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To think my son in law was NOT being inappropriate?

(75 Posts)
nanatobetobe Sat 12-Aug-17 19:42:48

I went to our village fete today with my lovely DD, 10 month DGS and SIL. There were lots of kiddie activities and a large ringed off area where different events were taking place throughout the day I.e dog show. When it wasn't being used the kids were using it as a play area. We were sitting just alongside it. A football came into our little space so SIL licked it back to a group of young lads, it came back to us so he kicked it back again, it came back to us, this time with a lot of force so my SiL did a very theatrical dive, rolled over and got up clutching his leg to much hilarity from the group of boys.

This then developed into a free for all with my SIL being ever more inventive in his 'dives'. More kids joined in and some started diving on top of him as he fell down. He then became a 'monster' chasing the kids around. More dad's joined in and it evolved into a game of British bulldog (I'm showing my age here) until even the event announcer was getting the crowd to cheer on the 2 sides, adults and children.

However throughout this my DD was getting increasingly annoyed, she told me to stop encouraging her DH and when I asked why she said it wasn't appropriate for him to be playing with children he didn't know.

To my mind it was a lovely afternoon with lots of camaraderie between people who didn't know each other before (lots of high fives) and really great fun. My DD went to SIL and pulled him away. He sort of sheepishly came to sit down while the fun and games continued. I spoke to them both afterwards but my DD is adamant that it could have been misconstrued and he should not have let it 'get out of hand'.

Really? I'm a bit bemused as can't see why it is such an issue. Have things really come to this? So, mumsnetters what do you think?

AlternativeTentacle Sat 12-Aug-17 19:45:23


Aquamarine1029 Sat 12-Aug-17 19:46:23

I think your daughter was being ridiculous and must be very uptight. I feel poorly for your son-in-law being chastised like a child when he wasn't even doing anything wrong. He sounds like a fun, lovely guy.

ImperialBlether Sat 12-Aug-17 19:46:40

I think she risks him not wanting to be with her if she's such a killjoy.

Timeforabiscuit Sat 12-Aug-17 19:47:39

Sounds like great fun to me! does your daughter dislike the attention or standing out socially? - i can appreciate it can feel massively uncomfortable if you dont like that kind of rambunctious behaviour.

user1468353179 Sat 12-Aug-17 19:48:36

It sounds like everyone was having fun, your daughter was being a killjoy.

StillDrivingMeBonkers Sat 12-Aug-17 19:48:37

Does she normally exhibit signs of extreme anxiety like this?

PollyFlint Sat 12-Aug-17 19:48:44

It doesn't sound inappropriate to me at all. You mentioned there were other dads joining in too and obviously none of these kids' parents had an issue with them being part of a group football/British Bulldog game. This was a community event with lots of people around; it's not like your SIL was hanging around a random park looking for kids to play with.

I think your DD was being a bit weird about it - it sounds more like she was a bit embarrassed by (or jealous of) the attention her husband was getting.

Bluntness100 Sat 12-Aug-17 19:48:48

Very strange reaction. Is there something behind her reaction? That's what would worry me. Has he been inappropriate with kids before maybe?

honeysucklejasmine Sat 12-Aug-17 19:49:21

I think your dd is a bit odd.

Rufus27 Sat 12-Aug-17 19:50:48

Your SiL sounds lovely - and what a pleasant change to hear a grand parent siding with the in-law rather than automatically taking DD's side. grin

CaptainHammer Sat 12-Aug-17 19:51:10

Sounds like a massive over reaction from your DD. There must be some story behind why she acted that way?

PsychoPumpkin Sat 12-Aug-17 19:52:21

Yeah, your DD was overreacting. Her husband sounds fab!

Questioningeverything Sat 12-Aug-17 19:52:36

Your dd (lovely as I'm sure she is) sounds like she's got ishoooos

lazydog Sat 12-Aug-17 19:52:55

Wow. Your daughter sounds like a total fun-sponge. Your son in law was doing nothing wrong and she needs to lighten up.

GwenStaceyRocks Sat 12-Aug-17 19:56:19

On that one incident, your DD was being UR.
But I have a BIL who always has to be the centre of attention, who everyone else sees as a 'great guy' but he is all about the external view. I could see him acting like your son-in-law and my DSIS being pissed off. It's never enough for him just to spend time with his family.

squoosh Sat 12-Aug-17 19:58:01

Your daughter sounds like an anti-hoot.

nanatobetobe Sat 12-Aug-17 19:59:32

She is a rather anxious girl and finds it hard to mix socially with people whereas SIL is life and soul type. We are southerners whereas he is from 'up north' and much more willing to talk to random strangers. I like that about him. They do compliment each other though and have a very loving relationship. I just felt it was an over reaction by my DD but so much has changed since my kids were little I wondered if this was the norm now.

GreenTulips Sat 12-Aug-17 20:00:40

Sounds like the kids had a great time! It's. Or like he was in The park without other parents!!

Sounds a misery

Mumof56 Sat 12-Aug-17 20:01:28

Your DD is in the wrong. Ask her why did she marry him if she thinks he's a peado?

RaspberryMousse Sat 12-Aug-17 20:02:05

This could have been my husband. Whenever we take our five year old daughter to a soft play or somewhere, he will get stuck in playing with her and often ends up with a trail of kids running around after him. I just let him get on with it, it's great fun to watch (and I can sit with a hot coffee and mumsnet...)!

Sorry, your daughter was totally being upright and unreasonable.

Floralnomad Sat 12-Aug-17 20:03:13

Agree with pp your dd is a fun sponge and needs to lighten up before it rubs off on your GC .

stillvicarinatutu Sat 12-Aug-17 20:04:35

your SIL sounds lovely! cant you just tell your dd she was being a silly sod and to get over it and stop treating him like some naughty child? id get very pissed off with that after a while.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Sat 12-Aug-17 20:05:44

I remember being on a campsite a couple of years ago and DH and the chap next to us took our and their sons for a kick about. More children joined in and they ended up refereeing a full scale football match. It was great fun and I bet there were lots of parents only too happy to sit back and let someone else entertain their children.

implantsandaDyson Sat 12-Aug-17 20:06:22

Actually I agree with GwenStacey I have a relative that sounds very similar to your son in law, everyone thinks he's great craic, a great laugh when out and about, always in the middle with everyone's kids but Christ is he annoying to live with or spend more than 2 hours with. He needs to be feted for being fab with kids but to the detriment of his own family. I think your daughter has phrased her dislike of her husbands behaviour badly but it could be that she's fed up.

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