To be pissed off by this comment from nursery?

[denimdresser]

DD attends a nursery school that is open for 4 weeks over the summer hols, which is great and has allowed me to work (PT - 3 days a week) without having to take any unpaid leave. They close for the last 2 weeks of August, (and, unhelpfully, for another day this Friday). I work in the public sector and, unlike some other sectors, summer is one of our busiest times.
DD's hours are 8-6, which is of course brilliant. Other DS goes to school nursery (reception in Sept) and he is doing holiday care there on the 3 days I work. I leave work at 5.15ish and collect DS then race like thunder to get DD from her nursery by around 5.50pm. I am always the last to collect her and feel terrible about it every time. She is absolutely fine, never gets upset when I drop or collect her and the staff are usually very nice but they are waiting for me to get there so they can all leave. Her hours are 8-6, so I'm assuming they're paid until 6pm if they are on a late shift.
Today as I came through the gates with DS one of the staff walked DD out the main door and handed her over to me, saying "It's a bit lonely in there for her" (?!?!?!) and then asked that as tomorrow is their last day of term could I collect her a bit earlier so they can all say their goodbyes. There are 2 staff leaving tomorrow.
I really can't leave work much before 5pm and it is also my last day for the summer before I have to take the 2 weeks of annual leave when we don't have childcare. My DH works much longer hours and usually does drop offs in the morning so he can't pick up the kids.
It has really pissed me off - I would love to be spending a lovely sunny afternoon with my kids in a paddling pool rather than running all over to collect them but on the 3 days I work I have to bloody work! AIBU to expect that 8-6 means 8-6 and farewells for end of term happen on their own time?

[Dancinginthemidnight]

That is taking the piss. They obviously want to finish early. If you've paid until 6 then it's tough.

[LouHotel]

My DD goes nursery 2 days a week and im the same and pick her up at 5.50pm after finishing at 5.30pm. If i got a similar comment from one of her carers i would shut that shit down.

The 'lonely' comment is passive shaming and your right if they wanted a half day they should have arranged that in advance so parents can plan. Presumably your paying till 6pm.

[Gunpowder]

I'd email the nursery and say it won't be possible due to the reasons you have mention. Don't worry about it. You have paid for a service and they can say their goodbyes after work!

[Gunpowder]

*Mentioned

[PerpetualStudent]

Yep, cheeky. Just politely decline and remind them you have childcare for these hours because you work within these hours.

I find my DS with the nursery workers in the staffroom if he is the last child left (usually being given crisps!) when I arrive at 5:50 for a 6pm finish. I'm jealous of all these parents who can appatently saunter out of work mid-afternoon?!

[TheHeartOfTeFiti]

Yep email the manager to say sorry you won't be able to get there early

[Tapandgo]

As theheart says

[denimdresser]

Thanks all...
Yes Perpetual I often find her at the front desk when I walk in too (no crisps though!). I don't understand how all the other parents can collect their kids so early if they work 9-5.
I will chalk this up to my growing pile of mum guilt stories!

[ginflumpsandzebraprint]

My 2 dd's were dropped off at 7am and picked up at 7pm 5 days a week from 9 months to school age. I paid extra for this and felt crap, but it had to be done. I only once had a comment like this and replied the kids didn't seem to mind and they had no problem taking my money so unless they wanted me to inform the owner of the nursery the nicest dragon I ever met the should keep such comments to themselves.
Btw my 2 are now very socially adapt with all ages and also very academic so no harm done

[Seeingadistance]

I wouldn't bother emailing them. Your husband can mention tomorrow morning at drop off that you'll be picking DD up at the usual time.

They are taking the piss. Do they think you're sitting at home twiddling your thumbs while you pay for them to care for your DD within those set hours? Even supposing it was reasonable for them to stop early, they would need to give a lot of notice so parents can make alternative arrangements, not casually mention it the day before on the back of a passive aggressive comment!

I'm pissed off on your behalf, OP!

[Zool69]

I wouldn't take offence at the lonely comment, but asking you to pick her up early is taking the piss.

I sometimes don't manage to pick my kids up til a few mins before nursery closes at 6 (once didn't make it til 6.20) and i know what you mean about feeling bad, but im sure it doesn't do them any harm..

[pigsDOfly]

Your DD is booked into the nursery till 6.00, so what exactly do they think you're doing all day that you can just drop everything and pick her up early to suit them?

You're paying them till six, she's picked up at six at which time they finish work. Not a difficult idea to grasp.

[BackforGood]

I don't think they are taking the piss at all.
If you don't ask, you won't get.
Obviously, in this case it isn't possible, and that is fine - I presume you just said "Really sorry, I'm not able to as I don't finish work until..... and this is the absolute earliest I can get here." But it's perfectly feasible it might have been possible for some people, and they'd not know that unless they ask, would they?
It's not really an issue. They asked. You said it couldn't happen. End of.

[FuckYouLinda]

Are you paying until 6pm? Then no. You are paying for a service, and need to maintain those hours for your work.

[Gizmo79]

Sod that attitude!
You are paying them for a service, don't forget that.

[Brittbugs80]

Ex Deputy Manager of a Nursery here.

The comment could have been said as a passing comment especially if she was the last child there. I'd try not to take it to heart. However if you came to me and said one of my team had said that, I'd tell the staff member that it wasn't appropriate to say that and the child shouldn't be lonely as staff should be doing what they are paid to and interacting with her.

As for the taking her down to reception, this is fine. My staff were paid until 6pm and also had to clean and tidy away and set rooms up for the next day and it's easier to have the last/late ones down in reception ready for handover. They are never unsupervised there and will often spend the time reading and beginning to calm down before tired parents etc collect them.

And as for asking you to come early so they can say goodbye, tough. You've paid till 6, she stays until 6. They would have had at least 4 weeks notice which they could have told parents they would be closing 15 minutes early but they haven't.

Say to them you will get there when you can but it's the best you can do with inadequate notice.

[Dina1234]

The cheek! They're getting paid to do a job they should expect to do it.

[notevernotnevernotnohow]

Do they think you're sitting at home twiddling your thumbs while you pay for them to care for your DD within those set hours?

Does it make any difference if you are? You pay for childcare between 8-6. They need to provide childcare between 8 and 6, end of story.

And they shouldn't be saying that its lonely for her, there are staff members there who should be giving her attention at that time, she shouldn;t be feeling lonely because they are downing tools early.

[Neverenoughspoons]

Please don't feel guilty! You said she's always fine being dropped off etc. If she wasn't happy there you'd know.
They've got a bloody nerve speaking to you like that. A family member of mine owns a large private nursery and this kind of thing would never happen & should never happen anywhere. I would be complaining to the owners if I were you. The comment about her being lonely is a disgrace. The staff are paid to be there to keep her company and entertain her, it's their job for god sake!

[manglethedangle]

I've been the last to pick DS up on a few occasions. I always feel guilty but the nursery are always great, say things like "he loves the individual attention" or "he got the rocker to himself".

That's how a nursery should be!

[pinkiepie1]

When i worked in a nursey, jesus we wouldn't have dared say something like that, 8-6. Sometimes the odd parent didnt get there until 10 past 6 which was shit on a Friday, when wanting to get ready to go out but even then we never commented.

[MyOtherProfile]

In response to the comment that it's a bit lonely in there I would ask how it can be lonely when there are adults paid to look after her until 6pm.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Why is your DD lonely while she is at nursery? I know kids like being around other kids but in my experience they also crave one-one time with adults and there is no reason at all the nursery staff can't provide that when she is the only one left. They need to be doing their job, not waiting around hoping to get off early. Fro the comment about picking up early on the last day - that's poorly worded, but it was just a request and you can easily say "I'm sorry, that isn't ever possible."

I would consider whether a word with the manager might be useful. I don't work in childcare, I manage consultants who are client facing, so it's a somewhat different situation, but that sounds like an appalling attitude problem to me. I would not be happy with my staff if they treated a client in that sort of manner.