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To get so upset over this stranger?

(34 Posts)
MozzchopsThirty Sat 12-Aug-17 22:51:28

An incident happened today and I cried about it for ages afterwards and even tonight it's really bothering me. AIBU to be so upset?

I went to my gym today, there was a man walking right behind me and as I walked through the door he pushed me aside and walked through

I did the usual British thing of saying 'wow excuse me' in a loud voice but it was like he didn't hear me
I said to the receptionist 'god some people are so rude'

Then as I walked down the corridor to the changing room he was walking back having forgotten to input his car reg into the computer, there was only us in the corridor and plenty of room yet again he barged into me

I was a little shocked then said 'I'm going to see the manager you've pushed me twice'

Then I cried for ages, the manager spoke to him and said he confirmed what I'd said but offered no explanation and was rude to her too
She said she's sending him a warning letter that if he behaves like this again his membership will be cancelled

I'm not a crying person, I deal with twats and get threatened on a weekly basis in work but this was just so odd
He didn't speak, nothing, never even seen him before

Iseesheep Sat 12-Aug-17 22:54:27

He's a dick but I'm not sure he's worth crying over for ages.

Blondielongie Sat 12-Aug-17 22:54:35

Omg. He sounds like a prick! Good for you complaining to the manager. now if when he does it to someone else, it's been logged already by you.

Don't be upset. He is the jerk with the problem. I wonder if he would have shoved you if you were a man. hmm

SerfTerf Sat 12-Aug-17 22:55:59

Totally his issue. The manager sounds good.

MumIsRunningAMarathon Sat 12-Aug-17 22:58:34

It must be catching op..... we've had the London jogger pushing, and now this

Male arrogance.... it's a thing

user1497863568 Sat 12-Aug-17 23:00:04

What a weirdo

Barbadosgirl Sat 12-Aug-17 23:00:59

I think I understand...it is the shock and anger someone could be so arrogant and treat you like nothing, no? Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

viques Sat 12-Aug-17 23:03:08

Well done you! I think you behaved amazingly, you called this guy out (twice) and you reported him. I think you did at least three things there that most of us would have not done, because most of us would just have slunk home muttering to ourselves but would not have actually done anything, so you mozzchops are my hero of the day. Would you mind standing up on this plinth so I can give you a tbusmile and a bunch of flowers, sorry about bun, he's the nearest I can find to a medal. There you go. Now, just turn round and look noble while I play the national anthem......

Carouselfish Sat 12-Aug-17 23:06:30

If you've never seen him before then it seems he's barged past rudely then overreacted to your justified annoyance. Aggressive and rude to the female manager too - perhaps a woman hater. It's a scary and upsetting thing to encounter OP when people don't behave within the realms of acceptable and expected behaviour - that's probably why it felt different to your job where you ARE expecting it. I have met men like that a couple of times and it is unnerving. Maybe switch your gym attendance time for a while, not that you should have to of course, but just to lessen the chances. Can you attend with a friend or partner for a while?

Somerford Sat 12-Aug-17 23:07:44

Male arrogance.... it's a thing

Yeah, first the bloody jogger and now this. That's men for you eh? But all dozens of threads per day on here where posters describe interactions with other women who've behaved appallingly are apparently nothing to do with sex and/or gender.

Sorry you had to deal with this idiot, OP, I'm sure it was upsetting. Totally unnecessary to behave like that but some people are just twats when all is said and done. Hopefully the gym will do something and you won't have to experience it again.

MozzchopsThirty Sat 12-Aug-17 23:08:03

smilesmilesmilesmile thank you that made me lol

I've just never experienced anything like it, sure you get people who push past you in shops or airports, or people who drop a door.
But for someone to do it twice to me, not even in public but in a private place I pay to go has really unnerved me

MozzchopsThirty Sat 12-Aug-17 23:09:40

And 99% of people there are lovely & friendly & helpful

Queenioqueenio Sat 12-Aug-17 23:12:36

He's obvs a twat Op flowers

Isadora2007 Sat 12-Aug-17 23:15:49

Yeah I wonder if the difference for you and the reason you got upset was that at work you're mentally prepared for nasty behaviour but the gym is your personal time and your space where you are yourself and not your job role. So you weren't prepared hence it being more personal and horrible.
flowers

Tapandgo Sat 12-Aug-17 23:15:55

He clearly has serious issues and sounds dangerous.
This isn't a 'man thing', it's a pig ignorant oafish individual thing - but still a danger to others. He needs to be warned that police will be involved if there is any further issues of assault. (The club should keep any cctv evidence - I imagine this isn't his first outburst, and won't be his last)

flickertee Sat 12-Aug-17 23:17:09

@viques when I'm feeling low do you mind if I send you a message? You cheered ME up with that post and I wasn't even there grin

Guavaf1sh Sat 12-Aug-17 23:19:22

You did the right thing

MozzchopsThirty Sat 12-Aug-17 23:19:57

Yes viques all my smilesmilesmile were for you and your amazing post thank you, made me smile flowers

MozzchopsThirty Sat 12-Aug-17 23:21:37

I'm so embarrassed that I got so upset, it's just not me
I've never seen him before and hopefully won't see him again

Squarerouteofsquirrel Sat 12-Aug-17 23:22:02

Maybe he has mistaken you for someone - not excusing him btw. Just trying to understand why on earth someone would deliberately push into a total stranger twice
I once had a man follow me round a supermarket glaring at me, Had no idea who he was. Hadn't even got near enough to him have done anything to offend, to my knowledge. Only rational explanation is he had mistaken me got someone else ? Strange man and gym man sound like an utter knob too.

yorkshireyummymummy Sat 12-Aug-17 23:24:23

Something that might be worth mentioning. I certainly don't think it's anything personal. He sounds like he would have been a knob no matter who was in the corridor - just as long as it was a woman -. He must have issues either with a) women or b) people in general so either way he is utterly fucked as there are lots of people/ women about!! Haha, let's hope he does it again to a man and gets - his teeth knocked out- his membership revoked. Don't cry sweetheart, he really is not worthy of your tears, anger or time.

yorkshireyummymummy Sat 12-Aug-17 23:25:22

Oh dear! I'm new on here and thought I would try the putting a line through things as I think it looks really cool. Seems I have failed somewhat!

AnnieAnoniMouse Sun 13-Aug-17 00:01:48

Yorkshire. You need two -- < like that, each side, with NO spaces before or after the words. --like this.

Mozzy it's probably not helping that ''other stuff' has been going on. You're probably a bit less resilient at the moment 💐 I hope the wankbadger gets what he deserves.

PollyFlint Sun 13-Aug-17 00:09:19

Agree with yorkshireyummymummy - I don't think it was anything personal towards you, he's just a massive arsehole and a bit unhinged. And if this is the way he generally behaves, someone will indeed punch him one day.

Can see why you were shaken/upset by it though. It's really bizarre to find yourself on the receiving end of that sort of weird behaviour. As you say, it's the oddness of it that's unsettling.

Jumba1aya Sun 13-Aug-17 00:25:53

*Yeah, first the bloody jogger and now this. That's men for you eh? But all dozens of threads per day on here where posters describe interactions with other women who've behaved appallingly are apparently nothing to do with sex and/or gender.

Sorry you had to deal with this idiot, OP, I'm sure it was upsetting. Totally unnecessary to behave like that but some people are just twats when all is said and done. Hopefully the gym will do something and you won't have to experience it again.*

Well said.

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