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Aibu? It's a mil one... nursery photo

(84 Posts)
Walkthroughthefire Wed 16-Aug-17 17:18:03

It was Ds first day at nursery today. For a specific reason I've deactivated facebook this week with the aim of going back next week to share pics of first day etc. It's a really emotional day for me for various reasons.
I sent a couple of pics to grandparents which were not for public view as they have the name of ds nursery in them.
Dh has just told me his mum has shared on fb. I'm pretty annoyed because a, it's our first and right to share and b, nursery name thing.
I've messaged her and (politely) asked her to remove it. Dh thinks I'm massively unreasonable and she'll now be upset.
Àibu to be upset and have emailed her?

PandorasXbox Wed 16-Aug-17 17:22:33

Did you tell her not to put it on FB?

Walkthroughthefire Wed 16-Aug-17 17:23:59

No but it was a surprise as she very rarely post at all and almost never photos

jelliebelly Wed 16-Aug-17 17:25:03

Unless you asked her not to and/or explained some of the reasons you've alluded to in this post then YABU

Whosthemummynow Wed 16-Aug-17 17:25:37

Are you just annoyed she posted the pic before you did?

Gorgosparta Wed 16-Aug-17 17:26:04


You didnt ask her not to. How was she to know?

You cant see them, does it matter?

PandorasXbox Wed 16-Aug-17 17:26:22

But if you knew you didn't want them online because they had the name of the nursery on them you really should have mentioned it.

AngeloftheSouth84 Wed 16-Aug-17 17:26:24

If you didn't tell her, YABU. People are not psychic. You shared, unless you told her it was for her eyes only, then in this day and age you can automatically assume it will be shared by others

YouRat Wed 16-Aug-17 17:26:44

So if she didn't know she wasn't supposed to share this pic. How is it her fault ? She's just as proud and happy for her GC so probably wanted to share. I wouldn't have asked her to take it down. Just share your pictures on your Facebook too.

Reden89 Wed 16-Aug-17 17:26:55

I would 100% be like you. When it's your child for a special event like that especially it's your decision to share it no one else's! My mum recently told all my family about our secret wedding and couldn't wait for me to break the news myself hmm families... my DH never thinks anything is a big deal, he just keeps out of it and thinks I'm over sensitive about things. But it's your child not theirs at the end of the day xxx

manhowdy Wed 16-Aug-17 17:27:18

YABU if the main reason is you wanted to share first. It's not like she announced your child's birth. It's the first day at nursery and in honesty not that interesting.

However, if you are genuinely concerned about your DSs location being made public then YANBU.

Fekko Wed 16-Aug-17 17:27:32

In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter a jot.

Did he enjoy nursery?

Glumglowworm Wed 16-Aug-17 17:27:36

YANBU for not wanting it online at all, YABU for expecting her to read your mind and know that without you telling her

TheVanguardSix Wed 16-Aug-17 17:27:58

YAB a tad bit U, but I get your point of view. Don't sweat the small stuff, OP. It's not worth the conflict.
Congratulations on such a big and very emotional milestone. flowers

RicottaPancakes Wed 16-Aug-17 17:28:23

Of course she shouldn' t have done that! It's not her child. You don't post photos of other people's children.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 16-Aug-17 17:28:24

It's a shame you're upset but I don't think your MiL has done anything wrong.

I don't do FB at all so maybe I just don't get the angst it raises.

PodgeBod Wed 16-Aug-17 17:28:56

Yanbu to not want the name of the nursery shared but it sounds more like you're upset that she posted first which is a bit drama llama. She's proud of her grandchild which is nice.

Strokethefurrywall Wed 16-Aug-17 17:28:57

Jesus peace. Why does anyone think that other people care that their child has started nursery?

It's a big deal to you. It is not a big deal to other people. Even without any further information I'm going to go right ahead and let you know YABU and a PFB pain in the ass.

<seriously, are there genuinely people in the world this fucking uptight?>

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 16-Aug-17 17:29:18

Hardly her fault if you didn't say anything.


AngeloftheSouth84 Wed 16-Aug-17 17:29:26

And if for whatever reason the name of the nursery needs to remain anonymous, then don't take a photo with the name of the nursery in it

Ropsleybunny Wed 16-Aug-17 17:29:34


StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 16-Aug-17 17:29:41

You don't post photos of other people's children It's the child's Grandparent, not just anyone.

PandorasXbox Wed 16-Aug-17 17:30:00

Ricotta it's not just "other people's children" it's her grandson. She's not a mind reader, she should have been told not to put it on SM.

LittleOwl153 Wed 16-Aug-17 17:30:09

Can you report her photo to Facebook and ask to remove it because of the nursery name?

CardsforKittens Wed 16-Aug-17 17:31:35

I think if these are pictures that you took, no one else should be sharing them. I also think your MIL would be unreasonable to get upset at being asked to remove them. All she needs to do is say, "Oh, ok - if you don't want them on Facebook I'll take them off." And then she should remember to ask before sharing any of your photos in the future.

If this is the first time she's done something like this it's not worth getting annoyed at her - different generations seem to have different approaches to sharing things on Facebook. As long as she respects your views from now on, that's the main thing.

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