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Just realised people are at it in my garden WIBU to...

(226 Posts)
AVY1 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:29:00

... whisper out of the window, 'I can see you!' in the creepiest voice I can manage?

In serious, heard the side gate swing a couple of minutes ago so had a glance out of the window. Fairly certain it's the neighbour from a few doors down but it doesn't look like her husband.

DH (who isn't here) thinks I should ring the police non-emergency. I think it's harmless (unless it is an affair but I'm not 100% it is her - there's been an event on at the pub at the end of our road but she'd have had to walk past her house to get to mine) but I don't think they mean any harm to us.

What would you do?

ClemDanfango Sun 13-Aug-17 00:30:22

There's random people shagging in your garden?!
Turn the hose on them.

gamerchick Sun 13-Aug-17 00:30:52

Ah you have to play with them man grin

Sparklingbrook Sun 13-Aug-17 00:30:53

Shut the curtains and go to bed.

Mumteadumpty Sun 13-Aug-17 00:31:00

Put the light on

iamapixiebutnotaniceone Sun 13-Aug-17 00:32:23

Play the audio from some really bad porn to them. Make sure they can hear you laughing at them!

couchparsnip Sun 13-Aug-17 00:32:29

Literally a CFN! I would throw things at them.

couchparsnip Sun 13-Aug-17 00:33:29

Scratch that. Porn music is a much better idea.

Out2pasture Sun 13-Aug-17 00:33:59

scour the spot in the am for the used condom and wrapper before the little ones go out....

OuchLegoHurts Sun 13-Aug-17 00:34:03

Definitely throw at least a pint of water on top of them!

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 13-Aug-17 00:34:49

I'd want to do something like turn lights on etc but I'd be a wimp and do nothing!

Definitely b and q for a padlock for the gate tomorrow..

MumIsRunningAMarathon Sun 13-Aug-17 00:34:57

You sure they aren't perseid watching?

alfagirl73 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:35:14

Find an audio of a really creepy horrible voice and play that! 😂

ThouShallNotPass Sun 13-Aug-17 00:35:41

Definitely turn the hose on them! CFNs are rife right now huh?

AVY1 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:35:56

Oh god I hadn't thought about what they might leave behind! My cats are out and one is an ex stray that will eat anything!

They're on the patio leaning against a lean to shed thing. The bathroom window is right above it - I think the shower head might reach far enough!

Although I do like the poem music idea.

CremeFresh Sun 13-Aug-17 00:35:56

There are actual people , in your garden shagging confused. Open the window and give a running commentary, followed by holding up a score card a la strictly come dancing grin

AVY1 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:36:32

Porn not poem.

steff13 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:37:40

I'd turn the hose on them.

ExplodedCloud Sun 13-Aug-17 00:38:04

Scream out of the window "Oh my god it's Margery from number 53 shagging in my garden! Hello Dennis! Oh! You aren't Dennis!"

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 13-Aug-17 00:38:11

You definitely need to clap and cheer them on.

user7841794168 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:38:33

Call your DH and shout loudly 'do you fancy a shag in the garden cos it's a lovely night' and they will soon run.

CremeFresh Sun 13-Aug-17 00:39:22

Or commentary like a horse race ..... 'and he's coming into the home stretch now, he can see the finish line, just a couple of strokes away aaaaaaaand he's over the line !!!

AVY1 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:40:02

Part of me doesn't want to spoil their fun. Though I am concerned they managed to get in. Lights were already on. There is one of those disco ball things in DDs room. Maybe I could sneak down and put it on the kitchen window sill?

AVY1 Sun 13-Aug-17 00:40:59

Creme that's brilliant! I thought they'd be done quickly but it's been at least 20 minutes now confused

StaplesCorner Sun 13-Aug-17 00:42:53

20 minutes?!!! You MUST go out there.

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