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That it isn't really a honeymoon?

(196 Posts)
jafitife Wed 16-Aug-17 19:34:40

Friends of ours are due to get married this weekend. Upon receiving the invite we were asked if we could contribute to the -very luxurious- honeymoon of their dreams, which we have. The guests can choose which items they can purchase for them such as trips, champagne breakfasts, limo transfer, plush meals in restaurants, currency for the multiple countries they will be visiting, airport transfers, flights etc and it totals roughly £15000. After meeting with them last night they spoke about how they will be heading away the day after the wedding to France for a week and the honeymoon will be in January. AIBU to think that this isn't a honeymoon and more of a holiday of a lifetime? I hear more and more now of people who get married then go on honeymoon months or even a year later. I understand that for work or health purposes for some people it has to be delayed but surely it can't be a honeymoon if you choose to have it a later date? I'm not losing sleep but intrigued as to if this is becoming more popular and others views on it?

Flybye Wed 16-Aug-17 19:36:30

I got married in may and went on honeymoon in August.

wowbutter Wed 16-Aug-17 19:37:07

The holiday after their wedding is their honeymoon. You lot are funding their dream holiday, chosen at a convenient time.

PennyTentiary Wed 16-Aug-17 19:37:41

II may be pretty cynical but I'd bet that they want to see how much they can sponge off their guests before going.

TheNaze73 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:38:06

I'd be thinking they're taking the piss!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 16-Aug-17 19:38:32

I got married in August and went to Guernsey the day after for a week and then Australia in October. I count them as the big and little honeymoon.

Leeds2 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:39:41

They probably couldn't book their dream honeymoon until they knew exactly how much their guests had contributed.

Peachyking000 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:41:49

We had 2 "honeymoons" along these lines, mainly as we wanted to take DC on the second one. We didn't ask for any money towards them though! I hate people asking for money for wedding gifts, it just makes me want to do the opposite, e.g. sponsor an acre of rainforest in their name or something equally petty. I am a bitch though

Out2pasture Wed 16-Aug-17 19:42:37

They are taking advantage. In which case I'd be gifting them a toaster.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Wed 16-Aug-17 19:43:00

Don't be such a miserable git - lots of people aren't able to have their honeymoon immediately after their wedding and have it later on. I didn't, but would never judge anyone who does. Google "mini-moon", it's actually really common.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Wed 16-Aug-17 19:43:59

And they can ask for whatever they like as a wedding gift, you are equally as entitled to give a gift off-list or decline the invitation.

Muddlingalongalone Wed 16-Aug-17 19:44:34

Depends - if they are heading to Southern Hemisphere or somewhere that would be in monsoon or hurricane season now then I can understand it tbh. Minimoon and honeymoon. I might have done that if I'd thought of it!
Not keen on the whole buy a balloon flight etc since the reality is you are just giving them cash onto a website AFAIK.

Dina1234 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:45:11

I'm pretty sure that the term honeymoon is supposed to refer to the night of the wedding then later turned into an extended trip immediately after the wedding. I definitely don't think that a holiday, no matter how lavish, months after the event counts.

MrsPringles Wed 16-Aug-17 19:46:30

I got married at the end of December, we waited until the May bank holiday to go on our honeymoon as we had to wait until my mum (a teacher) could have enough time off of work to look after DS.

Had we not had him, we would have jetted straight off smile

TheChineseChicken Wed 16-Aug-17 19:46:53

I did similar.

What I don't understand is so many threads on here from people invited to weddings bitching and moaning about contributing to honeymoons or giving cash gifts. This has been done for years and they are presumably your friend or family so why so begrudging?

TakeMe2Insanity Wed 16-Aug-17 19:47:52

I got married in January and went on homeymoon in June, but we didn't go anyway anywhere in between.

Ameliablue Wed 16-Aug-17 19:48:45

I'd assume they want to get married in summer when weather is nice here but maybe it's cheaper, better weather, other commitments mean going later makes more sense.

MammyHester9116 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:49:23

We got married at the end of December but both work in education so waiting until the Easter holidays for our honeymoon.
Gave us time to save for it and pay it off after the wedding. We paid most of it ourselves though. Some family kindly helped and gave us money as a wedding present but not asked/expected!

PollyFlint Wed 16-Aug-17 19:51:44

Does it really matter if it's a holiday or a honeymoon,. though? You're still contributing to something they really want, and presumably not actually spending any more on your contribution than you would on a gift. I don't understand why it makes a difference. The end result and the amount of money you spend is the same to you whatever you call it.

I know other people who have had a little break after their wedding and then a much bigger holiday at a later date which they treated as their honeymoon - for all sorts of reasons, all of which seemed perfectly valid to me. I don't see what difference it makes to anyone else. I'd be just as happy to contribute to a 'holiday of a lifetime' as a wedding gift as I would to a 'honeymoon'. I'd certainly rather do either of those than buy them a gift they didn't really need.

TatianaLarina Wed 16-Aug-17 19:52:59

15 grand is a deposit on a flat. What a waste of money.

balsamicbarbara Wed 16-Aug-17 19:54:00

What does it matter? You're going to give them a gift right? Pick whatever the closest thing is to the value you want to give and be done with it.

sparechange Wed 16-Aug-17 19:55:56

Yes, it seems to be more popular. Having a quick think about weddings I've been to over the last couple of years, about half had a 'mini moon' long weekend straight after the wedding and then a proper honeymoon months later
I think partly because destinations that are honeymoon-worthy have nice weather at different times of year to when UK weather is wedding-worthy
And partly because people want to have some time between the expense of a wedding and the expense of a honeymoon

I really can't get worked up over when a couple take their honeymoon, or the semantics of it. It seems quite petty

Dailystuck71 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:56:19

I got married in June and went away in September. Nothing in between though.

DoJo Wed 16-Aug-17 19:57:11

We went on our 'honeymoon' two years after we got married! Weddings are expensive and we wanted to put our money into giving our guests a good time (free bar, large venue, plenty of food etc) rather than taking money out of our budget for a holiday just for us. It seemed silly to do two 'once in a lifetime' big things shortly after one another, so we saved and spaced them out, plus we had put our stuff in storage and rent out our house etc while we were away which wouldn't have been practical had we just got married.

I hope that people who came to our wedding weren't pretending to like us but secretly judging us for not going on holiday when they thought we should.

sparechange Wed 16-Aug-17 19:57:42

They are taking advantage

Taking advantage of what?
The well-established custom of buying a present when you attend a wedding

What a miserable and miserly attitude

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