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AIBU?

Why do people fear Home Educators so much?

810 replies

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 22:06

Not a TAAT but inspired by the other thread, I was stunned by the level of vitriol aimed at home education. Is it all borne from fear and ignorance?

Home Ed isn't about replicating school. And education isn't (in our case) about gaining qualifications from an institution to increase their value in the workforce!

So why so much animosity?

OP posts:

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SerfTerf · 16/08/2017 22:10

Ignorance and tramtrack thinking.

It's flabbergasting. It's equivalent to me developing mad and hostile beliefs about Quaker schools based on the very very little I know about them.

People even SAY "Admittedly I don't know much about it BUT...." 😄

ForeverLivingMyArse · 16/08/2017 22:11

So will your home educated children have any value in the workforce at the end of it?

I don't fear it, I just think there's very few people who could single handedly educated a child to a high standard. All very nice and alternative through primary but damaging for secondary age. In my opinion.

LoniceraJaponica · 16/08/2017 22:12

Perhaps they feel a little judged by the home educators. I only know of two parents who home educated. One did very well, and then sent her daughter to secondary school where she is doing very well.

The other just decided to pull her child out of school because she didn't like getting up early, didn't send two of her subsequent children to school at all to start with, didn't actually educate them and failed to recognise that all three were dyslexic. Fortunately she had the sense to send them to school when child 4 came along, and they now receive the educational support they didn't get at home.

Brittbugs80 · 16/08/2017 22:13

so why so much animosity

I think it's because your conditioned to think school is the only way, that your breaking the law if you don't attend school.

Plus I also think people panic as they are not Teachers and think only qualified Teachers can teach a child, that a home schooled child will grow up lonely, isolated and unable to socialise.

Basically it's the unknown and many people can't cope with that.

If it wasn't for needing to work, our deregistration letter would have gone in last term!

drspouse · 16/08/2017 22:15

I have answered this before:
I care about the lives of children in general.
It is much more possible to expose children in home ed to extreme views and unhealthy home environments.
It is much more possible to neglect them.
It is the opposite of allowing your child choice if you cut off whole avenues of adult life - those requiring formal qualifications, those linked to subject areas the parents aren't that interested in, those the child ditto or that the child doesn't know to ask to study, or that the child needs X qualification for but the child finds hard.
I have a close relative who has home educated one of their DC and all of these apply.
I fear for my young relative's future. They are now a teenager with the intellectual ability to make much of themselves but they will get no qualifications and now believe they are stupid.

Sittinginthesun · 16/08/2017 22:15

I don't think it's fear, it might be because lots of home educating parents seem to be quite evangelical about it, and come across as quite defensive.

I have various friends and acquaintances who home educate, for various reasons that suit them, but they do seem to spend a lot of time posting articles on Facebook, and mentioning it every time I see them.

Brittbugs80 · 16/08/2017 22:16

I don't fear it, I just think there's very few people who could single handedly educated a child to a high standard

You may not fear it, but it's almost like you don't understand it. My best friend is home educated, she's a Solicitor now. When it came to exams (GCSE and A level) she had private tutors for the subjects she was sitting exams in and sat them at the local college.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 22:16

I don't fear home educators. I don't actually know of any in RL.

School is the only way for my family. And that's all that counts.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/08/2017 22:17

WRT the thread you are talking about , people are aware that home ed may not be a good thing.

Home ed, done well can be better than any school, but by withdrawing a child from school you can also be covering up a whole pile of abuses etc. Plus home ed done well is not easy, and lots of people think they can do when actually they are massively disadvantaging their child.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 22:17

Oh ffs, nobody is AFRAID of you! If you can't even tell that, should you be teaching anyone anything?

notgivingin789 · 16/08/2017 22:18

I teach DS a lot at home (I don't rely on the school to teach DS). I did daydream about homeschooling DS, I think I would be quite good and it does sound exciting. Designing your own curriculum, timetable, trips out, connecting with other home schooling children.

But the money to buy resources ?! The time to plan, the stress ! I can't handle those side of things. But I am in awe of parents who home school their children.

TheReferoo · 16/08/2017 22:18

Home Ed isn't about replicating school. And education isn't (in our case) about gaining qualifications from an institution to increase their value in the workforce!

So you are therefore knowingly limiting the future opportunities available to your child by not providing them with a standard of education that opens many many doors?

ForeverLivingMyArse · 16/08/2017 22:19

So her parents opted to use follow state curriculum, paid for professional educators and had her sit formal examinations.

Hardly the same thing is it?

Brittbugs80 · 16/08/2017 22:19

but they will get no qualifications and now believe they are stupid

You do know this doesn't apply to every home ed child?!

Why are they not sitting exams?

Mysteriouscurle · 16/08/2017 22:20

Because people think that there is only one correct way to do things and cant cope with people who dont follow the crowd?

drspouse · 16/08/2017 22:20

Perhaps they feel a little judged by the home educators
That too. My relative, and at least one other home educator I know, have very set ideas about parenting and education and massively judge others.
Another couple of friends are really lovely and have their heads screwed on. No judgement there.

A final family I know seem really worn down by the whole thing. I think they could do with a break from at least one of their children!

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 22:23

There are a significant number of kids who will not do well in a school environment. For them, something other than a mainstream school can be the answer.

I don't consider a child to be well educated if they leave school with a fist full of certificates. I consider a good education to be that which equips them to be able to follow their passions. That's it really.

OP posts:

Witsender · 16/08/2017 22:23

In the real world you meet some bewilderment, but certainly no animosity. Likewise there are some evangelical home edders, but that is in part due to defensiveness over a different choice.

EB123 · 16/08/2017 22:23

I find so many people just have no idea about home ed at all. So many don't even know it is an option and think that a child must go to school by law.
Others know of it but don't know much about it apart from the usual myths.

So I don't think they fear home ed, they just don't know much about it.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 22:25

Following your passions is a great idea but it's not going to pay the bills sadly.

ForeverLivingMyArse · 16/08/2017 22:25

Does following your passion put a roof over your head?

user1482443190 · 16/08/2017 22:26

What Sittinginthesun said. I've might so many self righteous Home Edders, many happen to be a bit alternative too (vegan, boring etc), they're not great people to be around. And I say that as a HE'er, we steer very, very clear of them.

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drspouse · 16/08/2017 22:26

You do know this doesn't apply to every home ed child?! Why are they not sitting exams

Yes I do know this. It's just massively more possible to get away with if home educating.
They are not doing any exams because:

My relative believes that exams are part of the "system"
The child resists any formal study (mainly watches DVDs and reading fiction aimed at younger ages I think).
The parent does not think they are as intelligent as their sibling (who they call "square" for doing their homework).

At least if the child was in school this would be resisted or diluted.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 22:26

And like it or not it's the 'fist full of certificates' that gets you through the door to an interview in most cases.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/08/2017 22:27

I don't consider a child to be well educated if they leave school with a fist full of certificates. I consider a good education to be that which equips them to be able to follow their passions. That's it really.

Unfortunately, in the real world that will really limit them.

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