We have three DC and live quite some distance to our relatives. We are travelling up soon to stay for a few weeks and have made the call to stay with my parents for the duration of our trip but to have plenty of day trips to see PIL.
There are various reasons for us making this choice. My mum & dad have a spare pushchair for us, plenty of spare bedrooms, a high chair, loads of children's toys & a big garden for them to run around in. MIL & FILs house really isn't geared up for kids. It's quite small so it feels like we are living in each other's pockets when we are there. They also don't have a bath and our youngest two can't use the shower (very powerful shower, DC2 is scared of the water hitting her face and their shower head can't be detached so showers are a big issue, DC3 is only 1). No grass in the garden, not a single toy.
I also haven't been very well lately and am under strict instruction from the GP to take it easy. Lugging three DC to various people's houses to stay is anything but relaxing.
On top of all that, my inlaws often undermine my husband and I. It's clear that they dislike me but I continue to take the kids to visit them, even though I feel like an inconvenience the whole time I'm there and they'd probably rather I wasn't in their lives.
Since I fell pregnant with our first, the relationship has been very tense. They tried to take over and boss me around. They lost it when we didn't choose their son as godfather etc. used to go behind my back and continually tell my husband I needed to FF rather than breastfeed as I apparently wasn't producing enough milk, when in fact DC1 was gaining weight perfectly.
Anyway, we tried to tell them that we were hurt about a few things and MIL basically said she couldn't talk about it and ended the call and then didn't talk to DH for over a month.
Now we've told MIL we'll be staying with my parents and she isn't happy. She has said she feels hurt and that if she's done something wrong, we should just say. The truth is, nothing has happened as such to make us not want to stay with them, it's just not as practical for us at this moment in time and we will definitely visit loads during our trip. I just find it a bit of a joke that she's saying we should tell he if we're upset because when we did try that, she got so defensive and then didn't talk to DH for so long, and when she did start speaking to him again, she acted like the conversation didn't happen so nothing got resolved.
AIBU with this or is MIL?
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AIBU?
AIBU? Another MIL one!
104 replies
MissDeSilva · 16/08/2017 08:35
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