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To not be thankful MIL has cut the grass?

(224 Posts)
Dontgiveaflyingfuck Thu 17-Aug-17 01:06:33

Just got back from a week camping to discover MIL has been gardening. How do i know this in the dark? Because the house I spent my only child free day the entire summer holiday cleaning is a fucking tip. She has dragged everything out of cupboards to find things and has left stuff everywhere. I have a 2 year old and the sight of hedge trimmers, saws, two badly balanced ladders and numerous cables gave me palpatations. Oh and the house is covered in mud and grass. My oldest two (9 and 7) are upset because their bedroom is a tip. Eldest child is autistic and everything is now in the wrong place. I assume MIL left my 2 year old nephew whom she cares for in the bedroom while she made my house into a shit tip. DH thinks we should be thankful shes tried to help. I'm dreading the daylight - if shes cut my fucking hedges im going balistic. I have lovely neighbours but very noisy so grow the hedges tall for privacy and MIL has always complained they are too high.

Dontgiveaflyingfuck Thu 17-Aug-17 01:07:47

Nosey neighbours!! Not noisy - two lovely old ladies who like to keep tabs on the street

teaandtoast Thu 17-Aug-17 01:12:22

I feel your pain. Mil 'weeded' part of the garden for me. Yes, there were weeds in it but there were also half a dozen young plants that she chopped down or pulled out.
Not to mention what she'd done in the rest of the house.

Fingers crossed for high hedges.

quizqueen Thu 17-Aug-17 01:58:34

Remove your house key from your MIL.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Thu 17-Aug-17 02:12:30

I'd be fucking furious she let herself into my house while I was away. Change your locks; you can't trust her to give the house key back and to not have made a copy.

AnnieAnoniMouse Thu 17-Aug-17 02:12:39


What was she doing going in your house?!

Ask your fuckmuppet DH how turning the house into a tip is supposed to help?!

Tell him HE is sorting it out tomorrow & if he's due into work he'd better be calling in telling them he can't make it.

Tomorrow, call your MIL, give her both barrels & get your key back. If she feeding pets or something, you'd be better off getting a friend to do it, or a little cal teen for a few quid.

I'd be out there with a torch checking out the hedges - and she'd hear me from the moon if she's touched them.

Spitting tacks for you 😡.

Topseyt Thu 17-Aug-17 02:21:34

If that is what she is like then she shouldn't have keys to your house.

Get the keys back and tell her that you don't appreciate the shit hole she left behind.

Raver84 Thu 17-Aug-17 03:28:10

Exactly what my mil would do. Last tme I went away we left them a key she proceeded to remove my kids garden dining set without my knowledge . She never mentioned amd i was looking for thw chairs for aes thinkjng they had been pinched. It was only a few weeks later when I saw my chairs hidden behind her shed in her garden i realised where they were. . I was fuming. It's massively overstepping the mark.

FritzDonovan Thu 17-Aug-17 04:18:00

^^ just....why?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Thu 17-Aug-17 04:22:10

I'd go ballistic too.
My MIL oversteps like this as well (although she's never turned the house into a shit tip, she likes to "tidy" which means I lose stuff, sometimes forever...) and it drives me mad, but DH can't see the problem (fucking manchild type) and then says stupid things like "oh just tell her never to help us out again" which of course I can't and wouldn't say to her because that's just rude and stupid.

So nothing ever gets said, nothing changes and so it goes on.

I may have put paid to it accidentally last time though - we were all back from a trip overseas, during which the friend looking after our guineapigs told me that one had died, so I said (Seeing as how it's winter here) "leave it in a box at the side of the house, I'll deal with it when I get back".
Get back, she'd "buried" it in a shallow "grave" (tipped the contents of a plant pot over it) in my vegetable plot and covered it in shells. I asked why she'd done it and she had a hissy fit and said "oh I'll just dig it back up again then" and made to storm off (bloody hell!) so I explained that the boys wanted to see the guineapig one last time. But she just shouldn't have fucking interfered in the first place! It's not as though I have completely feckless friends - I ASKED them not to remove the body. She just doesn't think! She's thrown stuff out before because she thought it was rubbish, not bothering to ask first - it makes me so cross, because it's as though she thinks I'm too stupid or lazy to throw things out - no you utter dimwit, I'm keeping it FOR A REASON. Just because YOU don't know what it is, doesn't mean there isn't one!!

And breathe.
Sorry. Got a bit ranty there.

Take the keys off her and tell her that you are sure she was trying to help but she's actually created a really dangerous mess - and no doubt trashed your hedges (bet she has) and you'd prefer it if she didn't try to help again in future.

flumpybear Thu 17-Aug-17 04:40:51

How frustrating! What possessed her to trash your home and not tidy up!!

pullingmyhairout1 Thu 17-Aug-17 04:48:06

Change the locks ffs and forget to tell her. My mother used to do stuff like this all the time andreadmypost

It is massively overstepping the boundaries even if she was being 'helpful'

RebootYourEngine Thu 17-Aug-17 04:49:10

This would annoy the hell out of me. How can people who do this not see that they are not helping.

Justmuddlingalong Thu 17-Aug-17 05:00:04

Put your hand out and say 'keys, now.'

honeysucklejasmine Thu 17-Aug-17 05:03:21

Omg, what was she thinking?! I'd be tempted to phone her and pretend to think you've been burgled. Let her explain the mess.

CharityJackson2 Thu 17-Aug-17 05:03:36

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SquedgieBeckenheim Thu 17-Aug-17 05:08:06

I'd be fuming, and wouldn't be able to hold back if she'd left my house u safe for the DC. Get your key back and change the locks.
FIL regularly cuts out grass when visiting. It annoys me that he does it without asking if we want it done, but DH likes that It means he doesnt have to do it so I say nothing.

Zvandelle Thu 17-Aug-17 05:09:28

Get your husband to sort his mother out. Awful behaviour. Get the key back ( through him) and get him to tidy up. If my mother did this, I would be mortified, and would want to be the one to put it right. Think that's only fair. Don't talk to her until you've really, really calmed down. Keep that moral high ground!!!! Good luck. Hope yr hedges are ok.

Ilovetolurk Thu 17-Aug-17 05:36:16

I once came back from a week away to find my whole front garden had been ripped out and replaced by some shrubs by FIL

He was bored im his retirement

Where do these relatives get their ideas from

Penfold007 Thu 17-Aug-17 06:13:14

Take lots of photos as she will deny she's done anything. DH sorts out the mess and his mother. I quite like the 'we've been burgaled' call, let her explained.

coriliavijvaad Thu 17-Aug-17 06:18:55

Agree take photos before you clean up. Then if there is ever any suggestion that she has unsupervised access to your home or garden again you can look at them and say "never again"

rjay123 Thu 17-Aug-17 06:19:04

I agree with others - get DH to sort.

Or you could contact a spell caster, who definitely isn't spam.....

TidyDancer Thu 17-Aug-17 06:40:48

Oh this would drive me nuts. My MIL is very much in the matriarch role (self appointed) but she's generally fairly harmless and is very good with the kids. She wouldn't dream of doing anything like this.

c3pu Thu 17-Aug-17 06:47:58

Why on earth would the children's bedrooms be a mess if she's been gardening? Struggling to comprehend what's gone on. Sounds horrendous!!

WellErrr Thu 17-Aug-17 06:56:07

Yes, id go with the 'we've been burgled'

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