado afterwards.

Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 18:04:02

The reason why i hoover under my sofa is because i got laminated flooring and the dust and biscuits crums or from where the kids have chucked food under. Living room had table in it x

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 18-Aug-17 18:52:06

How often though?

Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:20:53

It depends on how messy the kids are. Sometimes it could be once a day sometimes it could be 5 times so it varies x

MyOtherProfile Fri 18-Aug-17 19:28:51

I think you're mad! Yoir sofa dpesnt need hoovering underneath every time so let him do it. He needs to clear up after lunxh and kids need to tidy up with you. Start training them to get one thing out then put it away.. you can do this by spending an hour playing with them and as they finish with one thing say now we put it away. And make sure toys are stored in child friendly ways to facilitate this.

NoCapes Fri 18-Aug-17 19:30:26

5 times a day!?! shock

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 18-Aug-17 19:37:54

If you are hoovering under your sofa five times a day, your DH is NBU.

Raver84 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:45:38

Your children are still very young, they will make a lot of mess and yes get lots of toys out. Mine are the same only now one is seven she is just about getting used to tidying and not getting every toy out she lays eyes on! I think whilst they are little just tidy once a day I do bits during the day like washing or loading the dishwasher but one big clear up in the evening. Just ignor the mess until late afternoon or evening.

Your husband should however clear up his mess.

londonmummy1966 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:53:20

I would drop the early morning tidy as kids always make a mess at breakfast. Tidy afterwards and then make the children put toys etc in toy box before lunch.

If DH makes burgers again suggest the children get half of one first to see how hungry they are? (You can always freeze the rest or turn it into meatballs). Tell DH that he has to tidy up after himself in the kitchen or you will bring in a rule that who ever doesn't cook has to clear up. (We have this rule as DH is a totally useless cook so I'd be in the kitchen full time). As a PP suggested just take him into the kitchen and present him with the mess. "Leaving pans to soak" is manspeak for "Leaving pans for DW to clean".

Make children tidy toys away again before tea - no food until they've tidied. Then whichever parent is not doing bath and bed time can do a quick tidy around in peace and quiet (and then get on with dinner).

But I think you may be too house proud which is never going to be easy with 3 small dcs around.

Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:53:22

Like a said if the kids chuck food or eat a biscuits it goes under the sofa as it literally 1 foot away. I always play with my kids and get them to help me put their toys away, and they will do it without me asking when their Dad isn't at home. But as soon as dads home no one does a tap. I haven't tidied up since I did this thread and the pots and pans are still there and I took him into the kitchen to remind him that they need doing and his reply was "if your so bothered you do them"..
I have 3 toddlers who I'm playing with 1. Reading to another. And playing Barbie with another whilst my husband Sits on the sofa watching robin hood. And then moans that he can't hear the telly cuz kids laughing to loud.
I live in a three bed house which I clean on my own! I do all the cloths washing. Iron them and put them away.
All I'm asking for is just a little bit of help. So really I am asking to much.!? X

Ilovechocolate111 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:54:53

I also bath the kids and put them to bed and read them bed time stories. I feel like I'm a single mom. sad

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