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Should I tell DD about Father Christmas before starting secondary school?

(201 Posts)
keepingonrunning Wed 16-Aug-17 19:01:17

And if so, how?
I am very happy that DD has got to this age while still being a passionate believer.
However she relies on me to be utterly truthful with her after trust/honesty let-downs with others close to her. Once or twice recently she asked me directly and I fudged an answer.
I don't want her to be a laughing stock at secondary school but I also know she will be heartbroken. Ruining her Christmas magic spell forever would always sit on my conscience.
Her ears are closed to playground rumours!

Nomoreboomandbust Wed 16-Aug-17 19:01:59

Don't be bloody ridiculous

keepingonrunning Wed 16-Aug-17 19:02:56


lightgreenglass Wed 16-Aug-17 19:03:02

I would. My BF started secondary and didn't know. She got ripped to pieces.

PosyBear Wed 16-Aug-17 19:03:15

Goodness sake! Tell her.
I know it's hard. I had to do the same thing. But just have the chat.

flissfloss65 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:04:17

I know my son stopped believing aged about 8 But he still goes along with the idea just t to humour me!

SerfTerf Wed 16-Aug-17 19:05:30


Why did you fudge when asked? You've complicated it for yourself there 🙄😄Maybe just bring that back up again in a "You know when you asked me about Father Christmas? Well I have a confession..." way?

Edsheeranalbumparty Wed 16-Aug-17 19:05:40

Is she starting secondary school as in next month?

Surely by then it's no longer 'playground rumours' about FC not being real, it's just a given?

I think you should tell her. Definitely.

trinity0097 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:05:48

I don't believe she has got to the end of primary school without knowing, unless you have been home educating her?!

Fresh8008 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:05:51

She will get ripped to pieces if her new friends find out she believes in Santa. If you leave it for 12 year olds to tell her she might think even worse of you for lying to her for so long when everyone else her age will already know. Get her dad to tell her.

peaceloveandbiscuits Wed 16-Aug-17 19:06:07

In my experience, children know and play along in order to get presents. So I wouldn't get too worked up about ruining Christmas for her.

SkyWalker95 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:06:12

Unless she has learning difficulties she already knows. No way she doesn't. She just loves Christmas or getting extra presents or loves your reaction.

coriliavijvaad Wed 16-Aug-17 19:06:14

You can keep the magic going by involving her in the magic.

Father Christmas is real, because Father Christmas lives in every person who finds out that there is more joy in giving than receiving, and chooses to give anonymously in order to maximise that joy.

Then find ways for her to start making anonymous gifts to experience that joy herself.

GherkinSnatch Wed 16-Aug-17 19:06:20

Yes tell her! You should have told her when she outright asked the first time. FC isn't what makes Christmas magical etc

viques Wed 16-Aug-17 19:06:25

If she relies on you to be truthful and you are "fudging" answers about Father Christmas then I am not surprised she has trust issues. Poor kid, show her some respect by treating her with honesty.

AngeloftheSouth84 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:07:09

Are you trying to imply there's no such thing as Father Christmas? Don't be daft!

UserX Wed 16-Aug-17 19:07:12

However she relies on me to be utterly truthful with her

Well that'll be out the window then won't it?!?

You could try telling her she's old enough to be in on the secret & help to create the magic for the little ones, that might soften it a bit.

NovaArt3mis Wed 16-Aug-17 19:07:26

It's possible she knows. I realised around 8 but played along for a few more years as it felt more magical and I didn't want to make my mum sad!

Anasnake Wed 16-Aug-17 19:07:33

You're going to have to 'ruin her Christmas magic spell' at some point - it's called growing up. She'll be a teenager before you know it and yes, the other kids may take the piss. I'm a teacher and have seen this happen a few times.

keepingonrunning Wed 16-Aug-17 19:07:35

Thank you for your opinions.
I guess I know I have to do it. I'm just not looking forward to feeling shit afterwards.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 16-Aug-17 19:08:05

Yes, tell her. But in a way that doesn't make you look like a liar. Got younger children?

I'd say something like 'your old enough now to know that we keep the magic going for the younger ones.' Or 'only those who still believe get gifts' big Wink 😉

BikeRunSki Wed 16-Aug-17 19:08:32

My brother is a secondary school teacher, and also makes "father christmas" phone calls to my DC in December. DS is nearly 9 now, and DBro has said that we need to tell DS the truth before he starts secondary school because he will be ripped to shreds otherwise*. I think DS is beginning the suspect the feasibility of Father C of his own accord though.

*NB this is the same man who told me when I was about 7 though (he is 10 years older than me).

Moonshine86 Wed 16-Aug-17 19:08:40

As a teacher I have first hand dealt with a sobbing year 7 student who had at the end of my lesson been told F c is not real.

Please tell her X

BackieJerkhart Wed 16-Aug-17 19:09:00

Tell her what about Father Christmas? He's ok isn't he? He isn't sick? shock

Catsize Wed 16-Aug-17 19:10:17

He's not real??? 😳😥 🎄

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