Just realised people are at it in my garden WIBU to...

[AVY1]

... whisper out of the window, 'I can see you!' in the creepiest voice I can manage?

In serious, heard the side gate swing a couple of minutes ago so had a glance out of the window. Fairly certain it's the neighbour from a few doors down but it doesn't look like her husband.

DH (who isn't here) thinks I should ring the police non-emergency. I think it's harmless (unless it is an affair but I'm not 100% it is her - there's been an event on at the pub at the end of our road but she'd have had to walk past her house to get to mine) but I don't think they mean any harm to us.

What would you do?

[gamerchick]

Ah you have to play with them man

[Sparklingbrook]

Shut the curtains and go to bed.

[Mumteadumpty]

Put the light on

[iamapixiebutnotaniceone]

Play the audio from some really bad porn to them. Make sure they can hear you laughing at them!

[couchparsnip]

Literally a CFN! I would throw things at them.

[couchparsnip]

Scratch that. Porn music is a much better idea.

[Out2pasture]

scour the spot in the am for the used condom and wrapper before the little ones go out....

[OuchLegoHurts]

Definitely throw at least a pint of water on top of them!

[MyKingdomForBrie]

I'd want to do something like turn lights on etc but I'd be a wimp and do nothing!

Definitely b and q for a padlock for the gate tomorrow..

[MumIsRunningAMarathon]

You sure they aren't perseid watching?

[alfagirl73]

Find an audio of a really creepy horrible voice and play that! 😂

[ThouShallNotPass]

Definitely turn the hose on them! CFNs are rife right now huh?

[AVY1]

Oh god I hadn't thought about what they might leave behind! My cats are out and one is an ex stray that will eat anything!

They're on the patio leaning against a lean to shed thing. The bathroom window is right above it - I think the shower head might reach far enough!

Although I do like the poem music idea.

[CremeFresh]

There are actual people , in your garden shagging . Open the window and give a running commentary, followed by holding up a score card a la strictly come dancing

[AVY1]

Porn not poem.

[steff13]

I'd turn the hose on them.

[ExplodedCloud]

Scream out of the window "Oh my god it's Margery from number 53 shagging in my garden! Hello Dennis! Oh! You aren't Dennis!"

[HarrietSchulenberg]

You definitely need to clap and cheer them on.

[user7841794168]

Call your DH and shout loudly 'do you fancy a shag in the garden cos it's a lovely night' and they will soon run.

[CremeFresh]

Or commentary like a horse race ..... 'and he's coming into the home stretch now, he can see the finish line, just a couple of strokes away aaaaaaaand he's over the line !!!

[AVY1]

Part of me doesn't want to spoil their fun. Though I am concerned they managed to get in. Lights were already on. There is one of those disco ball things in DDs room. Maybe I could sneak down and put it on the kitchen window sill?

[AVY1]

Creme that's brilliant! I thought they'd be done quickly but it's been at least 20 minutes now

[StaplesCorner]

20 minutes?!!! You MUST go out there.

[user7841794168]

20 minutes? Go and ask them for their tips on making it last so long - or ask where he gets his viagra from.